Six Foot Iguana Lunches on Oakland Park Kid, Panther Gets More Room to Roam

Some cultures know what to do with a nuisance

​A six-foot iguana thought Madison Wells tasted pretty good this week. Sorta like a strawberry, in fact. Little 7-year-old Madison was feeding the beast strawberries when it decided to clamp down on her ankle, tearing up her tendons and requiring a couple of dozen stitches.

But the story gets better. According to the Sun-Sentinel, when trappers showed up to catch the lizard, the family who owned the Oakland Park property where Mr. Iguana was lurking refused to let them into the yard. I say it takes a warm heart and a lot of chutzpah to step to the defense of an oversized, kid-eating reptile that's not only NOT endangered, but destructive of habitat, native birds, and other critters.

Of course, the animal lovers are all

over this story. It was definitely the kid's fault. Or no, it was the kid's mother's fault. Because if you're not hovering over your kid every second of the day it would be better to just hand her over to Child Services.

Call me old fashioned, but isn't it sort of in the nature of kids to get busted up? Don't they, like, fall out of trees, wipe out on skateboards, poke out each others' eyes, and, um...get bitten by GIGANTIC LIZARDS that happen to be raging unchecked around urban yards?

One word of advice for little Maddy's supporters. I hear the best way to kill an iguana is to stick it in your freezer. Hopefully somebody in the neighborhood has a walk-in.

And in other news: Help actually may be on the horizon for the Florida panther. The panther's habitat has been squeezed almost out of existence. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has about 80 days to respond to a new scientific petition urging that more critical habitat be maintained for our panthers in the southern part of the state. With more room to roam, panthers are more than twice as likely to recover their numbers.

According to Environment News Service, the petition was filed by three nonprofit organizations,the Center for Biological Diversity, Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, and the Council of Civic Associations.