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Oooooohhh! This is the ghost of nightlife past coming to haunt your dreams of weekend debauchery. It's been a while since I've recapped all there is to do across the Magic City, but let's hope I can revive the column from the dead for what's left of 2009.

If you've been vigilant you know that I've already written previews for The Other Hollywood at Awarehouse, Tera-Ween at Cameo, The Cat's Meow at the Raleigh, Playboy Halloween Party at the Shore Club, and "Devil's Disciple" After-party with Busy P at Electric Pickle, so no need to rehash those. But there plenty more Miami scares to be had all weekend long:

Brooklyn's Tommie Sunshine is back to haunt us with sounds of electro past. The DJ/producer takes over the decks at Louis at the Gansevoort (2325 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) Friday night. If you want a real scare, Louis' door policy will take care of that.

Last time we posted it was in May. Why? Because you're boring us Miami! Same shit every weekend over and over again. We thought the economic crisis would force clubs and promoters to get creative -- obviously, they don't care they are hemorrhaging money. Whatever, Miami can use one or ten less "ultra lounges."

But in case you are looking to party all weekend long, here is what you don't want to miss:

Let's hope she didn't inherit his smoking habit because Alexandra Richards, daughter of Keith Richards, is going to need plenty of endurance when she spins at Misfit Fridays tonight at Louis at the Gansevoort. The model/DJ might not have the skills of say, Erol Alkan, but she's pretty to look at.

Parkwest has been rechristened as Fame, despite our previous reports (which we still stand by). The party officially starts tonight with DJ Nikolas, but the real fun seems to happen Saturday morning, with its premiere of Discosh*t. The party starts at 4 a.m. with DJ Cocodrills. We haven't been to Fame yet, but we are hoping it brought back Twilo's old lighting system that could only have been described as Daft Punk-esque and better than LIV's current light effects.

Memorial Day in Miami is like the elephant in the room. Nobody admits they don't want to party in South Beach this weekend for fear of coming off as racist. Well, you are. You aren't going to get shanked, stabbed, cut, mugged or shot at if you cross the causeway. Then there are those who just plainly don't like hip-hop heavy parties because it's just not their thing, and that's fine, we all have our different musical tastes.

I'm not going to do a run through all the Memorial Day parties because we already did so in this week's issue. However, you are looking for Urban Beach Week alternatives, here is what is in store for you this weekend:

Tonight, bands Young Love and Paper Route perform live at the Vagabond along with resident DJs Lolo, Ray Milian, Mike Duece, Danny Ashe, Carmel Ophir, UVS and Chris Graham.

Talk about a T&A weekend! Exxxotica is in town and so is Aqua Girl, making this a great weekend to see plenty of lovely ladies around the beach. So get ready, because here is what you might want to check out this weekend:

For seven days, 120 cars have travel 3,000 miles from Los Angeles to Miami for the Gumball 3000 Rally. To celebrate the conclusion of the event, Misfit Fridays at Louis will be hosting the official wrap-up party with DJ Muggs of Cypress Hill taking over the decks.

Also tonight, Ghostly International DJ Ryan Elliot will be spinning at White Room. Check out our Q&A with Elliot.

For the ladies who love ladies, Aqua Girl is holding its annual pool party at the Surfcomber Saturday. In case you forget how crazy this party gets, here is a visual refresher (NSFW).

We are finally back! We know, it's been too long since our last post, but we had more important things on our agenda like WMC and a subsequent vacation. But now that we're all settled in we are ready to get back to the nightlife grind.

So here are the things you aren't going to want to miss this weekend:

Tonight, Misfit Fridays makes its return at Louis in hopes to resurrect the weekend. Door can be a bitch, but then again with tastemakers Alexis Mincolla and Sam Baum at the helm and Damaged Goods on the decks it might be worth the trouble.

Over the causeway, Flamingo Fridays at PS14 is putting the bass back in "Miami bass." Crossfade columnist Jos El Rey plays song selector along with Debbie D (of Avenue D). Also invited to the party this week, former Nightdrive DJs R3K and DJPJ along with a live performance by Dorks Morons & Geeks.

Next door, The Vagabond hosts experimental pop trio Gliss. Hailing from the City of Angels, they have been compared to Velvet Underground, so make sure to check out what all the fuss is about.

And in case you can't get enough of the place, the Saturday night The Vagabond's Back Door Bamby party hosts the godfather of house, Frankie Knuckles.

But in order to get your weekend started properly -- and in honor of Debbie D -- we leave you with Avenue D's "Do I Look Like a Slut?" because, natch, you're going to end up taking it off anyway.

Er, so last night we were suppose to go see Diplo at LIV, but our disco nap turned into a deep slumber. Oh well, no worries, Diplo will be back for WMC, and we are excited about Mad Decent's party at O.H.W.O.W. during the week.

Anyway, we suppose we've got some catching up to do, so here's what you are going to want to check out this weekend:

Tonight, IHEARTCOMIX founder Frankie Chan is taking over the decks at Rokbar for some Good Clean Fun. Party is definitely worthwhile, plus one of our favorite DJs, Danny Daze, is always there to get us in the party mood.

Saturday night, after a bit of drinking in Wynwood, Poplife at White Room will have Heartsrevolution drummer Prince Terrence spinning. He'll be joining resident DJs Mike Deuce, Aramis and Induce.

Can you believe it? Winter Music Conference is only five weeks away! We are already putting together our WMC Guide, which at this point seems a little, er, overwhelming to say the least. So many parties that we are having a hard time deciding what to do when the week finally arrives.

So while we plan our Conference schedule, here is what you should check out this weekend:

First up, electroclash trio Freezepop stops by The Vagabond Friday. If you don't know what electroclash is you obviously never went to SoHo Lounge back in the early part of this decade when Revolver, Spiderpussy and Vice were the parties to go to. But for those who were there, the Boston band will be ready to provide a nostalgic trip back to synthpop past.

A few blocks north, Spank Rock's DJs Delvin and Darko will help the guys of Overthrow (Alexis Mincolla and Sam Baum) take over The King is Dead. Doors open at 11 p.m. and is free with RSVP to overthrowmiami@yahoo.com, otherwise expect to pay a $10 cover. Also, there will be complimentary Red Stripe until its all gone.

With the economy going way south, it seems like the nightlife industry is starting to implement new business tactics. Bottle service is surely going the way of the dinosaur, and the industry knows if it's going to survive its got to find untapped market.

Enter in the downtown hipster promoters.

Often relegated to the seedy downtown/Overtown nightclub scene, it seems they are now in vogue with South Beach's nightlife impresarios. Poplife hosts now at Louis on Tuesdays and Rokbar on Thursdays, while Lolo Reskin and Co. of Sweat Records get the Delano's Florida Room moving on Thursdays with its new Under Cover night. Let's not forget the quick rise Bella Rose's Black Sunday which is essential a downtown party in South Beach, and Off The Radar's stint every Wednesday at The Standard.

So are downtown hipster promoters the new black? Well, while you ponder the answer to that, here is what you can plan to do this weekend:

We're two months away from the monstrosity known as Winter Music Conference. While we're hearing of plenty of parties being scale back this year, we still know it's going to be amazing. But again, that's still two months away, so for now we are going to get excited about what this weekend has in store for us.

Tonight, Brooklyn DJ/producer Drop the Lime returns to the Magic City for a bass-heavy set at The Vagabond's Thursday night party, Shake. Local turntablist DJ Craze will also be on hand to really make this a party.

Frequent CrossFade/New Times contributor John Hood will be playing Thug Sinatra Friday night at Provocateur. The new club is just the latest addition to the increasingly crowded Collins Park area.

Also Friday, local web site REV Miami is having its launch party at PS14 featuring Afrobeta, Araka, Furious Dudes and more.

We're hoping the current cold snap disappears this weekend. We don't know if we can handle another night of freezing temperatures. Why? Because Miami's nightlife scene isn't equipped to handle cold patrons. Clubs lack coat checks, so if you bundle up to keep warm outside, you're most likely going to have to throw it in a dark corner and pray it doesn't get stolen.

So let's hope the coats can stay home, because here is what you want to check out this weekend:

Famed New York house DJ Roger Sanchez stops by the opulent Set tonight. Sanchez is set to release a new compilation next week called Roger Sanchez 3D. To celebrate, he's offering a little taste with his mix of A Tribe Called Es' "Dancin'."

Seems like the guys at Dirtybird can't get enough of Miami because San Francisco DJ Justin Martin is back. You'll have two opportunities to catch Martin, first at White Room tonight and later at Parkwest for afterhours.

Finally, Saturday, Le Tigre's JD Samson will be spinning at White Room for Poplife Saturday night. The P-life crew is celebrating founder's Aramis Lorie's birthday, who is turning -- well, we aren't sure, but does it really matter?