Five Ways Trick Daddy Can Bounce Back After His Arrest

Categories: Useless Lists

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Late last week, the citizenry of Miami-Dade County was forced to see yet another one of its heroes fall -- dramatically and with the plummeting speed of an anchor thrown from a moving plane -- from grace.

Rapper Trick Daddy (real name: Maurice Young) was apprehended by police for a slew of nasty charges including driving with a suspended license and possession of both illegal firearms and controlled substances.

Things are looking pretty grim for Mr. 305. But here are some foolproof plans to get the profane rhyme-spitter back on his feet.

See also: Trick Daddy Arrested in Miramar

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Five Great Reasons to Party in Fort Lauderdale

Categories: Useless Lists

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Photo by epitomized1 via Wikipedia Commons
Partying in Fort Lauderdale. It's like eating bread in Paris, surfing in Malibu, or being depressed in Moscow. It's just what the city was designed to best offer humanity.

Sure, there are reasons not to party in Fort Lauderdale. You have work tomorrow, you're broke, Hector is still actively looking for you. But the reasons you should party in this city surely outweigh whatever pathetic reasons you can come up with to not get drunk in the 954.

See also: Ten Wildest Spring Break Bars in Fort Lauderdale

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Tourmates Whom Paul Simon Could Use to Make Art Garfunkel Jealous

Categories: Useless Lists

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Kevin Mazur - Wire Image

Late in February, Art Garfunkel came to town and, in an interview with this publication, when asked about reuniting with Paul Simon, said, "In my mind it's very doable. You're talking to the wrong man. It's a tricky subject, and it looks so simple. But I won't get into it. Suffice it to say, I'm an easy sell on this."

There you go; the man all but pleaded for a Simon & Garfunkel reunion. Not even a month later, Paul Simon comes to the BB&T Center, on March 15, but not with Art, instead touring with Sting.

We can barely imagine how such an indignity must feel to Garfunkel. Not only is Simon touring with another man but with another blond. Here are five other touring partners Paul Simon could rub in the face of Art Garfunkel, along with his imagined reaction.

See also: Art Garfunkel Is "Showing My Love Like Never Before"

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Five Musical Ways to Cope With Your Long Commute

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Mike Rice
Is most of your life spent in a vessel like this, but way crappier? Then this list is for you.

Do you fear that too much of your life is spent on the road? Do you see your own mortality in the wide, grey, dismal tone of the turnpike? Do you feel your impermanence and the fleeting nature of time in the pit of your stomach while you struggle in futile attempts to listen to some halfway decent music, finally surrendering and choosing silence instead?Then this is the article for you!

Living in Broward or Palm Beach counties mean you're spending long hours in your car. Whether to visit your bubbie, get to work, or hit up the club. We here at County Grind feel your pain -- we're called County Grind for fuck's sake! -- and we specialize in sound, so we've compiled a list of musical ways to cope with your grueling commute. You're welcome!


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The Ten People You'll Meet Out in Hollywood, Florida

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Michele Sandberg

Oh, Hollywood, Florida, that mysterious land just north of the Miami madness. It has its fair share of lovable freaks. Some of us here at County Grind call it home, and we're endlessly intrigued by its curious mix of characters.

To know the city is to know its people, and through some intensive people-watching exercises, we've narrowed it down to ten "types" that inhabit Hollywood's parts. Admittedly, we've generalized a bit, but we can definitely say that everyone there is at least a variation of one of these archetypes, ourselves included.

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Top 5 Worst People at a Heavy Metal Show

Categories: Useless Lists

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Mike Rice
Imagine the taste of that hair in your mouth.

By and large, the heavy metal community boasts fans that are passionate, fun individuals that know how to cut loose. Metal fans have shown themselves to be some of the most supportive and loyal of any genre, sometimes sticking by bands despite years of subpar albums, major lineup changes, and childish, public infighting (We're looking at you, big 4).

Despite all of this positivity, metal shows are an environment that breed some unbelievably obnoxious behavior: Drinks are flowing, there's encouraged mayhem everywhere, and etiquette is often lost in the aether of blast beats and tremolo-picked shred. And God dammit, you're all grown-ups and we're getting real tired of your shit. So, here's a list of the five worst people you'll find at every metal show. Stop it.


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Top 10 Most Ratchet Music Videos

Categories: Useless Lists

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Along with the terms "twerk" and "bougie," the word "ratchet" falls into the hoodrat category and spans across all genres of music and subject matter. In case you don't know what this means, please allow us to explain: It's the trashy sense of fashion that some people think is classy but, in reality, it's just plain trashy (see the infamous Urban Dictionary for a more specific definition).

Even artists like Miley Cyrus and Rihanna have excelled at this sort of raunchiness. Because of this wide-spread epidemic, we decided to compile a list to hopefully differentiate between raunchy and wholesome tunes. Read on, but beware, some of this is indeed contagious, and not suitable to watch on your work computer or iPhone during tea with your Nana. Also, watch out for number ten, the most ratchet song of them all.


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Top 5 Venues to See a Metal Show in Broward and Palm Beach

Categories: Useless Lists

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Ian Witlen

South Florida loves its heavy metal. While the area may no longer spit out talented metal bands with the same tenacity it once did, there was a time when South Florida's extreme heat and humidity provided an ideal environment for the incubation of top-notch heavies in a way rivaled only by the likes of Tampa and Sweden.

Fortunately for us, metal tours still hit South Florida with a consistency that fans of most other genres would kill for. We have it good when it comes to metal shows, and that's due in large part to the fact that bands, promotors, and booking agents all understand the unwavering reality that is the South Florida metal fan: A breed of ride or die head-banger not afraid to come out on a Monday night, swill beer, churn a pit, and scream their fuckin' head off into the wee hours.

Additionally, South Florida is home to enough heavy metal temples to house covens of all sizes. Venues not afraid of the depraved rituals and sonic baptisms that metal shows consist of. Structures built to withstand countless assaults of blastbeats, dive bombs, and hoards of inebriated maniacs losing their collective shit. Here are our top 5 places to see a metal show in Broward and Palm Beach counties.

See also: Ten Best Florida Metal Bands of All Time

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Marvel Comics' Best Rock and Roll Moments

Categories: Useless Lists

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Sayre Berman

It seems though every other movie being released this summer is based on a Marvel comic book. With new editions of Captain America, Spider-man, X-men and the cinematic debut of the Guardians of the Galaxy hitting the screen, Hollywood and the Marvel Universe continue their intimate tango.

But Marvel comic books have another long-standing relationship with a different form of popular culture: rock music. Here are ten ways Spider-man and his amazing friends have infiltrated the music world. Much of these relationships were chronicled in Sean Howe's excellent book, Marvel Comics: The Untold Story which is a must read for any Marvel Zombies wanting to know which of their favorite comics were plotted on LSD.

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This Is The Music Your Pot Dealer Loves

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Wait...what were we talking about?
One of the most oft-explored weed stereotypes deals with the inescapable small talk that comes with committing the USA's favorite non-violent, increasingly-legal crime.

"What do you mean?" balks a utilitarian. "You show up. You spit out an amount and some dollars. And you leave."

Ah! Anyone who has ever copped knows that patrons are forced -- between each of those seemingly innocuous phases -- to free improv converse with black market clerks with whom they likely have little in common with besides, well, dope.

Some would argue this situation is one of the foremost reasons decriminalization and/or legalization need(s) to happen, like, yesterday. But County Grind advocates a more humanistic approach to your purchase of marijuana.

Don't you think its time you started considering your dealer and their chit-chat as something more than a necessary hurdle to overcome in order to obtain that which you most desire? Haven't you ever stopped to wonder, "Hey! I wonder what kind of music my pot dealer loves?"

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