Don't Be Too Aware of Breast Cancer; It's Also Domestic Violence Awareness Month

By Thomas Francis Thu., Oct. 8 2009 at 2:42 PM

Categories: Health

Flickr: MagellansGirl

You thought you were so "aware" with your pink ribbon for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Where's your purple ribbon for Domestic Violence Awareness Month? Did it fall off while you were beating your spouse, hypocrite?

October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month. And since you're not aware of what spina bifida is, you failed that one too.

By the way, why are you wasting time reading this blog when it's National Book Month?

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Admittedly, it gets confusing. How can we observe National Dental Hygiene Month when it's also National Caramel Month and National Cookie Month? Come to think of it, even if somehow we manage to be aware of breast cancer, domestic violence, spina bifida, books, dental hygiene, cookies and caramel, then we're in flagrant violation of Freethought Month.

OK, I'll make this easy: Starting October 25, it's Respiratory Care Week. To celebrate that one, breathe. Think you can handle that? Easier yet, today is World Sight Day -- if you opened your eyes, you're a winner.

Another easy score: Send a link of this post to all your friends. You'd be helping me celebrate National Self-Promotion Month.

In conclusion, I hope you have a great day. But if you think I'm sincere about that, then you're not observing National Sarcasm Awareness Month.