An art teacher shot herself in front of Largo Middle School last week, leaving a 4-page suicide note that lambasted the principal.

Wage slaves are hurting everywhere, but it's really, really bad in the schools. For every Linda Joy Taylor, there are countless teachers dealing with their depression in a less dramatic, slightly more bearable way. This was a group largely demoralized even when the economy was riding high. Now, in addition to being asked to drill their students in preparation for standardized tests, teachers are getting laid off. The remaining tackle bigger, more unruly classes -- and get frozen wages for their trouble.

Barack's New Year's Resolutions:
1) Fix the economy
2) Fix the schools
3) Fix everything else

-- Thomas Francis

John de Groot supplies a quote regarding the conflict between Jews and Arabs and challenges Pulp readers to guess who uttered the words.

--------------------------------------

The Jews and the Arabs have been doing violence to each other for most of my life.

Just as generations of the world's anguished by-standers have continued to call for peace in the Middle East. 

Not that it matters that much to the dead.

Irony is, it's been nearly a half century of violence and bloodshed since one leader gave context to the endless horror:

"Why should the Arabs make peace? If I was an Arab leader, I would never make peace with Israel . We have taken their country. Sure, God promised it to us, but what does that matter to them? Our God is not theirs. We (the Jews)  come from Israel , it's true, but two thousand years ago and what is that to them  (the Arabs)? There has been anti-Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz , but that was not their (the Arabs) fault. They only see one thing: we have come here and stolen their country. Why should they accept that?"

The name of the man who said it comes after the jump.  

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On that weekend in October when the Baltimore Ravens were in town to play the Dolphins, purple jerseys mobbed Fort Lauderdale Beach. I encountered about 100 fans boarding buses at the Yankee Clipper the morning of that game. There was no mistaking the ruddy faces and rowdy moods: These Ravens fans were wasted.

And good for them. They won that game 27-13, cheering their Ravens loudly enough to neutralize the Fins' home-field advantage. It's one of the few newly created franchises in all of sports that immediately attracted a rabid fan following and that has sustained it in the years since.

Now the Ravens are coming to town again, and this being the Dolphins' first playoff appearance in nine years, the stakes are considerably higher. For Ravens fanatics, it's a chance not just to see their team in the post-season; it's a tantalizing break from the Baltimore winter. (Ray Lewis won't even need to bring his fur, pictured above.)

Alas, Baltimoreans have been greeted by inhospitable airline fares of  $500 to $1,000. After all, Miami's a New Year's Eve destination, there's an Orange Bowl, and we're nearing prime time for tourists. That means that cash-strapped Ravens fans will either stay home or blow their last remaining bucks on our local merchants. Pregame edge: Fins.

-- Thomas Francis 

^{Imagine a poster like this hanging in Jim Naugle's old office.}

Here at New Times, we're porn-positive. (I mean, have you seen what lurks in our back pages?) In this Age of Tolerance, it's high time that a big, Democratic city like Fort Lauderdale have a candidate who's open and unashamed of his prurient interests.

At least we think Earl Rynerson is open about it. He has declared his candidacy for mayor of Fort Lauderdale despite the possibility -- nay, the certainty -- that someone would check out his local legal history. (That would be me -- and apparently Buddy Nevins, the former Sun-Sentinel political columnist.) After all, this is South Florida politics, a contact sport.

For Rynerson that legal history consists of two civil cases involving collection of credit card debt. The public record in the most recent case, filed in 2007, contains several months' worth of credit card transactions. Here's one, from a statement dated 1/31/04. (Click here to enlarge.)



^{For those who want to talk about The Issues in Fort Lauderdale, please stay tuned for future posts about The Issues. For those who are curious about the entirely legal and perfectly healthy pornographic interests of the man who would be their mayor, an informative  judgment-free zone awaits on the other side of the jump.}
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The big story today is that justice appears to have caught up to the driver of the truck that killed wheelchair-bound Kenneth Scotto Sunday night in Dania Beach. The Bad Samaritan's name is Hugo Daniel Detteren and this is the truck model.



But fate was unkind to a Good Samaritan, too. Former Fort Lauderdale City Commissioner Tim Smith says that he tossed aside his bike to render aid to a couple drivers who'd collided on Sunrise Boulevard. Since the drivers did not need Smith's life-saving skills, he returned to his bike, only to discover it had been stolen.

Fortunately for the ex-commish, I got a good luck at the suspect, as did my cell phone camera. Sorry that it only shoots in grainy B/W. I added a musical score for dramatic effect.



Man, looks like businesses along Sunrise Boulevard are doing worse than I thought!

Unquestionably, however, the day's biggest metaphor is what Obama volunteers called the "Yes We Can Cruise," now on the verge of becoming the "Maybe We Can Hitchhike." A ship that was to leave from Port Everglades next month and bring the incoming presidents' most devoted Floridians to the inauguration has struggled to sell tickets.

Ugh, this economy! When 2008 began, it seemed like we were all mingling at a fancy dinner party in our most elegant clothes, aboard a luxury vessel. And then came a wave. Barack Obama, will you be our Ernest Borgnine?



-- Thomas Francis

All three major TV networks have stopped sending full-time correspondents to Iraq, so if you want any information about what's going on in the Middle East, you better go seek it out yourself.   

The New York Times still delivers compelling coverage -- including blog posts from its Iraqi employees; photos and videos; and a really cool series called Generation Faithful, about what it's like to grow up, go to school, chase girls, etc, in various countries in the Middle East.  I also read the book Imperial Life in the Emerald City which inspired me to look up homemade videos on You Tube that show helicopters making spiral descents into Iraqi airports to avoid missiles and mortar fire, or the perilous drive down the deadliest road in Baghdad, plus off-duty soldiers chilling in the pool at "Camp Liberty."

But that coverage is the exception, which is why I was surprised and proud that one newspaper told the life story of my own relative who was killed in Iraq.

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Iconic Fort Lauderdale gift shop operator Jerry Miles (posing pugilistic above) has lost the battle to stay at 721 E. Broward Blvd. We wrote about Miles' fight to prove the validity of his business lease in this April story. 

After a trial starring an elderly woman on the verge of a stroke, a doped man in a wheelchair, and a young woman with a revenge motive -- Judge Thomas Lynch ruled in favor of landlord Valerie Lyons. Miles is crushed. But with legal bills approaching six figures, he has decided not to appeal. Here's the declaratory judgment proposed by Jerry Miles' attorney. 

"I've been trying to rationalize it in my head that it's a divorce, or sending a child to college," says Miles. "I mean, $70,000 (in legal fees)!"

If only it were that simple. After the jump, Miles sifts through the debris.

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100,000 is one of those magic numbers. It's the summit of a classic Eighties game show. It's a milestone that reminds you to get that car tuned up. And if you're a state whose prison population has just reached that number, it means you're running out of room in the Big House, which in Florida's case means it's time to throw extra inmates into tents.

A camping we will go! A camping we... well... actually, there will be no campfires -- not unless something goes horribly, horribly wrong. Rather, the tents are a bit more like the one pictured below.



Mind you there won't be any noxious chemicals -- at least not on purpose. But come summer time, these will be sweat lodges. And by using tents to house inmates, Florida now has something in common with one of the nation's most infamous law enforcement ogres, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who rules with an iron fist over Phoenix's Maricopa County.

Florida's incarcerated hordes had better hope the comparisons end here. Arpaio's a big believer in humiliation therapy. On that basis, he's made inmates where pink underwear and steered them toward Coolhand Luke-style chain gangs. For a cautionary tale, watch the video below, showing Maricopa County inmates in striped jumpsuits making their way between prison tents and the chain gang. Is this the future of Florida justice?




-- Thomas Francis

Outgoing Sunrise Mayor Steven Feren continues to embarrass himself and his city.

On Christmas Eve, he contacted his fellow commissioners, via email from commission secretary Terry Soto, to ask them to hold a special meeting tonight to give him an extra $150 a month for the rest of his life.  

To sweeten the deal, he wants to give the commission raises that would be retroactive for a year. You know, turn it into a backscratch-fest at the taxpayers' expense. Of course, he'd get that retroactive raise, too. Here's one of Soto's emails:

From: Soto, Terry
Sent: Wed 12/24/2008 11:46 AM
To: [Commissioner] 

Subject: Are you available...

Mayor Feren wants to  know if you would be available Tuesday, 12/30/08?  He might be calling a Special Meeting for two items. 

Increase for Management/Supervisory from $200.00 to $350.00 a month

and

Raises for Commission retro to January '08.
...

Terry Soto
Secretary to City Commission
City of Sunrise
10770 West Oakland Park Blvd.
Sunrise, Florida 33351
Phone: (954) 746-3250
Fax: (954) 746-3243

Get it? He's saying: Hey if you get me mine I'll help get you yours, too. Thankfully, the other commissioners didn't bite and city staff inform me that the dais will be empty tonight, as it should be over the holidays.

Feren's showing all the class of a wormy dog here. But it wouldn't be so bad if he was leaving public office forever. No,we're not so lucky: Feren is leaving office in Sunrise to become a Broward County Circuit Court judge. These last-minute antics to hit up taxpayers for more dough -- above his city pension and $145,000 judge's salary -- say all that needs to be said about the future character of his bench.

Pro Bowl Comes to South Florida, Possibly Kindling Gay Affair

South Florida will host the NFL's Pro Bowl in 2010 and may also become home of the Gay Games. Somehow, inexplicably, these two stories haven't been linked by other media outlets. But it's clear to see that the Pro Bowl could stand as the championship game in a week of Gay Games activities, where the, I don't know, gayest football players get to go on to play in the Pro Bowl. While I'm dreaming here, I'll even add a sponsor to help this happen: The gayest players get to play in the Gay Games Pro Bowl brought to you by Bottoms & Tops.

What follows here is a quote I've totally made up from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in which he makes several "tight end" and "up the middle" comments that sound totally gay. "I refuse to make jokes that sound totally gay, including ones about tight ends or running up the middle," Goodell said at a press conference yesterday that I totally imagined. Oh, well. It seems football officials won't acknowledge just how gay the sport is, even in a fake quote.

After the jump, Riviera Beach comes out of the closet with a little problem the city faces.

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