How A Vagrant's Saliva Brings A Tear To The Eye

Joe the Plumber is over. America needs a new working class hero. Meet Joe the Vagrant, the deranged man who expectorates with uncanny accuracy and astute political judgment. This morning, as lobbyist Ron Book left the Broward Government Center, fresh from shepherding an embattled, ill-conceived development through the county commission, Joe the Vagrant's loogy hit him square in the eye.

If you don't know Book, carve away a half-hour and sit down with this New Times classic, by Jim DeFede. Or just read the following three-word summary: Book is sleazy.

So far we don't have a name or photo of Joe the Vagrant, though we will pray that it emerges during the next news cycle. It may be too much to hope that a security camera caught Joey V chasing Book onto the traffic median on West Broward Boulevard. Shouldn't a "super-lobbyist" like Book have been able to charm this transient into submission? Or do his Svengali talents work only on pols?

It's a great relief that Book was whisked away to an emergency room so he could be treated for proletariatitis, a malady that strikes aristocrats after physical contact with a person making less than six figures. At Broward Medical Center, Book could be comforted by familiar faces -- after all he's the lobbyist for the South Broward Hospital District.

But the episode may have far-reaching effects on Book's health as an influence peddler. Turns out he wasn't registered to lobby for the developer he had just finished, um... lobbying for. Check out the comments section to see Browardians drunk with schadenfreude.

-- Thomas Francis