West Palm Marine Reserve Unit on Watch for Terrorists Everywhere, Even Tampa Parking Garages

Jasen Bruce

​Not to say that we don't appreciate the men and women who volunteer to serve their country in the War Against Terrorism, but maybe this Marine Reserve unit in West Palm has the soldiers a bit too keyed up.

On November 11, a member of that unit, Jasen Bruce, was in Tampa, in the parking garage of near his home, removing stuff from his trunk when a Greek Orthodox priest approached him. Father Alexios Marakis speaks in broken English, has a long beard, and was wearing religious garb.

But to Bruce's eye, the priest looked like a dead ringer for Osama. He claimed the priest greeted him with, "Allahu Akbar" -- or whatever Mohamed Atta yelled before his plane hit the World Trade Center. To which Bruce replied with his tire iron.

Also, Bruce claims that while asking for directions, the priest grabbed Bruce's genitalia. And that the priest was maybe trying to rob him? Um, definitely! Can you find the victim in this story?

If you guessed the priest, who was hospitalized and needed stitches to close his wounds... WRONG. It's Bruce, who was arrested for aggravated battery and in the weeks since has been vilified by the usual culprits (antihate groups, liberal media). Which is why it's fortunate there's truly fair, objective, sober-minded news sources out there like Bubba the Love Sponge, which received an exclusive interview with Bruce.

Suspense continues to build for some key pieces of evidence. Among them: the 911 tape. In his call, did Bruce reference the alleged sexual advances of the priest? Or the alleged robbery? In addition, there's security camera footage that just might indicate whether Bruce is telling the truth about the priest's alleged sexual advances.

I left a message with the reserve unit from which, according to published reports, Bruce was honorably discharged.