And The Winner, Well ... Is

The Bush-Foley caption contest has a victor. We'll start with the third-place finisher, from Will:

-- "Now Foley, that's your problem. If you leave 'em alone, let 'em age a little more, they get a lot bigger!"

Second place is from "joker":

-- "Yeah, Markie, it used to be that tiny. Then I started the war in Iraq and ..."

And the winner is ...

well, "The Winner," an obviously confident character who submitted this entry:

You only think seven-and-a half is a lot 'cause you've never seen Condi's strap-on!

Thanks to everyone who submitted and congratulations, Winner, you lucky dog. The prize is a signed copy of my true crime book, Florida Pulp Nonfiction. All you have to do to claim your booty is e-mail the Pulp (at right) and leave an address where you want the book -- hailed by best-selling authors as a great one -- sent. If you like, I'll even reveal your true identity. Good work.