I-95's Grey Poupon Lanes, Developers Ignore Pesky Economy, Gates Gets Pie in Face

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If you're like me and part of the bourgeoisie, you're also excited about the opening Friday morning of the I-95 pay express lanes. Because now we don't have to travel among the simpleton commuters -- we've got our own lane, H. Wayne Huizenga! For anywhere from a quarter to $6.20, you can zip past the suckers. I count myself among the elite mostly because I've been paying this fee for some time already. An official with the DOT -- I haven't caught his name yet -- collects it from me every morning at the I-95 and Broward Boulevard off-ramp. At least with this new collection method my car won't smell like J├Ągermeister.

After the jump, find out whether you deserve to wear the following patch on your jean jacket.

Please Hold the Recession

Fort Lauderdale commissioners approved plans yesterday for a developer to tear down the Landmark Bank building, the city's first skyscraper, and build a mega-development that includes a hotel, residential space, commercial offices, a private airstrip, and the world's largest cooler of Cristal. Now, sure, we're all wondering how to pay that February 2007 mortgage payment, but if you travel in the I-95 express lane, you can still roll with those who have enough money to tear down a perfectly good building for a bigger one. Just don't ask them to pass condiments through their window.

Cue That Weird X-Files Theme

There's a ceremony planned Friday to remember the Lost Patrol -- the bomber that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle in 1945 and was the inspiration for 47 episodes of the X-Files. Now I can just hear you commoners dismissing this as a problem of us elitists and our fancy airplanes. But I'm betting that a group of people gathering at 2 p.m. on a Friday to remember the first lost Bermuda Triangle plane will not include H. Wayne Huizenga.

Reenactment of the Day

A guy in Indiantown, Florida, is facing battery charges after allegedly hitting his girlfriend in the face with a hot sweet potato pie. Police say he didn't like the Thanksgiving food they were about to eat. For this reenactment, Bill Gates has agreed to play the girlfriend.

-- Eric Barton
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