Top Ten Most Famous Hats in Music History

Categories: Useless Lists

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Jeffrey Delannoy

Subscribers to guitar magazines are probably those most excited about Slash coming to town August 29 at Hard Rock Live. But a close second would be hat aficionados.

Slash might still be a household name for his blistering guitar playing with Guns N' Roses alone, and while his trademark hair, sunglasses, and tough sounding name probably have something to do with his continued fame, it is undoubtedly that black top hat which makes him an icon. In his honor we present the ten most famous hats in music.

See also: Slash Keeps Rock and Roll Alive at Hard Rock Live on August 29

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Five Reasons Phish Should Spend New Year's Eve 2014 in Miami

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Ben Thacker

Eighteen thousand. That is about the maximum capacity for a little establishment in New York City called Madison Square Garden. Seventy-two thousand is the amount of people you can fit within the NYC institution in four days.

Four days is the average number of days in a Phish New Year's run.

Ten minutes. That is the average amount of time it takes Phish to sell all 72,000 tickets, every year for the past four years. And four is the number of years Phish has held a contract with Madison Square Garden to ensure a steady home for such a massive tradition.

The band has played the Garden more than 30 times, thanks to the famed New Year's run, with a few breaks in between to explore some other locales, including the American Airlines Arena (which holds 19,600 capacity with similar sellout times to the Garden) in 2003 and in 2009. Phish's brief encounters with the Miami kind went over like glow sticks at Ultra Music Festival and has left the rumor mill churning, "NYE in MIA?"

After hearing this multiple times this year on the road, I've dug up the top five reasons why phans are right to be buzzing with Miami lust.

See also: Photos of Phish at American Airlines Arena

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Five Things Weird Al Critiques in Mandatory Fun

Categories: Useless Lists

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As Robin Thicke's Paula plummets down the Billboard album charts faster than Chris Christy on a bungee cord, pop's prince of parody Weird Al Yankovic just scored his first chart topping release.

His new album Mandatory Fun is his best in years, and has spawned some stellar accompanying viral videos, a few of which rank as definite high points in the polka purveyor's almost 30 year career. The usual array of shrewd pastiches of other artist's works is there, however Weird Al's flexing of his satirical muscle has never been more impressive or needed. Our pop culture bubble has never been more plastic, flimsy, or vapid, and Weird Al's spoofs lance it spectacularly.

Here are some of the targets of Weird Al's spot on, good natured lampooning on Mandatory Fun.

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Dave Matthews Band's Soundtrack to Your Life

Categories: Useless Lists

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Photo by Moses via Wikipedia Commons
Much like Edible Arrangements, Dave Mathews Band has something for every occasion. While the one offers pineapples to help you celebrate your 30th birthday, DMB's got songs that remind you of losing your virginity.

When you sing along with Dave, it's kind of like wailing words off pages of an old diary. Some of the top moments in your personal history can all be expressed and explained by tracks penned by Dave Matthews.

Now, relax and ride that Dave train back to moments you'll always remember and some you wish you could forget.


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Ten Ugliest "O" Faces in Pop Music (NSFW)

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angela n. via Flickr

Most professional musicians who make it to the world stage are rather beautiful. It's part of the deal that they're more attractive or interesting in the face than most.

But no matter how gorgeous that mug, if they're putting even smidgen of soul into their efforts, their face is gonna show it. They often look as though they're having a rough time in the John after an unfortunate encounter with street meat or as if in the throes of true ecstasy (which feels better than it looks).

Though some might see it as a translation of "spirit" or "passion," these funny "O" faces offer the rest of us ugly fucks the chance to humanize celebrities. It just so happens that the following lookers display hysterical shred-face when wilin' out. This collection of grimaces lays out pretty much the worst best of them.

See also: Ultra 2014's 25 Best Bass Faces

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Ten Best Instances of the Go-Go's in Movies and TV

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For decades there have been threats and allegations of a movie about the Go-Go's, the Southern California, early '80s all female, New Wave band. There are all the elements of an interesting movie: photogenic underdogs beating the odds to become superstars, lots of sex, drugs, and of course great rock and roll. A couple years ago Gwyneth Paltrow was attached to produce a flick, but that fell through, and it probably didn't help that a movie about another all girl group, the Runaways, didn't pack the fannies in the theaters.

But fans of the Go-Go's need not settle for merely seeing them this Sunday at Hard Rock Live, there are plenty of instances where you can hear their sunny infectious beats from the comfort of your own screen. Here are the ten top instances where the Go-Gos were represented on film and TV.


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Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common

Categories: Useless Lists

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Colin Young-Wolff

We can debate eternally about whether the term hipster is "over" or even what characteristics truly define these typically slender snobs, but we'd rather just point out what they have in common with hippies. Why? Because the internet is our brain playground, and we can do whatever we want on it.

From the filthiest, cocaine-snorting, fake glasses-wearing camera hog at a dive bar to the sustainable living, loose, homemade, strawberry-dyed T-shirt-sporting butcher mom in Brooklyn -- we know what a hipster is. And a hippie? Well, if you're confused about that, read a history book, Google Grateful Dead, or call my mom.

Just like you can still sometimes find old dudes in bell-bottoms, long shaggy hair framing their bald spots, sporting tight tie-dyed T's, and dancing with abandon at a rave, you will one day spot old guys with very skinny jeans, asymmetrical haircuts, and tie-dyed shirts with cats on them looking snotty at a trendy outdoor concert 30 years from now. Though some would like them to disappear, the reality is, these trendy types are in it for the long haul.

Here's a guide that unites these "counter-culture" culture makers.

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11 Weird and Somewhat Stupid Band Names

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It stands to reason that to brand itself effectively, a band must have a name that's also subversive and memorable. During the initial flush of the British Invasion, parents were forced to ponder the meaning of band handles like the Beatles, Pretty Things, Zombies, the Kinks, and the Who (as to the what and why). Those names seem innocent enough now, compared to many acts today whose titles are geared toward implying idiocy, irony, or insult. We've compiled a list of weird and suggestive band names; they defy the norm and inspire a second glance. Add your favorite horrible band name in the comments.

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Ten Tunes to Welcome Hurricane Season

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Jim Morrison: One stormy personality

Anyone who whines about the fact that South Florida has no change of season ought to bear one thing in mind: We do have at least two seasons -- and sometimes, even three. The first extends six months, from June 1 to November 30 -- an ungodly long portion of the year if you ask us -- and is dubbed Hurricane Season, marked not by the changing of the leaves or a shift in temperature but rather by the intense interest in any little blob forming off the coast of Africa and its subsequent progress on a potentially deadly collision course with that spit of sitting-duck-type terrain otherwise known as Florida.

There's the three months preceding Hurricane Season, generally referred to as "Get ready to panic and prepare for ultimate devastation as predicted by forecasters as far away as Colorado and agreed upon by local officials, media, and meteorologists." We celebrate by conceding that it's not a matter of if but rather when we're going to be wiped off the map.

The third season is an option, but judging by the dire predictions that accompany the second, it's almost a certainty. It's called "Clean up all the shit caused by the storm" season, whereby we go through the devastation of our homes, our lives, our neighborhoods, and then welcome the National Guard and the prospects of living life without electricity for three months.

Ah, what better way to celebrate the passing of the seasons! Given that we're apparently stuck with this rather unfortunate scenario and a ton of rain already since June 1, we here at New Times have come up with a way to mark these circumstances with some musical merriment, namely, top ten songs well-suited for the stormy season.

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Drake and Lil Wayne: The Ultimate Hip-Hop Bromance

Categories: Useless Lists

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Less than a month after Jay Z and Beyoncé did not attend Kayne West's wedding to Kim Kardashian, rap fans have put forward a theory that Yeezus is articulating his indignation by censoring Jay Z's name from his recent live performances. But weep not; they were not even the biggest bromance of rap. Surely that title belongs to Lil Wayne and Drake. These two are the Pitt and Clooney of the rap world.

Moreover, Drake and Lil Wayne are bringing their heavyweight hip-hop hugfest to West Palm Beach's Cruzan Amphitheatre on September 3 as part of their 31-date jaunt across the United States. This is no surprise for fans of the rap giants, who have openly and often expressed an admiration for each other. Drake waxes lyrical about Weezy every chance he gets, while you can guarantee that Lil Wayne has every season of Degrassi on box set.

Here're a few moments from the wonder that is the Lil Wayne-Drake friendship.


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