Dear Bob
It has always been the best of times and the worst of times in a kind of crazy existential way, if you know what I mean.
And this is certainly the case with the Sun-Sentinel playing Jason Taylor's dancing ability as etc electronic lead story of the moment.
But what the hell.
The other day on the internet I came upon a video of an very attractive woman engaged in frantic sex with the active hose of her humming Hoover vacuum cleaner.
Naturally, I found the visual -- like Jason Taylor dancing on network television -- to be (dare I say) of interest.
Like of the 6.6 billion people living on this tiny planet lost in the great void of the universe, how many have found it necessary to fuck a floor model vacuum cleaner -- which is, I believe, a fair question media-wise?
Like is she the only one?
Or are there more.
Like maybe dozens, or hundreds, or....?
And if so, are they all doing it with Hoover vacuums?
Or do other machines generate as much pleasure as a floor model hoover?
Clearly, like you, I find much about the modern media that leaves me thirsting for some kind of logic and meaning.
Oh yes.
Sorry to hear about your editor leaving town.
However, as an old reporter pal once said betweens shots of bar whiskey and POC beer, "A good bowel movement beats a good editor every time."
Oh yes.
Sorry to hear you're sick.
Hope you'll soon feel well.
But in the meantime, please enter "Love My Hoover" in the search box on YOUPORN to catch the latest news without-meaning.
Or, as the late Marshall McLuhan once put it, "The media is the massage." Or was it "message?"

Was the woman a certain Broward Circuit Judge?

Any comments Pulp?

No.
I do not believe the Hoover Lover is a certain Broward Circuit Judge.
True, she does have dark hair and a certain Latin look.
However, I fail to find any judicial qualities in the frantic ecstasy generated by her penetrating relationship with a floor model Hoover vacuum cleaner.
Fact is, her passionate and probing encounter with the household appliance is virtually devoid of decorum.
But then, having never been to law school, I'm not certainly that well versed in appropriate juris prudence -- especially when it comes to getting off on a Hoover hose.
But why ask the poor Pulp who has problems enough with a severe cold and the pending loss of an editor.
My advice is to check it out yourself on YOUPORN.COM
Or better yet, you might want to contact the JQC about judges having sex with vacuum cleaners, etc.
Like would this require a judge to recuse herself from any case involving a household appliance with which she is (or has been) overly familiar?

Okay.
Never mind any smart ass shit about Broward judges and so on.
Because I can’t stop thinking about the video of this woman having sex with her Hoover vacuum cleaner on the internet.
Like who is she?
And why?
“Somebody paid her to do that with a vacuum cleaner,” a friend told me.
Which boggles me further.
Like what’s the going rate for doing it with a vacuum cleaner on the internet?
Five hundred? A thousand? Or more?
And how are such arrangements made?
Like was she having a coffee in a Starbucks one afternoon when this guy walks up to her and goes, “I’ll pay you $400 cash to take a video of you getting off on a vacuum cleaner for the internet.”
So how does she answer an offer like that?
“I’ll do it a grand, but not with my vacuum cleaner?”
Or what?
And who IS this woman?
What stories did her Mom read to her at bedtime? Did her grandma bake cookies? Which was her favorite: Sesame Street, or the Mousketeers?Did she have a puppy? When was her happiest birthday? And what was the name of her first doll?
Like I said, watching a naked woman getting off on a vacuum cleaner can get to you.
Especially when more than a half million people have called up her video on YOUPORN to watch her writhing in passion under the sucking spell of the hose from her Hoover.
And then, as the video fades to black, do they find themselves wondering about her first date.
Or when she got her first bra?
Or if – years ago all knobby-kneed and skinny on career day in the fifth grade with her classmates talking about being fire fighters, or doctors, or teachers when they grow up – did she raise her hand to speak of how one day, as a Big Girl, she hopes to boff a vacuum cleaner for money in front of a half-million people all over the world?
Reality in the 21st century ain’t all that easy. At least not when you actually stop and think about it.Especially if you find yourself wondering what’s going to be next on the internet once people get tired of watching women do the Big Nasty with a Hoover on their living room couch.
Because the thing of it is, Marshall McLuhan was wrong.
The media ain’t no message.
It’s a drug.
And we're junkies getting off on dancing football stars, prime time Idols and Hoover Humpers.

"Because the thing of it is, Marshall McLuhan was wrong. The media ain’t no message. It’s a drug. And we're junkies getting off on dancing football stars, prime time Idols and Hoover Humpers."

One of the best things I've seen on this blog in a long time.

Yeh.
I know media is plural.
But "the media are a drug" just doesn't scan.

My question:
Will Nan Rich's bill before the Florida Legislature seeking to ban beastiality include images of people boffing dogs, horses and chickens on the internet?
Also, might she consider a rider banning sex with household appliances in the Sunshine State?