11 Weird and Somewhat Stupid Band Names

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It stands to reason that to brand itself effectively, a band must have a name that's also subversive and memorable. During the initial flush of the British Invasion, parents were forced to ponder the meaning of band handles like the Beatles, Pretty Things, Zombies, the Kinks, and the Who (as to the what and why). Those names seem innocent enough now, compared to many acts today whose titles are geared toward implying idiocy, irony, or insult. We've compiled a list of weird and suggestive band names; they defy the norm and inspire a second glance. Add your favorite horrible band name in the comments.

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Ten Most Annoying Drunk Dudes You Meet at a Bar

Categories: Talking Shit

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Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

No question, we here at the County Grind like to have a good time, have some laughs, and enjoy a few libations. Doesn't everybody? But sometimes we can get a little carried away in our merriments: One drink leads to another leads to a thousand.

Ever had a night like that? Ever been the sloppy drunk at the bar? Ever been 86'd from your favorite watering hole?

Sure there are those happy-go-lucky, life-of-the-party, shitfaced folks, but most of the time, an overly inebriated person just proves a public nuisance. You want to avoid those annoying boozers at any cost, so we're here to help.

What follows is a handy guide to help determine what kind of drunk dudes to avoid at the bar. Or, more realistically, the kind of drunk you don't want to become after imbibing entirely too much alcohol.

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Rap Shirts for White People Are Painfully Accurate

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Whoa! Check it out! The internet did something funny again! Oh, internet. You're too much. The latest soon-to-be-viral phenomenon addresses a serious issue that many aren't sensitive to in our day and age -- that it's hard out here for a white person. So damned hard. And for those porcelain-fleshed, plaid-shorts-wearing beings so inclined to grasp onto any bit of culture and pretend it's their own, it's even harder.

Despite being in the highly diversified South Florida, we still have our fair share of white-boy bros who don't exclusively rap out to Macklemore and Eminem. They treat all rappers with the same feigned understanding. For those freckled fellows who shout "THIS IS MY SHIIIIIIIT!" upon hearing a song about coming up from the streets, Rap Shirts for White People is for you!

Yes, these are exactly what they sound like. They take famous rap lines and make them a little more relatable for all the crackers out there. What a good deed, amirite? Let's take a look at some of our favorites and read a few of our own.

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9 Best Band T-Shirts to Wear to an Urban Outfitters Interview

Categories: Talking Shit

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Colin Young-Wolff

Times are tough friends, and freelancing does not pay as much as it used to. Eating ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner gets old quick, no matter how much siracha you put on it. Because of these reasons, and the incessant need to make rent every month, this freelancer went (rather reluctantly) in search of a day job. We sent out tons of applications, for all sorts of gigs -- retail, service industry, sales, you name it. One of the places we heard back from first was Urban Outfitters.

We panicked about going in for an interview. Are we hip enough to make the cut? Urban Outfitters has long ruled the world's hipster apparel market. But most people look ridiculous in skinny jeans, and we don't own one pair of those faux thick-rimmed glasses. Our haircut isn't buzzed on one side either.

We needed to figure out how to nail this gig. And we realized that would require the right band T-shirt. One that says, "Yeah I'm with it, I've got my finger on the pulse of the scene." But which one is the right one? After the jump, help us chose the right shirt.


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18 Signs Your Band Might Suck

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Nickelback knows how to suck in style.

It's been about a year now since you've been plugging away with your garage rock band, sweating in a non-air-conditioned warehouse space, and losing sleep over late-night practices. Mostly it's resulted only in your showing up late for your retail gig at Urban Outfitters. All this time, and you and your group of guys or gals have yet to reap the benefits of all that hard work. What gives? Is there something wrong with your sound? Maybe you just need a bassist with more oomph? Or is it that audiences just don't get what you are going for?

These are all valid questions, but which one is the reason you haven't blown up yet? How many more gigs can you perform for audiences of two or three? It's getting frustrating for sure, but no worries -- County Grind is always here to help. We got together with a few local notable musicians and crafted this nifty checklist to help you find out if it's just that your band sucks.


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Six Coolest New Clubs and Bars in Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach

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Ian Witlen

South Florida's nightlife scene can be fickle. What once was your favorite EDM/alterna-electro joint flipped to a merengue and bachata club overnight. Sure, the beats are still good, but you haven't the slightest idea how to move your hips so fluidly. And you miss your favorite DJs. Where did they go?

It's a world that's hard to keep track of, packed with dozens of surprises and great lighting. This past year, a bevy of new clubs and bars has arisen. Some of our favorite spots shuttered their doors, sure, but we've compiled a list of the top six new clubs in Broward and Palm Beach counties to help you, dear reader, find a new hangout to get down.

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The Ten People You'll Meet Out in Hollywood, Florida

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Michele Sandberg

Oh, Hollywood, Florida, that mysterious land just north of the Miami madness. It has its fair share of lovable freaks. Some of us here at County Grind call it home, and we're endlessly intrigued by its curious mix of characters.

To know the city is to know its people, and through some intensive people-watching exercises, we've narrowed it down to ten "types" that inhabit Hollywood's parts. Admittedly, we've generalized a bit, but we can definitely say that everyone there is at least a variation of one of these archetypes, ourselves included.

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A Punk Mixtape for a Very Loud Valentine's Day

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Patrick
Look at these lovebirds.

Here at the Grind, we're never short of excuses when it comes to sharing music with our fine readers, and today's video playlist is thematically in tune with the goodwill of Valentine's Day and charged with the punk rock energy you'll want for when the date's over and the lights turn down. So get your scented candles ready, pick out some nice floral arrangement, and take your significant other somewhere decent and quiet where you can devote your time to a good meal, good conversation, and to losing yourself in the serenity of their eyes.

Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for your continued readership!


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Top Ten Pickup Spots in Fort Lauderdale

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Monica McGivern

A couple of weeks ago, we chronicled the top pickup spots in Palm Beach County, locales where singles feeling frisky, risky, and perhaps a wee bit kinky can freely frolic. We highlighted some obvious choices -- like Blue Martini (because, c'mon, it's universal knowledge this higher-end martini bar is a notorious place to try to score) and some less recognizable spots -- such as Delray Beach's Lake Ida dog park. The idea was to cover all the bases where singles can best snatch up fellow singles.

This week, we look at what Broward County has to offer to all the enterprising unattached out there. BroCo, you knew we wouldn't blow you off. So from Deerfield Beach's oceanside dives to Hollywood's Young Circle haunts, after the jump, read our list of Broward County's best destinations to "get lucky."

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Top Ten Signs You're a Music Snob

Categories: Talking Shit


We all have a friend or two who still dress like it's 1995 but with skinny jeans. They usually have on thick-rimmed glasses and wear T-shirts of bands you've never heard of. The dude or chick carries around all their synthy equipment in their trunk, just in case inspiration strikes at Sunday dinner with their grandma. They seem to know everything and anything about music and are constantly offering unsolicited band recommendations. They own everything on vinyl and have "heard of" every band before they got famous. Yes, that smug, self-satisfied music snob we all love to hate but can't shake.

The thing about music snobs is, they'll never 'fess up as such. Self-identification seems to jeopardize their validity as true highbrow musical connoisseurs. So, who knows, you might even be one and not know it! You need some sort of tester to see if you actually are a music snob. That's where we step in. We've drafted a brief but useful list to help those unaware smarty pants identify themselves. Find out if you're as obnoxious as your whole family thinks you are.

See also: Five Douchiest Things Music Snobs Say

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