Key Largo resident Kari Dangler was so incensed that she couldn't find her vodka last week, she turned to the next best option.
A gun.
Dangler, 51, allegedly pointed that gun at the source of her anguish, her roommate, who had hidden her liquor. Clearly, the roommate was well aware of Dangler's testicular fortitude and figured everyone was better off sober.
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Deborah Tersigni, a 44-year-old Davie school teacher, has been charged with child abuse after she allegedly restrained an 8-year-old intellectually and physically handicapped student. 
She also reportedly sat on top of the students, a Broward County School Police report says.
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It looks like former Rep. and Forever CommieNazi Hunter Colonel Allen West won't rule out running against Marco Rubio in the GOP primaries in 2016. 
Yes, 2016 is three years away. And yes, that's a long time and anything can happen and, oh yea, Obama is still president.
But, that won't stop us mediafolk from talking about the next president of the United States because, MEDIAFOLK.
But mainly, West vs. Rubio?
BY JOVE THIS IS A THING THAT MUST HAPPEN.
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Police are confirming that two people were found dead early Wednesday morning inside the Dreyfoos School of the Arts in West Palm Beach.
(via wptv.com)
According to West Palm Beach Police, one of the people found dead was a custodian at the school.
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If you were having difficulty getting through to 911 earlier this month, you may have had an issue at the same time as Talitha Myrvil.
If you found it frustrating to get a response from authorities while you were witnessing a carjacking or attempting to prevent grown men from dropkicking women in the face, take solace. Myrvil, 29, needed assistance with a situation much more dire.
Her apartment was holding more water than a camel in a bathtub.
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Hey, Marco. We gotta talk.
We know, you're busy listening to Coldplay or some other suburban gringo music that you profess to love.
But this is serious. You've been making a lot of noise lately -- on gun control, on immigration, on the IRS -- and it's making our heads hurt. We'd just like you to stop. And, according to a Quinnipiac University poll released this morning, you're embarrassing yourself.
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Seven seconds.
The Miami Heat was seven seconds away from losing its NBA crown and watching the San Antonio Spurs celebrate a championship on its home court.
Heat fans were seven seconds away from having their hearts ripped out of their chests and their souls condemned to a weary and sullen existence, pondering the cruel fate of their beloved team.
This thing was over. Done. Kaput. The home crowd was exiting the building, the Spurs locker room was being covered in plastic for the champagne celebration, the ministage was being readied to be rolled out onto the court for the trophy presentation, yellow tape was being put out to keep nonessential personnel from walking onto the court during the Spurs coronation.
And then, it happened.
The comeback.
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A Florida man was talking on his cell phone in Orange Avenue in Orlando on Sunday when he went and allegedly punched a police horse in the rear, according to police.
The mounted cops were trying to clear the streets of pedestrians, since it was 2:45 in the morning.
See also:
-Allegedly Drunk Man on Horse Arrested After Police Chase
-A Horse Was Rescued From Someone's Backyard Pool
Apparently the man didn't like being told to get off the street, so he took his rage out on the horse's ass by punching him in the left rear flank.
The horse's name is Captain.
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Kaitlyn Hunt's attorney has asked the judge presiding over the case to remove himself. Turns out, Circuit Judge Robert Pegg set a trial date for Hunt for September. 
Kaitlyn Hunt and her father, Steve.
See also:
-Kaitlyn Hunt, Florida Teen, Arrested and Expelled From School For Gay Relationship
-Kaitlyn Hunt's Attorney Asking Judge to Limit Her Court Appearances
But Hunt's attorney, Julia Graves, filed a motion saying that her client's case is being singled out because the trial was set before more than 200 other criminal cases.
Graves calls the set date unfair and premature.
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Apparently the Palm Beach County School district owes the City of West Palm Beach a crapload of money. More than $200,000, in fact. 
The money owed is from a year's worth of storm drain fees (which really worked to PERFECTION during Tropical Storm Andrea), and now city officials are saying if the district doesn't pony up, they're going to disconnect the drains from at least nine schools in West Palm Beach.
Fun!
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