11 Weird and Somewhat Stupid Band Names

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It stands to reason that to brand itself effectively, a band must have a name that's also subversive and memorable. During the initial flush of the British Invasion, parents were forced to ponder the meaning of band handles like the Beatles, Pretty Things, Zombies, the Kinks, and the Who (as to the what and why). Those names seem innocent enough now, compared to many acts today whose titles are geared toward implying idiocy, irony, or insult. We've compiled a list of weird and suggestive band names; they defy the norm and inspire a second glance. Add your favorite horrible band name in the comments.

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Ten Tunes to Welcome Hurricane Season

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Jim Morrison: One stormy personality

Anyone who whines about the fact that South Florida has no change of season ought to bear one thing in mind: We do have at least two seasons -- and sometimes, even three. The first extends six months, from June 1 to November 30 -- an ungodly long portion of the year if you ask us -- and is dubbed Hurricane Season, marked not by the changing of the leaves or a shift in temperature but rather by the intense interest in any little blob forming off the coast of Africa and its subsequent progress on a potentially deadly collision course with that spit of sitting-duck-type terrain otherwise known as Florida.

There's the three months preceding Hurricane Season, generally referred to as "Get ready to panic and prepare for ultimate devastation as predicted by forecasters as far away as Colorado and agreed upon by local officials, media, and meteorologists." We celebrate by conceding that it's not a matter of if but rather when we're going to be wiped off the map.

The third season is an option, but judging by the dire predictions that accompany the second, it's almost a certainty. It's called "Clean up all the shit caused by the storm" season, whereby we go through the devastation of our homes, our lives, our neighborhoods, and then welcome the National Guard and the prospects of living life without electricity for three months.

Ah, what better way to celebrate the passing of the seasons! Given that we're apparently stuck with this rather unfortunate scenario and a ton of rain already since June 1, we here at New Times have come up with a way to mark these circumstances with some musical merriment, namely, top ten songs well-suited for the stormy season.

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Five Tattoo Parlors to Get Inked on Friday the 13th in Broward and West Palm Beach

Categories: On The List

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Broward New Times
Some selections for $13 tats

On Friday the 13th, tattoo parlors nationwide get ready for a rush. Patrons line up, examining body parts, deciding where to place their new $13 tattoo.

Yes, you read that right. It says $13.

Tattoo artists provide illustrations with the number 13 in the design, whether it be numerals, hidden designs or just the plain ol' 1-3. These tattoos cost $13 and are respectably small.

See also: Freaky Friday at Formula Ink: My $13 Friday the 13th Tattoo


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Top 10 Super Bowl Pump-up Songs

Categories: On The List
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Super Bowl XLVI
Let's be honest, Madonna isn't quite the rager you had in mind when getting pumped up for Super Bowl XLVI this weekend. Luckily, we've taken the time to construct a more appropriate 10-song playlist to get the football flavor flowing.

Get ready to put this madness on blast, both leading up to and during the big game where the New England Patriots prepare for a rematch against the New York Giants. And, feel free to mute 'ol Madge and crank up our ditties instead, in case you're in a bit of a half-time slump.  

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Ten Karaoke Songs That Should Be Banned

Categories: On The List
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Don't try to sing like this guy. Please.
​Extensive field research went into this week's New Times feature story highlighting South Florida's local karaoke scene, and some of that research was quite painful. Not only did I embarrass myself onstage but I watched several innocent people mangle songs that should never, ever be performed outside of the shower.

These are songs that breach eight minutes, songs that require you to possess rhythm that you do not possess, and songs that are so slow and cloying that your audience will be either asleep or getting sick. 

Ten of the worst offenders follow below.

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Five of South Florida's Best Karaoke Bars

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Michael McElroy
Pick a song, be a star.
This week's New Times feature story explores the thriving karaoke scene in Broward and Palm Beach counties. If you're looking for a place to channel your inner Kelly Clarkson, there's always a show somewhere -- whether you want to sing in drag, in a dimly lit dive bar, or on a stage with a live band. We can't cram all the options into one list, but here's a sampling of five (in no particular order) to inspire you.


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Rep. Gabrielle Giffords Heads to Florida: Five Songs to Toast Her Arrival

Categories: News, On The List
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"I will survive!"
Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is on her way to Florida today to watch the space shuttle Endeavour launch this Friday. Her husband will be on board in his first mission since Giffords was shot in the head, allegedly by Jared Lee Loughner, in January.

Giffords has made an impressive recovery since the shooting attack that killed six of her supporters and injured Giffords and 18 others.

That's the kind of bravery we commend here at County Grind. So here's a toast to Gabrielle Giffords presented in the form we know best -- music!



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Top Five Tips From Lil Wayne's Jail Cell for LeBron, Bosh, and Wade

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Flickr: kingofadraag
Lil Wayne knows what's up in SoFla sports
Just when you thought the LeBron-Bosh-Wade water-cooler talk was dying down, BAM -- it hit the prisons. Reporting (live!) from Rikers Island, inmate #02516544L -- more commonly known as Lil Wayne -- weighed in on his blog today about LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade's decision to join the Miami Heat:

"I believe that this Miami team will be explosive as intended. Anything less than an NBA championship title will be uncivilized," he wrote. "72-10 anybody? Well with Wade at the 1 and Lebron at the 2 or vice versa even, or Mario Chalmers at the 1, Wade at the 2, and Bron at the 3... Wow!"

His tips on how to make it happen, and more, after the jump:

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On the List: Rising Up From the Dead Just in Time for Halloween

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Oooooohhh! This is the ghost of nightlife past coming to haunt your dreams of weekend debauchery. It's been a while since I've recapped all there is to do across the Magic City, but let's hope I can revive the column from the dead for what's left of 2009.

If you've been vigilant you know that I've already written previews for The Other Hollywood at Awarehouse, Tera-Ween at Cameo, The Cat's Meow at the Raleigh, Playboy Halloween Party at the Shore Club, and "Devil's Disciple" After-party with Busy P at Electric Pickle, so no need to rehash those. But there plenty more Miami scares to be had all weekend long:

Brooklyn's Tommie Sunshine is back to haunt us with sounds of electro past. The DJ/producer takes over the decks at Louis at the Gansevoort (2325 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) Friday night. If you want a real scare, Louis' door policy will take care of that.

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On the List: Alexandra Richards, Discosh*t and Felix Cartal

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Last time we posted it was in May. Why? Because you're boring us Miami! Same shit every weekend over and over again. We thought the economic crisis would force clubs and promoters to get creative -- obviously, they don't care they are hemorrhaging money. Whatever, Miami can use one or ten less "ultra lounges."

But in case you are looking to party all weekend long, here is what you don't want to miss:

Let's hope she didn't inherit his smoking habit because Alexandra Richards, daughter of Keith Richards, is going to need plenty of endurance when she spins at Misfit Fridays tonight at Louis at the Gansevoort. The model/DJ might not have the skills of say, Erol Alkan, but she's pretty to look at.

Parkwest has been rechristened as Fame, despite our previous reports (which we still stand by). The party officially starts tonight with DJ Nikolas, but the real fun seems to happen Saturday morning, with its premiere of Discosh*t. The party starts at 4 a.m. with DJ Cocodrills. We haven't been to Fame yet, but we are hoping it brought back Twilo's old lighting system that could only have been described as Daft Punk-esque and better than LIV's current light effects.

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