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For those of you who want a good funny scoop you may not have seen yet, check out Todd Wright's piece on the theft of the Bobermobile. Will the intrigue of Hollywood politics never cease?

But that's not what this is about. This is about football. After an abysmal performance last week, I think I'm coming in stronger and more prepared this Sunday. Here are my Six Picks:

-- Oakland at Miami (-4)
Last week, I went with the Jets and was right (though the spread made it a push). While the Dolphins didn't look that great until the fourth quarter, key offensive players like Ronnie Brown and Trent Green had pretty good days. Not expecting much from Culpepper, either. I think they're coming off the snide, though the four points makes me a little nervous.
Pick: Miami

-- Green Bay (-1.5) at Minnesota
Gotta stick with my Packers this week. Don't really see why they shouldn't stop rolling (though Adrian Peterson might have something to say about that).
Pick: Green Bay

-- Pittsburgh (-6) at Arizona
I'm not betting against the Steelers, even if the spread has grown to six. Roethlisburger and Willie Parker are both beautiful this year and I don't believe they're going to lose more than three games during the regular season. This won't be one of them and I think they'll be able to outdistance the Cards by at least a touchdown.
Pick: Pittsburgh

-- Kansas City at San Diego (-11.5)
San Diego will win this game, but the Chiefs have a knack for steering clear of the blowout. I'm looking for them to beat the spread.
Pick: K.C.

-- Philadelphia (-3) at N.Y. Giants
This one is tough to call, and that's a big reason that I gotta go with the Giants at home with the points. Though there was a lot of luck (damn luck!) in their victory over the Redskins last week, this is a team that could get on a roll. Depends on which Philly shows up though.
Pick: Giants

-- New England (-7) at Cincinnati
Yee haw! This should be a great Monday nighter. And it's time for Carson Palmer to explode. If it was six points, though, I'd probably go the other way.
Pick: Cincinnati

Okay, everybody's heard rumors about Broward Circuit Judge Ana Gardiner's alleged courthouse romantic flings, but she's proving over and over again that she is, first and foremost, a political ho (though an honorable one, of course).

That fact was confirmed yet again when she told the Sun-Sentinel: "We have run out of courtrooms. There is not one spare courtroom. We don't even have closets."

Wrote reporter Scott Wyman: "Gardiner said the state has offered three retired judges to help cut through the backlog of cases, but she has trouble finding courtrooms for them to use."

Then in the Miami Herald: "'We do not have one spare courtroom. We don't even have closets.''

When I read those quotes, I thought, "What the flying fuck is this crazy [chief administrative judge over the criminal division] talking about?"

I have spent a bit of time in the courthouse and know that when you get into the guts of it, what strikes you the most is the emptiness of it. There are corridors where you can hear the echo of ghost and and see tumbleweed blow by.

But I didn't write about that because, well, it was just my impression. Maybe I've been hallucinating. You never know. But then the good Bill Gelin of JAABlog did the footwork for us all. As an experiment, he walked the entire courthouse yesterday afternoon and found that 28 of the 51 courtrooms were empty as of 3:17 p.m.

So what gives? Is politics at play, or is the system so broken that even the Chief Administrative Judge for Criminal can't have empty courtrooms put at her disposal to move cases? Can't our judges pull together and work together, or is there an ongoing judicial turf war at play behind the scenes?

I just hope the taxpayers don't get soaked due to Iraq style flawed intelligence, when the money can be used for badly needed rehabilitation, diversion, and mental health services that would preclude the need for more jails, police, and judges.

Oh yeah, Bill. The fix is in, starting with Bill Scherer, who has invested heavily in land for the new courthouse, and his friends. The downtown crowd is depending on this thing and for years the judges, led by Dale Ross, have cheerleaded for it. And Gardiner? She's just doing her bit to show she's part of the team.

Read Gelin's post here -- and make sure to check out the comments.

Well, the criticism of the Sun-Sentinel seems to come in waves. Didn't see -- or feel -- it coming this time. Like the New York Times, I try hard not to make criticism the only dish I serve.

It just happens. Must be an organic reaction to reading the news around here. And this time it's not even coming from me. What follows is John DeGroot's take on the Help Team's Daniel Vasquez column about gun safety. The slam is long overdue when it comes to Smiling Dan, who really ought to be making a lot more money outside the newspaper game -- in the marketing department of Apple perhaps.

DeGroot's complaint reminds me a lot of the killer pool drains that were touted -- and distorted -- on the Sentinel's front page a while back.

When it comes to a stunning mastery of the meaningless over-hyped, few journalists can match the beamish Daniel Vasquez of the Sun-Sentinel’s fabled Help Team.

Last Sunday Daniel consumed a large hunk of the Sentinel’s Business Section with a column warning about the “dangerous combination” of kids and guns.

“What can parents do?” Daniel asked his readers.

"Safety experts say parents with guns at home need to pay particular attention to making sure their children are safe,” Daniel replied in answer to his rhetorical question.

Daniel then went on the scare the bejesus out of any non-thinking person by citing a few national statistics like, “More than 2,800 children and teenagers lost their lives to gunfire in 2003. That’s one every three hours.”

In “reporting” this, Daniel proved himself a fear-mongering Richardhead among journalists by failing to lend any meaning of context to his one-dead-kid-every-three-hours bullshit*. (*Like when is the American Journalism Review, or some Poynter Ethics Cluster Panel going to take a look at the shameless values driving this kind of journalism?)

Frankly, if there’s a journalism hell, Daniel’s ethics deserve an eternity listening to his editor’s Op-Ed Columns read aloud by their author.

How so?

In citing “more than 2,800 children and teenagers” killed by gunfire, Vasquez lumped accidental firearm deaths with homicides --- which, when it comes to gun safety and the kiddies, is a grotesque distortion of the

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The editors at the Miami Herald went off and did it. They sent reporter Casey Woods to the backwoods of Arkansas to make sure they keep owning the ghost ship story. The Sun-Sentinel is splashing it on the front page, but the stories have consistently been full of warmed-up leftovers from the day before. The Herald, meanwhile, plows forward, breaking the news that the real reason that Wal-Mart-manager- turned-bandit and suspected high seas criminal Kirby Archer fled Arkansas was because he was under investigation for sexually abusing boys.

This morning's story is full of local color from Arkansas -- including his "Yankee accent" and penchant for buying beer and hanging out with the teenage crowd after getting off work at Wal-Mart. First-class predator in a creep's clothing. Wonder if he had the boy do the dirty work on the Joe Cool.

To be fair to the S-S, the story is more Miami-based, so it's in the Herald's wheelhouse. But here's why the Sentinel is missing the boat: Everybody is following this story where the two newspapers compete in south Broward, north Dade. And a lot of people must be noticing that the Herald is kicking the Sentinel's ass, affecting reputation and brand name where it really counts. Moral of the story: If you're going to compete, fucking compete.

In case you missed it, here's a comment from below. It's a beautiful thing. I'd be sure it was a hoax (c'mon, transformative change and a Pulitzer prediction in the same paragraph?) if it weren't for the earnestness. I'm 50-50 right now as to whether it came from a real Sun-Sentinel editor:

I'm an assistant editor at the Sun-Sentinel, and I love it here. I came here from a smaller paper, and they don't hold it against me. The bosses are great, we're embarking on a new information age with our transformative change, the senior editors are very intelligent and suppportive, we're much more creative than the Palm Beach Post and the reporting staff is very talented. I would be VERY surprised it we don't win a Pulitzer Prize here very soon.

Apparently the large gay population in Broward is doing more than just having sex in public bathrooms. They're (gasp!) watching movies. Lots and lots of movies.

The most popular rental movie in the Fort Lauderdale area right now, according to Netflix, is "Boy Culture." The synopsis:

A male prostitute with the enigmatic name of X (Derek Magyar) carefully avoids personal intimacy and affection, and is only interested in sex when he's being paid for it. X maintains his stoic approach to sex and love until one of his regular customers (Patrick Bauchau) tempts him to reconsider his position by sharing a meaningful story.

Also on the short list:

-- Shock to the System (a gay detective story with "no shortage of suspects -- including Hale's homophobic mom (Morgan Fairchild) and a shady shrink (Michael Woods) who runs a clinic that tries to transform homosexuals into heterosexuals")
--The Mudge Boy (about a kid who starts dressing like his mother after her death)
-- C.R.A.Z.Y. (about a boy growing up gay in Canada)
-- Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds ("Kyle's silly attempts to prove that Troy is gay lead to a series of confusing hookups and farcical situations")
-- Another Gay Movie (where three friends " all want the same thing -- to lose their virginity -- and they'll paint the town lavender to do so")
-- Small Town Gay Bar (a documentary set in Mississippi)
-- A Love To Hide (a gay Nazi flick set in Paris)
-- Rick and Steve: Season 1 (an animated show about "the happiest gay couple in the world" living on "Lahunga Beach").

All together, seven of the Top Ten most popular flicks locally are gay as Jim Naugle's pink Polo shirts. None appear to be set around public toilets, but it's time for action nonetheless. Mayor, prepare the microphone. And somebody get Rev. Dozier on the horn, stat!

The Miami Herald breaks the news that one of the two men -- or should I say suspects -- found floating in a lifeboat by the Coast Guard yesterday is a fugitive from Arkansas.

Kirby Logan Archer was a "trusted assistant manager" at Wal-Mart before he took off with 92 grand in a microwave oven. How he wound up on the Joe Cool -- and what happened to Capt. Jake Branam, his wife, and two other crew members -- still a mystery.

What's interesting is that the Sun-Sentinel missed the Archer angle in its story this morning, yet it indirectly broke the news about the fugitive yesterday. Lester Behan, of Pompano Beach, found this website and this one and posted the links on the Sentinel's comment board.

Nice job by Behan. But somehow the Sentinel still missed this fact in its own version of the story this morning. They were outgunned by the Herald, though, which put four reporters -- Luisa Yanez, Curtis Morgan, Evan S. Benn, and Jaweed Kaleem -- on the story while the Sentinel only had one and a researcher. Obviously, the Sentinel needs more interns.

Thought you could pick up the morning Herald without having to read about old people lubing it up and banging each other like two actors from a 20-year-old movie? Think again:

We won't lie and tell you that life begins at 50, but we will you this: Many people have the best sex of their lives after 50.

Maybe it's because the kids are gone and you have all the time in the world to re-create that steamy kitchen counter scene from Fatal Attraction, not the one with the rabbit, the other, sexy one. Or maybe it's because you communicate well. She's not ashamed to tell him she needs lubricant, and he's not embarrassed to tell her he needs some physical stimulation to obtain an erection.

I don't know. Yuck.

And then there's the story on the Sun-Sentinel site about medicinal marijuana. Specifically, the question is posed: How much pot should a pot smoker smoke if a pot smoker could smoke pot? Well, one professor says a 60-day supply of 4.5 pounds should do it. Yeah, POUNDS.

"Some people are better smokers than others," the professor, Gregory T. Carter, explains.

I guess so. That's nearly an ounce and a quarter a day.

Gina Marks, aka Regina Milbourne, aka "The Miami Psychic," has squirmed her way out of trouble yet again.

You remember Marks, she's the con artist who hooked up with infamous publisher Judith Regan on a book titled "Miami Psychic." The book was as much a fraud as Marks herself, but HarperCollins has yet to pull it from the shelves.

Anyway, I wrote a few weeks ago about the Gypsy's most recent con -- the million-dollar take from millionairess/spiritualist Teresa Carlo. The Davie Police Department was all set to charge Marks with grand theft auto in that case. But after the article came out, the Gypsy's Fort Lauderdale lawyer, Jim Lewis, began negotiating a payment to Carlo in lieu of prosecution.

Det. Jeff Corms helped with the negotiations and the final offer from Marks/Lewis was $100,000. An attorney who works with Lewis delivered the $100,000 check to the Davie PD last Tuesday and Carlo took it home with her.

"I didn't sleep for several nights," says Carlo. "But I listed the pros and cons and there were three times more pros. Better to get something than nothing, right?"

I suppose so, even though Carlo is still down about million dollars. And it's really hard to believe that Marks is still out there operating -- and I hear her new name is "Zara."

Here's two ads that were just posted on Romenesko. One is for interns, the other for community news reporters, aka entry level folks. The hilarious thing is that they say they are looking for "aggressive and enterprising" reporters for the community positions. What, so they can break them of those unbecoming habits so they can happily work in Weston doing "community roundups." Ugh.

The interns will make $530 a week, which isn't horrible, but I think that's what I was paid to intern at the Cincinnati Enquirer in late 1992.

They are looking for one vet for the business section.

Hey while I'm on the Sentinel, let me take the opportunity to pimp this weekend's National Writers' Workshop, which will be held this weekend at Pier 66 in Fort Lauderdale. Hey, John Grogan will be there to tell you how you can make enough monety to get out journalism forever by writing about your dog!

[On the news front, there looks to be a mystery at sea brewing -- this could get extremely interesting.]

The Miami Herald today reports on how Mayor Jim Naugle's "anti-gay crusade" is "driving a wedge into South Florida's black community."

Reporter Peter Bailey sets the stage: It's black ministers vs. white gay dudes in a battle royale.

Who are the black ministers? O'Neal Dozier and Mathis Guice, of course. AKA the usual suspects. It's sort of like saying the white community is torn about whether slavery was actually a good idea -- and citing David Duke.

Critical Miami cuts to the core of the article's fallacy in a toute suite post this morning:

"Bullshit. The debate over gay rights drives drives a wedge between the same two groups that it always drives a wedge between — rational people and dogmatic self-righteous assholes who have nothing better to do then tell other people how to live their lives."

Amen.

Veteran Tallahassee reporter S.V. Dáte has been taken off the Florida governor's beat.

Palm Beach Post Managing Editor Bill Rose told me this afternoon that the decision was made yesterday to reassign Dáte to the legislature and other reporting tasks after the reporter's wife, Mary Beth, was recently hired as a $38,000-a-year budget analyst in the governor's Office of Policy and Budget.

Rose told the St. Pete Times last week that Dáte could keep his beat covering the governor because he wouldn't be covering the "particular office" his wife will be working in (health and human services). But he's since had a change of heart.

"There is an appearance of a conflict of interest and about the only thing we could do is have him not cover the governor's office," Rose said.

Date, who reportedly resisted the change, has been on the beat for the past 11 years, the last ten with the Palm Beach Post. Eight years of that span was spent as Jeb Bush's "least favorite reporter" in Tallahassee. He wrote a book about the experience titled Jeb. Its first line: "Jeb Bush is going to hate this book."

With Jeb out of office, Dáte has been covering Crist. Just this week he wrote about hopefuls for the Education Commissioner post and the governor's plan to change the homestead exemption. In May, the reporter traveled to Israel with Crist. He'll now be focusing on covering the legislature and presidential campaign.

To hell with the news. I'm going football today.

Last week, I bet six games and won four, a moderate success at best. This week, I'm gonna pick six games, based on a mix of the best games and what I think are sure winners. Take my lead at your peril.

Here they are:

1. San Diego (-5) at Green Bay
Okay, I picked the Packers to do well this year based on a feeling about Brett Favre. And I'm sticking with it. This game is going to be a good one -- and God knows S.D. is due for a win. But I believe the five points given to the Pack is gonna be enough.
Pick: Green Bay

2. Buffalo at New England (-16.5)
New England is going to win, but not that big. Tom Brady came out fire-up and looking to prove something last week fresh off spygate rocked the Pats and his beloved Bellichick. He's a little banged up and ready for a cool-down. The Bills may not be very good, but I believe they'll hang within two TDs.
Pick: Buffalo

3. Miami at Jets (-3)
I don't like betting against the Dolphins, especially when they're playing the Jets, but dammit, they're in disarray. I can't in good faith put my money on them this week. That said, the defense, even without Zach Thomas, is due to make some big plays. Hope I'm wrong on this one.
Pick: Jets

4. Giants at Washington (-3.5)
Jason Campbell showed me something I didn't expect against to beat Philly last week. Dude's got star potential. The Giants have sucked so far. This is going to be a close game, which makes me want to lean toward NY and the points. But I'm going to resist that.
Pick: Washington

5. Dallas at Chicago (-3)
Two top-notch teams going at it here, but the Chicago defense is gonna make Romo and his O wish they were somewhere else, anywhere else on Sunday night. Even with the erratic and sometimes insufferable Grossman, Chi will put up enough points up to cover.
Pick: Chicago

6. Tennessee (-4) at New Orleans.
One of my good picks last week was Tampa Bay over the Saints (the Jeff Garcia effect, baby). This week Brees and Bush are going to finally have some fun and get off the schneid.
Pick: New Orleans

You may have already seen this, but it just popped up in the Pulp email from a progressive watchdog group Media Matters:

Washington, D.C. – Media Matters for America today released Florida data for its new report “Black and White and Re(a)d All Over: The Conservative Advantage in Syndicated Op-Ed Columns,” a comprehensive and unprecedented analysis of nationally syndicated columnists from nearly 1,400 newspapers, or 96 percent of English-language U.S. daily newspapers.

Because of the time, labor, and difficulty involved in gathering such a wide scope of detailed information about America’s newspapers, no one has ever before determined exactly where syndicated columnists are published. The report shows that conservative syndicated columnists are carried in far more newspapers, with much greater audience reach than their progressive counterparts, giving them a distinct advantage in the marketplace of ideas.

Florida: Key Findings

-- Conservative Syndicated Columnists Dominate Florida Daily Newspapers Each Week
Conservative syndicated columnists appear a total of 121 times per week in Florida newspapers. Centrist columnists appear a total of 40 times, while progressive columnists appear a total of 75 times.

-- Conservative Syndicated Columnists Reach Florida Readers Nearly Four Million More Times Each Week Than Progressives
Nationally syndicated conservative columnists account for 49 percent of the column impressions in Florida each week, while nationally syndicated progressive columnists account for only 32 percent. Those conservative columnists reach Florida readers 3,917,837 more times each week than their progressive counterparts.

Nationwide: Key Findings

-- Conservative Syndicated Columnists Dominate Daily Newspapers
Sixty percent of the nation’s newspapers print more conservative syndicated columnists every week than progressive syndicated columnists. Only 20 percent run more progressives than conservatives, while the remaining 20 percent are evenly balanced.

-- Conservative Syndicated Columnists Reach Millions More Than Progressives
In a given week, nationally syndicated conservative columnists are published in more than 153 million newspapers. Progressive columnists, on the other hand, are published in 125 million newspapers.

-- Top Syndicated Columnists Are Mostly Conservative
The list of the top 10 columnists, sorted by the number of papers in which they are carried or by the total circulation of the papers in which they are published, includes five conservatives, two centrists, and only three progressives.

-- In Region After Region, Conservative Syndicated Columnists Enjoy Advantage
In eight of the nine regions into which the U.S. Census divides the country, conservative syndicated columnists reach more readers than progressive syndicated columnists in any given week. Only in the Middle Atlantic region (which includes New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania) do progressive columnists reach more readers each week.

You can see the full report here.