Florida Burlesque Festival: the Good, the Awkward, the Funny (VIDEO)

Video by Mitchel Worley

Every seat in the house was packed opening night of the first ever Florida Burlesque Festival at Fort Lauderdale's Cinema Paradiso. Attendees scrambled to save seats for friends who were on their way. It was even a risk to use the restroom, as your coveted seat might be stolen. Popcorn was sold in traditional movie theater bags as well as bottles of wine. Preshow, attendees were able to purchase boas, Pure Romance items like lube, pasties, and books with titles such as Tickle His Pickle, Ride em', Cowgirl!, and The Complete Guide to Sexual Positions.

See also: First Florida Burlesque Festival Starts Tomorrow at Cinema Paradiso

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Barre at the Bar Proves Nightlife Fitness Is Here to Stay

Sara Shake

Usually, C&I Studios is a establishment reserved for cool kids clad in tight pants, slathered in red lipstick after roaming art walk. Last night, however, upbeat music played where typically indie tunes rule. Yoga mats covered the floor where Toms and Chucks often walk, and women in tight workout gear got flexible where normally drinks are guzzled.

No, it wasn't a fitness-themed art show; it was a class from Pure Barre called Barre at the Bar. For 25 bucks each, participants received access to a pop-up boutique of workout clothes and a complimentary cocktail.

As weird as the whole "nightlife-themed workout" thing sounds, it really isn't that odd.

See also: Twerk Workout with Former Heat Dancer

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Ten Jimmy Buffett Parrothead Fashion Essentials

Sayre Berman

When we heard Jimmy Buffett, the king crooner of Margaritaville and Land Shark lager, was playing these parts, we grabbed our leis and lawn chairs and headed over to Cruzan to watch him perform. And although there are still cheeseburgers in paradise, it was all the parrotheads that caught our eye.

Jimmy's loyal band of followers were out in full effect this weekend, some even tailgating seven hours before the show. We were curious to see what the best parrotheads were sporting, so we decided to compile a list for future Buffett concerts. Here are ten things you need to be a proper parrothead.

See also: Jimmy Buffett at Cruzan Amphitheater (Slideshow)

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Ten Flexible Yogis on Their Favorite Yoga Tunes

Natalya Jones

This weekend, we decided to search for some inner peace at YogaFest in Huizenga Park, Fort Lauderdale. We want to say we weren't inspired by overconsumption of weed brownies or Easter candy, but, then we'd be lying. Too much THC and sugar will naturally send you into the downward facing dog and/or child's pose.

Besides the typical yoga classes offered at the affair, there was cool workout garb for sale, delicious organic food, an abundance of good vibes, and a butt-ton of flexibility. We spoke with the most bendy yogis we encountered about which songs are their favorite to stretch to. Feel free to take these tunes and add them to your playlist -- whether used to inspire yoga, sewing, or just plain making pliant amour. And to that we say, "Namaste, bitches."

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Stache Opening Night: Patrons Reveal Their Favorite Mustache Looks

Michele Eve Sandberg

Patrons and employees were swaddled in pearl necklaces, fishnet, boas, and other prohibition era attire this Saturday at the grand opening of Fort Lauderdale speakeasy Stache. The sax was the instrument of choice at this Great Gatsby-style event and the decor consisted of sophisticated bookshelves, sparkling chandeliers and, oddly enough, even a picture of Chuck Norris. But hey, we dig Walker, Texas Ranger as much as Daisy Buchanan.

Despite the name of the place, there were no mustaches present except, of course, the real ones on people's faces. In honor of No Shave November (or Movember) and the name of 2nd Street's newest bar, we decided to talk to the partiers about their favorite mustaches and what they liked best about Stache.

See also: Photos from Stache's Grand Opening.

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EXXXotica 2013: A Germaphobe's First Porn Expo

@abelf77 (Instagram)
Lovely locals from Solid Gold
Chapter One: An Innocuous Plea to Get You on My Side (Even Though I Have Nothing to Offer, Like the People I Will Be in Immediate Contact with Might)

I am neither saint nor devil. I am not here nor there. I don't exist in the classical sense, yet I am part of your peripherals. I am nothing and everything. I am Herman Hesse's Abraxas; Earth Mother, troglodyte and demon deity. My predictions on football (read: soccer) are top notch, bar none and all-encompassing truths. I know a thing or two.

I also know that light switches need to be clicked up and down at least three times before we are sure they are properly turned off. Maybe I have some compulsions, maybe I don't. Whatever I got, works for me.

I've had the small journalistic fortune to be awarded certain jobs by my sheriffs that stem completely out of my norm. As much as I'd like to liken myself to Stephen King's "Gunslinger" in the Dark Tower series or to Zane (Xanathos) in Pierce Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality opus, I'm but a shadow cast in late August.

Bottom line is, I'm the last guy you'd like involved in the midst of violent gonad purges. Aside from ostensibly pretentious musings of the high order concerning pornography; know this my sweet readers, all three of you: I have nothing against this multi-million enterprise.

See also:
- Photos: Exxxotica 2013 at Broward County Convention Center (NSFW)
- Ten Best Stripper Dance Moves of Exxxotica 2013 in Animated GIFs (NSFW)

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Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Reveal More Than Bare Asses (NSFW)

Naturists playing Twister.jpg
Liz Tracy
The drive out to Sunsport Gardens, a family naturist resort near Wellington, was an exercise in endurance. Finally off the Turnpike, one thunderstorm later, and somewhere near the Everglades, I passed a sign for a gun show, drove by a Starbucks and Jamba Juice. You know, swamp necessities. Not long after what seemed to be the last Publix on the Earth, I made a right turn onto a well-kept dirt road that led to the place where naked people play.

Loxahatchee Groves is, surprisingly, quite lovely. Where you'd think trailer parks squatted on gnarled plots of land, there are mostly plant nurseries and ranch-style homes with groomed but voluptuous greenery. The area is also about a million miles away from wherever it is that you live. After what felt like three hours, but was realistically two miles, I reached their gate, monitored by surveillance cameras. Behind it, I was the weirdo in a bathing suit with hangups trying to score a conversation with younger nudists here for the annual Florida Young Naturists' Spring Bash.

See also
- Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Talk About Intimacy, Hairy Pits, and Freedom (NSFW)

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Best Concerts of 2012: The Growlers at Propaganda, Lake Worth

Ian Witlen
With 2013's breath already warm on our necks, most music scribes are reflecting on the year past. We contemplate the good and bad bits of the year, we compile our "best of" lists, and we (sometimes subconsciously) set our new standards for the next year. 

See also
- Best Concerts of 2012

Your average music journalist is a jaded individual. We go to shows for a living: the occasion of concerts fades, the impact of jarring sound systems and buzzing crowds fails to stir any sort of sensory response after a while, and the ease of losing oneself in a performance is gone pretty quickly. It grows increasingly difficult to find yourself in the haze of a show. But, in 2012, the rather unexpected performance by the Growlers at Propaganda, Lake Worth, proved to be memorable enough to earn a space at the top of my favorite shows of 2012.

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Five Bands That Sucked More with New Singers; Misfits' Michele Graves Plays Propaganda

It's pretty common for fans of the Misfits to shit on anything the band did following the departure of Glenn Danzig. All things considered, the re-animated Misfits was a totally different Frankenstein's monster than the original lineup, but we here at County Grind are secure enough to admit that there really is no such thing as a "guilty pleasure," and as such we submit that the Misfits albums featuring Michale Graves' velveteen croon were really fun records! They've got chugging guitars, pounding drums, plenty of horror film references, and more "whoa-oh-ohs" than you can shake a clenched fist at. 

And besides, there are plenty of legendary bands that continued to make records and tour with a fresh face on lead vox that sucked exponentially more relative to their previous lineups than the Graves era Misfits. Just to prove that point, here's a completely useless list to distract you from whatever constructive things you had planned to do on the internet today. 

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Fort Lauderdale Zombie Walk 2012: Five Favorite Undead Looks

Christina Mendenhall 
If you missed the premiere of The Walking Dead last night, we're bringing you some brain eating, membrane covered zombie realness from Friday's Fort Lauderdale Zombie Walk to make up for any unsatisfied blood lust ya got. 

Swarms of rotting souls invaded the Green Room to get undead. Professional makeup artists were on hand to kill the masses with face paint. 
Black Friday's DJ Mike LinderSMASH led the way, wrangling walkers by way of a chainsaw. The smell of gasoline was preferable to the aroma of rotting flesh. 

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