No, WLRN, You Don't Have to Leave South Florida to Hear Rock 'n' Roll

Monica McGivern

Last week, WLRN ran a positively ludicrous piece suggesting that fans of rock 'n' roll "might have to leave Miami" to enjoy a good bit of organically made sonic piss and vinegar.

While we know all too well the area's reputation through our own efforts to extol and defend South Florida's validity as a rock 'n' roll town, WLRN's story failed to dig past the experiences of a scant two bands and a single club owner and, in doing so, failed every single person working hard to disprove the notion that this is a place so inhospitable that only DJs and bottle service can survive here.

See also: Ten Signs South Florida's Music Scene Is Thriving

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Blood Oath Slumber Party Makes Your Walkman Cool Again

New music label, Blood Oath Slumber Party, is mainly all about kicking ass and taking names, but in, they say, a very non-aggressive, unselfish manner. They take South Florida bands to places they've only heard of in high school geography, like New England. 

Label founders Chris Dougnac and Virginia de las Pozas specialize in giving music legs by first encasing it in hard plastic, and then whipping up fancy artwork. 

Originally from Miami, the Bostonian transplants wish to musically bridge the gap between Massachusetts and Florida. This bridge they will forge with cassette tapes.  Within the coming month, B.O.S.P. will distribute the music of local bands Cry Guy, Seductress, Ice Cream, Animal Tropical, the Gun Hoes and This Heart Electric all over Boston, Philadelphia, and South Florida. 

The duo is scheduling their Miami and Fort Lauderdale release dates to coincide with Record Store Day, this April 20. They'll be representing their label at the annual RSD event Sweatstock in Miami. What follows is poetry. 

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MC LMS Weighs In on the Lil Wayne Debacle: "Not Through Threats and Physical Violence but Through Music"


LMS is one of the handful of local MCs whom we like to write about because of their sheer dedication to the game, productivity, sense of community, and in hopes that the locals will awaken to realize the awesome amount of hip-hop that is basically everywhere in South Florida.

While our very own yeyo-addled puppet, Mr. Pepe Billete, already called Lil Wayne out on some shit, LMS is the first of South Florida's hip-hop community to retort musically, and while the result is a sharp-tongued dis to the aptly likened-to-a-Mogwai-after-being-doused-with-water Wayne, the track is a solid jam that delivers on some keen pop-culture humor.

It's wordplay like this that should be noted and revered, not the vomitus afterbirth Mr. Carter continuously pelts his fans with.

See also:
- Lil Wayne Apologizes to Miami and LeBron, but No "Sorry" for Saying He Boned Bosh's Wife (AUDIO)
- Lil Wayne Banned From NBA Games, Blames the Miami Heat; How About Blaming Weezy? (VIDEO)
- The Art of War Emcee Invitational Takes to S Sports Bar Tomorrow Night

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Audio Junkie Starts New Music-Focused Zine; Florida Rejoices

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For over a year, Audio Junkie's DIY documentaries have been spotlighting butt-loads of up and coming musicians from in and out of South Florida. The episodes, ranging from 6 to 18 minutes, are filled with live performances, interviews, and home-brewed animations.

See also:
- DIY Video Journal Audio Junkie Breaks Ground in South Florida

Currently, the series is in its second season. Miami psych crooner Ricardo Guerrero, This Heart Electric, is the fifteenth act slated to be featured by brothers (and Jellyfish Brothers) Greg and Eddy Alvarez, and their creative team.
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Hate Music and Pan con Lechón-Eating, Pembroke Pines Neo-Nazis

Maybe if it said "ENGLISH ONLY, PLEASE"

Regardless of what rumors you've heard, or the excessive and rather inane coverage we give inconsequential humans like the Kardashians, the Wests (and their upcoming hybrid model) and the Biebers of the world; your Broward/Palm Beach New Times has always thought of its readership first and foremost. We strive to provide a voice and a line of interest for the local reader who deserves better than our mainstream counterparts. While we can't cover everything, at times, we try to make amends.

See also:
- Clarity in Neo-Nazi Stabbings at Ritz
- The Forgetters - The Talent Farm, Pembroke Pines - January 7

Imagine the eye-opener suffered by this County Grind correspondent this past Monday while on route to the Forgetters show in west Pembroke Pines, when he realized that the sonic needs and necessities of the White Power community here in Broward County had been ignored for so long?! Especially those armed with a pen, a buttload of ignorant hatred, and with a taste for delicious pan con lechón, cascos de guayaba con queso crema, and fritas.

And to think! These constituents of ours are forced by ethnic expansion to shop at Sedano's! That's right, the image above was taken inside the men's room of the Pines Boulevard store. We'd like to set the record straight, and do so with music.

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¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Huracán Season is Here

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In the spirit of the season, I will lay down for you some hurricane tips and tricks and do's and don't's. Do you dread putting up your shutters like I do? Keep them up all year! It's easier, you only have to do it once and you are always prepared. This method of preparedness adds a level of cave-like darkness to your home, which is really good you return home from a night of doing the Cabbage Patch for 8 hours straight.

If you have no shutters, do what my neighbors did minutes before Hurricane Andrew: get some cardboard and tape them to on your windows. When you run out of cardboard, make an X with 2 large pieces of tape on your window. These methods are symbolic and spiritual only, the cardboard fies away the moment winds hit speeds in excess of 20 mph and the tape just looks really cool. But, it lets the hurricane know that you were thinking about it, and all hurricanes really want is attention. And destruction.More »

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Looking Back at the Poplife

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A summer night in 1999, my friends David, Cali and I rode out to Mezzanote in Coral Gables. He said it was a party, but it looked like a restaurant and sounded like cool music. The DJ was in some corner by the door to the busboys chamber, his name was Alex "Cookie Heads" Caso. Cookie Heads was funny and had an amazing collection of records.

I was very confused by the whole evening. A restaurant in the Gables, people dressed like rockers and most importantly: new music I'd never heard and everyone else was singing along. I sat down at a table to soak it all in. After a few more songs we headed home, smiling. Cali told me to watch the speed limit, Cali has excellent five-oh spotting skills. Still reeling with giddiness, I stared at Cali blankly and told him, "I can speeeeeeeed!"More »

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Walter Mercado For a Day

Editor's Note: In this week's column, José El Rey asked readers to submit questions and he'd "lead them to a better living."

My old lady doesn't love me what should I do?

I hate answering questions with more questions. Do you mean old lady like your mom? No, no, no... Old girl is your mom! That's right. I was stranded in Opa Locka one night and my mom came to pick me up and the neighborhood fellows asked me, "Carlos! That your old girl?" By this point I had accepted that Carlos was slang for Jose, I answered them, "No! That's my mom!" Oh, how they laughed. At any rate, Joseph, if your elderly girlfriend doesn't love you, it is your responsibility to act like you don't love her. More importantly, act like you love many other, older ladies. To look better than her. 
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¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Getting Friendly with Friendswithyou

Bro, everyone is trying to be cool. And act all tough. And act like they don't know me. How did this happen? When did people stop smiling? People have told me that the transition between childhood and adulthood is rough, harsh and loaded with disillusionment. Not the case for me, I have stayed firmly grounded in 1989. Firmly grounded in politeness and hand shaking and cheek kissing and hugging and opening doors for ladies and not getting mad when they slap me for going to far.

Seven years ago, I was at bounce house party at Arturo Sandoval III's house in Miami Springs. We were all way too old to be slip and sliding and bouncing off the walls of the dragon themed castle. We are all far to mature to be giggling and starting pilitas. Hours later, we were resting in Tury and his wife Mel's living room. Tury and (Friendswithyou partner in joy) Sam Borkson were sitting Native-American style and admiring a black penguin like toy named Malfi. Sam admitted to me that, he and Tury designed this little guy and that there were many more to come. More »

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? En Miami La Fiesta is Tight with Basside

I've been driving around town listening to one song. Non-stop. And, if you know me, that's pretty normal; usually the one song is one of my songs. This time the song is "Booty Shorts" by Basside. I swear, if anyone ever asks me what my favorite band is, the answer is "me." I am tempted (not in the usual physiological/sensual way) to say that I have a new favorite band. Pero, no, I cannot say that. I must say this: I have a new favorite band that is not me. And it is Basside.

Basside, just like Miami's most famous tourist shopping mall Bayside, is beautiful, dangerous and in a class of it's own. The two young ladies in this group are so badass that they will invite themselves and all their friends over to your house. They will trash the place. They will steal your beer and Galleticas Hilda, and you will love it. Metaphysically. More »

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