Florida Lottery's New Marketing Strategy Asks: Who Are You?

​If pink flamingos framed against curiously striped orange suns cause you to immediately start scrounging your pockets for a dollar bill... then you're probably a redneck Floridian. As eponymous as the lotto symbol is to our din of sundrenched wealth, the Florida Lottery is actually struggling: Total sales for the fiscal year through June 2009 were $3.961 billion, down from $4.204 billion the year before, reports The Palm Beach Post. In reaction, the Lottery has hired marketing firm Ipsos-Reid to analyze its potential customer base -- i.e., you -- to see how to get more of those dollar bills out of your pockets.

In doing so, Ipsos-Reid has classified lotto players into six categories, which we promise we attempted to take seriously:

• Indifferent jackpot dabblers -- Mostly young and middle-aged women, the IJD plays only when the jackpot's big, kind of like in real life.
  

• Upscale gamers -- Highly educated and fairly wealthy, the lotto is just the hash browns on the side to these 54 percent males who play poker, bet on sports games, and like their women loose (we presume).
• Thrill-seeking dreamers -- The largest portion of lotto players at 50 percent, these less wealthy, less bright friends enjoy scratch-offs and daily games, are likely to visit Indian casinos, gamble on the internet, and end up as your brother-in-law.
• Conflicted players -- They've heard bad things about gambling and the government's dependence on the revenue... but their palms haven't turned hairy yet, so game on!
• Prohibitionists -- Comprising only 1 percent of lotto players, they find gambling to be morally repugnant and didn't see you at church on Sunday. Where were you?
  
• Concerned followers -- Sheep.

Stay tuned for developments on the inevitable social networking site that matches you based on your Lotto Personality.