Hey, Visitors: Here's Your Broward County Super Bowl Itinerary

​Welcome to South Florida, you delirious pigskin fans, you! Now that you're here, remember not to fixate on Miami pre-gaming: The party has been moving steadily northward for years, and anyway, you'll need to run things on the cheap to afford getting scalped on Super Bowl Sunday.

For a complete guide to all Pro Bowl and Super Bowl events, click here. And for a suggested Broward itinerary for Super Bowl weekend, we recommend:

Saturday Morning
Arrive at the comfortable and convenient Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Head straight to Fort Lauderdale Beach and get beers at the Elbo Room, overlooking the water. It's at East Las Olas Boulevard and A1A - "Beachfront Avenue!" That's right! Word to your mother!

Saturday Afternoon
Check out Dania Jai-Alai to bet on Spaniards who sling the fastest ball in the world. Enter their drawing to win a big-screen TV.

Saturday Night
Get your bad self down to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino to find poker, tchotchkes and the bloated ghost of Anna Nicole Smith.

Sunday Morning
Slink over to the Floridian for brunch. Nothing terribly special, but eating solid food will give you time to figure out where your tooth went and why your friend is in suddenly in possession of a baby.

Sunday Afternoon
Head inland to the Swap Shop, a sprawling orgy of primordial capitalism that claims to be Florida's second-most-popular tourist attraction.

On the way to the game: Make time for the International Game Fishing Association Hall of Fame & Museum, where you can see huge fake fish. Photo op!

Sunday 6 p.m.
Get to Land Shark Stadium and prepare to get gouged by scalpers. Or head back to the jai-alai fronton to bet those hundreds on simulcast horse racing while watching the big game on your big screen.

-- Sam Eifling