Morning Juice: Avoiding IRS is Actually a Crime, Lois Frankel Tells Us to Go to Work
Categories: Morning Juice
Prosecutors: Swiss Banker Tried to Screw IRS. Us: Is That Wrong?
Federal prosecutors in Fort Lauderdale have charged a Swiss banker with helping 20,000 Americans hide assets from the IRS. A judge signed an order yesterday declaring that former UBS AG executive Raoul Weil is a fugitive from justice. Now if you're like me, you might be asking yourself right now: Isn't hiding assets from the IRS what, in April, we call filing our taxes? That's essentially what his attorney said in this statement:
We've all been there, Mr. Weil. Luckily I've avoided an IRS audit, despite those "children" who are my "dependents" and who "don't exist." Oh shit, I'd better make sure no IRS auditors are reading this. I'm assuming their computers prevent employees from reading blogs with nasty words, so here goes: porn, white power, Krystal hamburger, H. Wayne Huizenga, Facebook, Lois Frankel.
Speaking of Lois Frankel, after the jump, she tells us all that our laziness is what's wrong with the economy.
Mayor Wants You to Ignore Hangover, Go to Work
West Palm Mayor Lois Frankel said in this state-of-the-city address that everything's going to be ok -- as long as we work crazy hard. Here's an excerpt:
What the deuce, Lois? Why do I need to work harder to make sure we're moving forward? Rolling into work late and leaving for happy hour just before lunch is an American birthright, brought to Florida by entrepreneurs like Henry Flagler and H. Wayne Huizenga. If me sleeping off a hangover on a Tuesday means we can't move forward, then, well, it looks like this recession's sticking around. I'll see you for cocktails at E.R. Bradley's, Frankel. Say 10:30?
-- Eric Barton
Federal prosecutors in Fort Lauderdale have charged a Swiss banker with helping 20,000 Americans hide assets from the IRS. A judge signed an order yesterday declaring that former UBS AG executive Raoul Weil is a fugitive from justice. Now if you're like me, you might be asking yourself right now: Isn't hiding assets from the IRS what, in April, we call filing our taxes? That's essentially what his attorney said in this statement:"Mr. Weil is a highly respected banking executive in Switzerland with an unblemished record for integrity."
We've all been there, Mr. Weil. Luckily I've avoided an IRS audit, despite those "children" who are my "dependents" and who "don't exist." Oh shit, I'd better make sure no IRS auditors are reading this. I'm assuming their computers prevent employees from reading blogs with nasty words, so here goes: porn, white power, Krystal hamburger, H. Wayne Huizenga, Facebook, Lois Frankel.
Speaking of Lois Frankel, after the jump, she tells us all that our laziness is what's wrong with the economy.
Mayor Wants You to Ignore Hangover, Go to Work
West Palm Mayor Lois Frankel said in this state-of-the-city address that everything's going to be ok -- as long as we work crazy hard. Here's an excerpt:
"It will take all of us, working harder, willing to sacrifice where necessary and working together in order to keep our city moving forward."
What the deuce, Lois? Why do I need to work harder to make sure we're moving forward? Rolling into work late and leaving for happy hour just before lunch is an American birthright, brought to Florida by entrepreneurs like Henry Flagler and H. Wayne Huizenga. If me sleeping off a hangover on a Tuesday means we can't move forward, then, well, it looks like this recession's sticking around. I'll see you for cocktails at E.R. Bradley's, Frankel. Say 10:30?
-- Eric Barton
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