Mayo, Euthenasia, and DeGroot

Michael Mayo's offering this morning was righteous. Somebody needed to say that it's a horrible idea to have rich lanes and poor lanes on our highways. Whoever came up with this idea should be publicly flogged. It's Un-fucking-American. Didn't we dump the royalty thing 230 years ago? Recently when my family made the state-mandated trip to Orlando World, I saw the same type thing. When you go to Universal, you can pay an extra 20 bucks per ticket to get in the fast lines for the rides. I confess to paying the money (and it was worth it), but it felt so damn wrong. Disney's system, where you delay your ride to get into the express line, is more egalitarian. The thing is -- don't the poor already have enough disadvantages? They can't get decent health care, they live hand to mouth, and now they have to drive in slower lanes? Why not just dump them in the ocean and have it done?

Also from the Sentinel, did you see this about the chronically ill old man who shot his wife in the Cleveland Clinic in Weston and then shot himself? You may not favor assisted-suicide, but it's either that or the same-old same-old -- which in this case are weekly horror shows involving senior citizens blowing their brains out, jumping out of high-rise condo windows, and drinking poison. Here's a little ditty I wrote about another case like this a while back.

After the Jump: DeGroot's Questions For The Governor

What follows is another installment from John DeGroot, this time regarding the Sentinel's lame "Ask The Governor" bit. What follows are DeGroot's suggested questions. Enjoy.

Okay. So I can be bitchy. But I totally loath the photo of Charlie Crist the Sun-Sentinel is using with its “Ask the Governor” Q & A on 1-A every Friday.

Please.

It makes our Governor look like he has a horrid case of hemorrhoids.

I mean, OUCH!

And the questions they ask!

Like who cares about PIP auto insurance?

Doesn’t matter how many laws you pass requiring auto insurance in Florida.

I mean, how many Third World drivers do you know who buy more than one day’s worth of car insurance after they renew their Florida auto tags?

Anyhow…

Once again, I’m driven to saddle up and ride to the rescue in my on-going jirhad to Save Our Sun-Sentinel (SOSS) from itself – this time with a Baker’s Dozen of Questions real readers might like to Ask the Governor like:

1. God knows what Jeb Bush did to the Governor’s Mansion. Do you have plans for a make-over?

2. You vetoed funding for a Gospel Museum in Fort Lauderdale. So what about tax dollars for Broadway Musical Museum on South Beach?

3. How many tank tops do you own?

4. What’s your favorite color?

5. How do you feel about Streisand’s 1976 remake of Judy’s 1995 “A Star is Born?”

6. What Judy films do you have in your DVD library? Please rate them on a scale of one to ten:
The Clock, For Me and My Gal, The Harvey Girls, I Could Go on Singing, In the Good Old Summertime, Love Finds Andy Hardy. Meet Me in St. Louis, Pigskin Parade, The Pirate, Presenting Lilly Mars, Till the Clouds Roll By, The Wizard of Oz, Ziegfeld Girl

7. What Bette films do you have in your DVD library? Please rate them on a scale of one to ten: Beaches, Big Business, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Driving Mona, Get Bruce, Gypsy, The First Wives Club, For the Boys, Hocus Pocus, Isn’t She Great?, Jinxed, Oliver & Company (animated), Outrageous Fortune, Ruthless People, Stella, The Stepford Wives, That Old Feeling, What Women Want

8. Of the two, which film is your favorite: The Birdcage of La Cage aux Folles? Why?

9. Let’s say it’s two in the morning and your all alone after a perfectly horrid day with the Florida Legislature. So which song are you most likely to play while sipping your favorite settle-me-down?

The Impossible Dream
The Man that Got Away
One More for My Baby
Send in the Clowns
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
There’s a Place for Us
Tomorrow
You’ll Never Walk Alone
Other

10. Everyone has their All-Time Dream Tea Dance Guest. Pick your Fave Dozen from below.
Richard Beymer, Mathew Broderick, Truman Capote, George Chikaris, Monty Clift, James Dean, Richard Gere, Lenny DiCaprio, Jake Gyllenhaal, George Hamilton, Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Carson Kressley, Nathan Lane, Heath Ledger, Paul Lynde, Barry Manilow, Johnny Mathis, Michelangelo, Sal Mineo, Larry Olivier, Peter O’Toole, Cole Porter, Russ Tamblyn, Stephen Sondheim, Andy Warhol, Oscar Wilde, Tennessee Williams

11. How do you respond to lobbyists who mix dark brown with dark blue?

12. Underneath it all, which do you most like to wear:
Jockey shorts
Boxer shorts
Thongs (check one: leather, vinyl, fur, or whatever)
Mind your own beeswax!

13. Is Ron Book Bitch or Butch?


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