Has Dog; Needs Nickname

Flickr: "Kendall"

There's a dog pirate terrorizing South Florida.

​The week after the gayest dog ever was stolen in Wilton Manors by a man with the gayest tattoo ever, the case is a national sensation -- following the original Sun-Sentinel article, there's this Huffington Post article and then this one in the New York Post. Yet the case remains unsolved, and investigators need your help.

Seriously, the suspect has a Britney Spears tattoo, which makes "Supercool Beas" sound positively sane by comparison. How many of those guys could possibly be out there?

Even if you don't know anyone fitting that description, you can at least participate in what is fast becoming a law enforcement tradition in Broward County: the nicknaming of the wanted man.

To review: Suspect has a Britney Spears tattoo and may be carrying a chihuahua last seen wearing pink earrings. It answers to the name Hudson Hayward Hemingway. (I know, but still better than Rock Rita Ernest, right?)

The caper is just the latest event in what's been a tragedy-strewn summer for the tiny breed.

On July 21, Gidget, the chihuahua of "Yo quiero Taco Bell" fame, died at the age of 15. All dogs go to heaven. Unfortunately, Taco Bell is served only in hell.

Earlier this month, a chihuahua belonging to a family in West Boca was the victim in a bizarre but seemingly unrelated rash of animal slayings in Palm Beach County.