Crist's Wedding Dress, the GOP's KKK Problem, and the Dunkin' Badass

Crist Buys Wedding Dress, Won't Be One Wearing It

If you're the type of person who laughs at the sight of a beard-wedding dress combination, you'll appreciate the news that Charlie Crist's fiancee recently bought herself a wedding gown. I say this not because the accusations that Carole Rome is Crist's beard-bride but simply because my Google Image Search skills totally suck. While I meant to find a woman wearing a similar silk dress made by a Spanish designer, what I got instead was a guy in a dress. Which is absolutely not what Crist would rather. For proof of that, check out Charlie's taxpayer-funded website, which shows Crist doing manly activities including cheering on rockets.

Now some might complain that it's not a good use of taxpayer money. But I for one appreciate that the court costs I recently paid to settle that petty shoplifting charge have helped prove Crist's fitness for heterosexual marriage.

After the jump, Republicans really shed that Party of Lincoln thing.

The Chair Recognizes the Man in the Hood

Palm Beach County Republicans haven't been as worried about men in dresses these days, mostly because they've got a KKK problem.

If you haven't been following the whole Derek Black thing, the short version is that GOP voters elected a guy with white supremacist ties to Palm Beach County's Republican Executive Committee. Party leaders, trying to show that they do have black friends, say they won't let Derek participate because he never signed a loyalty oath to the party. Funny story, though. Neither did a whole bunch of other Executive Committee newcomers.

Former KKK grand wizard David Duke is now involved, and he even posted this rambling message in support of poor Derek. Duke finally clears up that whole white supremacist label by writing:

What we are would be far more accurately and fairly described as "White civil rights activists," or simply "White activists."

Okay, so now I've got to correct that line from above. What I should've said is that GOP voters elected a dickwad.

If it Bleeds, It Drinks Coffee

Police released the video in the Dunkin' Donuts robbery and shooting from Thanksgiving eve. The actions of the robbers were obviously gruesome, but the real meat of that story? The guy who got shot, drove home, realized he was injured, and then drove himself to the hospital. Police haven't released that video, but below is a virtual reenactment. Arnold is playing the victim, the Predator is the robber, and the all-concealing mud is the highly caffeinated coffee that surely allowed this guy to drive himself all over town with a shotgun injury.

-- Eric Barton