Oh ... My ... God ...

Now If We Can Only Clone Him

Editor & Publisher just announced that Earl Maucker has been named its Editor of the Year. Maucker was named, according to an E&P press release, "for his leadership role in growing the newspaper's readership and integrating marketing efforts -- while nurturing aggressive watchdog journalism that was recognized by winning three finalists spots in the 2006 Pulitzer Prizes."

So the lesson is that you:
A. Gut the paper of newshole and fill it with meaningless bells and whistles
B. Let marketing side dictate the nature of coverage
C. Pander to readers with

Help Team crap and the obsequious motto: "How Can We Help You"
D. Claim "readership" gains (forget circulation -- it's way too accountable and shows, gasp!, declines)
E. Fill the newspaper with rewritten press releases
F. Do a couple decent investigations a year (and hope for a devastating hurricane) to get a little nat'l attention and:

You can hornswaggle the bozos at E&P into giving you an award. Here's the summation from E&P:

E&P reports in its cover profile: At a time when metro daily newspaper readership is stalled if not falling, the Sun-Sentinel is growing, and converting skimmers into heavier readers, by following a simple mantra that has become its most repeated advertising message: 'Local, helpful, useful.'"

"Converting skimmers into heavy readers." That didn't just say that. Damn, and I used to respect that pub.

Says a profile of Maucker, by E & P editor-at-large Mark Fitzgerald (who obviously hasn't actually read the newspaper), will be available on the Internet later today. Can't wait.

(Via Romenesko).