Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber's Breakdown: A Freudian Psychosexual Analysis

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Did Selena Gomez keep Bieber's wild side in check.
Shortly before 1 a.m. PST today, TMZ reported the late-breaking story that -- brace yourself -- Justin Bieber's recent extended mad blunted mental breakdown is, if you can believe it, almost directly related to his recent breakup with Selena Gomez.

And upon reading this digitally rendered revelation regarding millionaire Millennials and who they're sexting, we couldn't help but think of when social theorist Hannah Arendt, in the course of writing about the Nuremberg Trials, declared, "No shit, Sherlock!"

Plus, Timz (think about it) totally blew the opportunity for some actually hard-hitting Freudian-style (as in, penis-obsessed) psychosexual analysis.

But, hey. That's why County Grind is here. More »

Britney Spears' Secret Valentine: Five Scandalous Suspects

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Britney Spears: P.I.M.P.
This past Valentine's Day, Britney Spears was spotted on what appeared to be a romantic rendezvous with some regular ol' shmucko.

See also
- Britney Spears Quits X-Factor and Embraces EDM! Next Stop: MDMA Meltdown!!
- Britney Spears Does Las Vegas: Five Potential Themes for Her Upcoming Revue
- Six Drugs That Britney Spears Could Have Hypothetically Taken During Her Head-Shaving Meltdown

This is not the first time Spears has gone the anonymous route to find love. Remember, Kevin Federline built a brand around being ex-Mr. Britney Spears.

Everyone is speculating about this mysterious loverman. And none of Britney's reps are returning phone calls.

So we are left to speculate wildly about this bro's identity. Check it.
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2 Chainz Arrested for Weed and Forced to Pose with Cops: Hilarious, Police Brutality, or Both?

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As reported by our sister blog, Crossfade, rapper 2 Chainz was arrested last night at "a routine traffic stop" for possession of marijuana.

This should surprise no one.

What's actually notable about this still-developing story, Chainz was forced to pose for a fan photograph with the officers that locked him up.

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2 Chainz

Britney Spears Quits X-Factor and Embraces EDM! Next Stop: MDMA Meltdown!!

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Did Britney trade X-Factor for XTC?
Last night, TMZ broke the news that Britney Spears would not be returning as a judge on Reality TV talent show and American Idol-knockoff, The X-Factor.

The gossip e-rag also reported, via anonymous insider, that Spears is considering recording a new album and getting back on her tour grind.

We suspect that this recent erratic behavior involves nothing less than a vast moronic conspiracy involving Brit, Will.I.Am., MDMA, and even MDNA. That's right: Madonna!

Cue the violins and select the noir-est Instagram filter, 'cause this plot is thick.

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Paparazzi Creepoids Catch Justin Bieber Hooking Up with Ex Selena Gomez

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Da Biebz just can't get enough. And neither can TMZ's hairy-palmed photographers.
Early this morning, TMZ released photos that implied barely legal pop stars (and former couple), Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, have been engaging in the ancient rite of break-up sex. 

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According to County Grind's pubertous calculations, this (alleged) coital rendezvous is right on schedule. 

See, Le Bieb has been up to all sortsa playa shit, like flirting with hoochies, committing minor moving violations in an exorbitantly expensive car, and live-Tweeting his hot-to-trot bachelor escapades. So right about now is the vertiginous moment when, after taking a brisk walk on the wild side, it's time this ex-(and maybe future?)-couple conducted a good, ol' fashioned, emotionally disorienting booty call. 

None of this is shocking. It's called life. What's weird is that the content cannibals over at TMZ can't seem to stop hanging on to Bieber's every last turd. And/or boner. 
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Six Drugs That Britney Spears Could Have Hypothetically Taken During Her Head-Shaving Meltdown

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Was Britney on Meth? 
Five years after YouTube shriek freak Chris Crocker implored the world to "Leave Britney alone," the pop music megastar's former manager isn't getting the hint.

For one reason or another, Sam Lufti just won't shut the fuck up about alleged drug use Spears partook in during the mid-2000s, when she just couldn't seem to free herself of the searing tabloid spotlight.

First it was prescription upper Adderral. But now Lufti is adamant on proving to the world once and for all that Britney Spears was recreationally smoking crystal methamphetamine.

County Grind has no idea if the accusations or true, and we don't care. We're too busy drafting a list of all the other illicit substances that could have contributed to pop culture's best meltdown of the 2000s.

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Reflections of a Disco Infiltrator Part Six: The Social Network

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Photo by Stephanie Rae Berzon
Plausible deniability is an impressive bitch until it's your own ass that gets bitten. By the early months of 2007, I was in a state of increasing anxiety about my infiltration of the Poplife party scene. I had not told anyone about the seduction process I had been through, the mix of intrigue and a potentially excellent record deal offered to me, or how impressed I was by how organized yet nonchalantly this had all been carried out by people that never officially said they were working together, but always seemed to imply that they were. The character of the disco infiltrator would slowly change in the months to come.

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Reflections of a Disco Infiltrator, Part 5: Seduced by Poplife

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Photo by Stephanie Rae Berzon
When I took my disco-infiltrator persona beyond the confines of Broward and began injecting it into Miami's Poplife party, I suddenly had a much larger audience to screw around with. My subversive dance maneuvers still got laughs from ordinary dance-floor citizens. But for the glorified pimps who looked like scenesters, who in hindsight almost certainly were running clandestine businesses within that business, I wore out my welcome in a hurry.

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Reflections of a Disco Infiltrator, Part 4: Roxanne's

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Photo by Stephanie Rae Berzon
In my last column, I covered some of the evolution of the Broward indie parties that developed near the time of my run as a disco infiltrator/performance artist in the club scene, as well as trying to recall various dancing maneuvers. Here, I catch them at the peak.

The pinnacle of indie Thursday-night parties (and my routine), to my recollection, was called Phoenix, and it was held at a club called Roxanne's mostly in 2006. By the time Roxanne's opened, I was already in dancing shape. I had a basic costume (the short shorts that D-Wade mocks Charles Barkley for wearing in the T-mobile fave five commercials) and a tank top. This contrasted well with the bulk of the more fashionable crowd, though I do recall being told by a few key people that I should wear tight jeans and that wearing girl's jeans was the rage. Eventually, I found some of those jeans, and I would walk around the club pointing at my jeans loudly declaring "girl's jeans"! I got a great deal of fashion mileage out of that.

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Reflections of a Disco Infiltrator part 3 (the Pat Riley dance)

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Photo by Stephanie Rae Berzon
Evan Rowe is a local songwriter and performer best-known as Catalonia, a professor of political science and history at Broward College, and a small-d democratic strategist with no party affiliation. Each week, we surrender our space for his thoughts on the music industry and how they relate to our region. This week, part three of Evan's past in the club scene.

In part two of my disco infiltrator series, we'll verbally describe my moves -- because as time elapses, I am losing valuable witnesses to this time period.  But some remain. DJ Eric Michael K notes that the "Bunny hop was the softer side of Evan's dance floor persona. I still remember him luring unsuspecting curious newcomers into his dance ritual and then completely switching it up to the raptor and freaking them out. No rhythm. No reason. Just complete and utter dance floor enigma. Genius? Legend? Hero? You be the judge." 

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