In Scotland, Trump Wakes Sleeping Dogs

Apparently, the Scots are not all thrilled that their motherland gave birth to the woman who gave birth to The Man, Donald Trump, who treated his $1 billion plan to build a golf resort in the Scot town of Aberdeenshire as a sentimental investment.

That failed to win him favors in the British press, and none were more brutal than Selina Scott, who in 1995 made a documentary about Trump. He hosted Scott in his pimped-out cribs in New York City, Atlantic City and down here at the Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach. But it wasn't nearly the puff piece he had hoped for.

This past week opponents of that Trump golf resort distributed a fresh batch of documentary DVDs to town councillors. Which put the big man back on the offensive. In Great Britain's Daily Mail he was quoted thus:

"Selina Scott was a third-class journalist who is now ancient history and she treated me unfairly. It was a boring story then and she has since faded into oblivion where she belongs."

In response to which, Scott said this (remember to read with a British accent):

"Whether beautiful, protected, wild country should be ploughed up for hotel accommodation, in order to enhance Mr Trump's corporation in America, is a matter for the good citizens of Aberdeenshire.

Wait for it...

'However, once again Mr Trump has made himself look as ridiculous as the thatch he wears on his head.'

Afterall, the Guardian calls this "one of the great spats in television history," pitting a capitalist titan against a celebrity journalist once voted the sexiest woman on the British telly.

Courtesy The Scotsman, here's the film review Trump gave to Scott:

"You looked tired and beaten... uptight and insecure... you did nothing but try to ingratiate yourself. You were somewhat obnoxious and not at all very smart... you started asking me, off camera, whether or not I knew anyone who would take you out. You are not a first-class reporter. The interview was boring and foolish. You were both deceptive and dishonest. Selina, you have little talent and even fewer viewers. You are no longer 'hot'... you would obviously go to any lengths to try to restore your faded image."

Oooh, a vain man who knows how to bruise his adversary's own vanity. But the Brits can deal a similar blow without such a blustery wind-up. Scott's riposte:

"If you've got an ego as big as the Empire State Building, you're liable to get upset if someone dents it."

Get a room, you lovebirds!