Jimmy Buffett Writes the Worst Team Song Ever

Why don't we get drunk and...stop writing horrible songs?

The Miami Dolphins announced today that Dolphins Satdium will henceforth be known as LandShark Stadium. We won't even get into the fact that the Marlins and the Dolphins play in that stadium, and Sharks eat both of those animals. (I bet if the Dolphins are 0-7 at home, they'll change the name before game eight.)

Bob Norman had a great post yesterday.

The name comes from Land Shark Lager, brewed by Margaritaville, which of course is part of the enormous Jimmy Buffett empire. To announce the name switch, Buffett showed up at Pro Player Dolphins Coors LandShark Stadium.

More importantly, the team unveiled the lyrics to their new song, FINS, written by Buffett.

They include:

"In the warm South Florida sun
The tailgate's down so gather round
For some pre-game LandShark fun."

Here's video of Buffett playing live for Dolphins corporate folks today. The rest of the lyrics after the jump.

Purely cringe-worthy. Note the beautifully written "shut off our cell phones":

We drive down on Interstate 95
And up on U.S. 1
It's game day in Miami town
Where the Dolphins are Number 1 (numero uno)
We play down by the ocean
In the warm South Florida sun
The tailgate's down so gather round
For some pre-game LandShark fun.

Chorus
Can't you feel us circlin' Dolphfans
Can't you feel us schoolin' around?
We got fins to the left, fins to the right,
We're at the only game in town
Oh Oh Oh Oh
We got fins to the left, fins to the right,
It's the only game in town

From Lauderdale and Boca
Palm Beaches and the Florida Keys
It's a game day mass migration
High fives fill the breeze
Kick off time's approaching
We gotta shut off our cell phones
And get our arms up in the air
We are entering the "FinZone"

Chorus
Can't you feel us circlin' Dolphfans
Can't you feel us swimmin' around?
We got fins to the left, fins to the right,
We're at the only game in town
Oh Oh Oh Oh
We got fins to the left, fins to the right,
It's the only game in town

originally written by Jimmy Buffett, Barry Chance,
Deborah McColl and Tom Corcoran
NEW LYRICS BY JIMMY BUFFETT
(c) 2009 Coral Reefer Music & Cane Garden Music.