Huizenga Unzips Finally, Lauderdale's New Mayor Promises Sweet St. Patty's Day

After selling the Dolphins, H. Wayne zipped it.

The Sun-Sentinel's dead tree edition today featured what I believe is a life-size photo of H. Wayne Huizenga, along with a big-ass interview with the tycoon. The article begins with this sentence:

Speaking for the first time since selling the Miami Dolphins, billionaire H. Wayne Huizenga on Tuesday reflected on leaving behind nearly two decades of sports ownership that brought South Florida into the major leagues.

It was news to me that H. Wayne had given up speaking since selling the Dolphins, but it totally explains why the guy never returns my phone calls. It's also remarkable that he can own literally all of South Florida but still give up verbal communications. Taking inspiration from H. Wayne, I've sworn off typing the letter "n" from ow o.

After the jump, I give up on giving up on the letter "n" and look forward to a fountain of beer on St. Patty's day with Fort Lauderdale's new mayor.

New Mayor Promises Food Coloring for Everyone

Fort Lauderdale voters have elected a new mayor, state lawmaker and lawyer Jack Seiler. He'll take office on St. Patrick's Day, and as one of his first acts, Seiler promised to dump a whole bunch of food coloring into the New River.

"For an Irish Catholic kid, it ain't a bad day to take office. We might have to turn that river green in Fort Lauderdale."

If there's one thing I can respect about a politician, it's prioritizing the celebration of a drunk-fest holiday. But somebody should probably tell Seiler that the New River is already green. If I may suggest, Mayor Jack, let's instead have green beer flow from the H. Wayne Huizenga Spirit of Fort Lauderdale Fountain. If you want to call the billionaire and ask if that's OK, I hear he's talking again.

West Palm's Affordable Eyesore Demolished

Developers in West Palm Beach are finally tearing down a building that was wrecked by the hurricanes in 2004. Neighbors along Flagler Drive called the place an eyesore, but others, including me, called it the Only Flagler Drive Building I Could Afford.