Robbery at Regal Cinemas

The Cypress Creek Cinemas 16 at the corner of Andrews and Cypress Creek in Fort Lauderdale was robbed yesterday morning. According to police, the culprit - a 5'5, 200-pound white guy - confronted the manager with a gun as he entered the theatre in the morning, rounded up and bound all the employees, and demanded access to the safe. He took an undisclosed amount of cash, the employees' cell phones, and the manager's car.

Obviously this is a horribly traumatic event for the people involved. One can only imagine what Seth Rogan would have done, if he were on duty at the time. He probably would have chased the portly man (with an incredibly awkward amount of un-endowed frontal nudity) and then, when he's about to catch him...shoot him.

The suspect was  last seen wearing a gray/green shirt, cargo pants, and beige gloves.  He was wearing a mask at the time of the robbery.  The manager's vehicle is a 2007 Toyota Scion, gray in color, bearing Florida Tag J29-2CV.

A blogger with less integrity might postulate on possible motives (above the obvious monetary ones), things like: he really didn't like the corny ending of the new Star Trek or didn't like the cut of Tom Hanks' jib in Angels and Demons. Oh, or he couldn't stand another second of cheese from Jamie Foxx's career, then saw the Soloist.

But no, we here at The Juice are above that.