Rudy Giuliani Will Be on Time for His Inauguration Jan. 20

On the New Times newsroom's Wall o' Deviance, beneath photographs of long-gone staffers cavorting with strippers, you will find the red-white-and-blue 2008 calendar of Rudy Giuliani, which he modestly called "Countdown to Victory." The calendar warns of a slow march toward a dystopian American future in which 9/11 replaces Christmas as the nation's great holiday and Rudy is the baby in the manger.

In February 2008, Borders bookstore charged New Times staff writer Michael J. Mooney, exactly 50 cents, plus tax, for this instant kitsch classic. Mooney then submitted his receipt as a reporting expense.

To this day, the calendar remains a sad monument to grandiose delusion, except on those occasions -- like a few moments ago -- when we turn the page to discover some terrifying utterance. After the jump, the final page of the Countdown to Victory calendar, if you dare.