There Will Be Blood: Jean Robb to Run for Deerfield Beach Mayor

In Deerfield Beach, they don't do Democrats and Republicans. Rather, you've got the Indicted Party, which nominated Al Capellini, who resigned as mayor last month after corruption charges were filed against him. And you've got the Nearly Indicted Party, which recently chose Jean Robb as its nominee.

Robb was mayor from 1980 - 93, when Capellini beat her in a hotly contested four-candidate race.

This woman had pissed off so many people that someone actually reported her for violating the Florida Sunshine Law after she attended a meeting in October 1992 to hear businessowners on Southwest 1st Avenue grumble about illegal dumping and poor drainage. (Ultimately, Robb was cleared and her legal bills were paid by the city.)

In 1993 a rival accused Robb of calling elderly residents "'old buzzards' and an expletive," according to the Sun-Sentinel. I love trying to guess the swear word, and this one is particularly tough. Was it "fucking old buzzards"? Or was it "old buzzards and bastards"? Either way, it's awesome, especially since Robb was, at 61 years old, nearing old buzzard territory herself. She's now 77, if my math's correct, which may actually be post-buzzard. Also, post-battle axe. What's older than that? Sequoia?

Former City Manager Barry Evans -- who occupied the top spot on Robb's shitlist for the better part of a decade -- once accused the mayor of being such a detail dictator that she demanded city staff order a particular kind of toilet seat for city hall.

In August 1997, after being relegated to civilian status, Robb was investigated by the Broward Sheriff's Office for having snuck into city hall 90 minutes before it was open so that she could go rifling through files in the clerk's office, behavior that the new city manager, Larry Deetjen, deemed "inappropriate and unethical," according to the Sun-Sentinel.

Have you heard enough? Me, too. Jean Robb, how soon can you start?

-- Thomas Francis