Liz Tracy

Continued from Part 1:
"Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Reveal More Than Bare Asses"

A 29-year old ginger with a low ponytail, Chris, came in from Washington State, where he and his wife help organize Vita Nuda, another naturist organization. Annette, as it turns out, is a 21-year old student from Westin who grew up getting naked with the family. She was at this Spring Bash with her brother and twin sister, their seventh bash. "It's not a big deal in our family," she said matter-of-factly, "I'd say we're very liberal... I guess." And we all laughed.

Chris clarified that whole point in coming here isn't about getting undressed in front of people, but rather it allows you to do the things you can't do at home naked, "It's not so much about being in public, it's about being able to do other things." They can play volleyball (again...), swim, and watch a band. We then discussed the uselessness of bathing suits.

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Liz Tracy

The drive out to Sunsport Gardens, a family naturist resort near Wellington, was an exercise in endurance. Finally off the Turnpike, one thunderstorm later, and somewhere near the Everglades, I passed a sign for a gun show, drove by a Starbucks and Jamba Juice. You know, swamp necessities. Not long after what seemed to be the last Publix on the Earth, I made a right turn onto a well-kept dirt road that led to the place where naked people play.

Loxahatchee Groves is, surprisingly, quite lovely. Where you'd think trailer parks squatted on gnarled plots of land, there are mostly plant nurseries and ranch-style homes with groomed but voluptuous greenery. The area is also about a million miles away from wherever it is that you live. After what felt like three hours, but was realistically two miles, I reached their gate, monitored by surveillance cameras. Behind it, I was the weirdo in a bathing suit with hangups trying to score a conversation with younger nudists here for the annual Florida Young Naturists' Spring Bash.

See also
- Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Talk About Intimacy, Hairy Pits, and Freedom (NSFW)

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Yum! No substitutions please!

Breastaurants are not new. Marrying the appeal of breasts with suds and grilled meats dates back to the dawn of man. Organized versions of this traditional method of consumption can probably be traced back to the early '80s and the introduction of the Hooters franchise. And while that franchise has largely shunned the remarkably awesome tackiness of its past, two relatively younger franchises will be opening in our backyard soon to pick up the slack.

Described as a Scottish version of Hooters, the Tilted Kilt promises traditional Scottish fare like mozzarella sticks and nachos, anachronisms that will surely be ignored by the reflected lighting on supple female flesh. The spicy chipotle chicken at the other newcomer, the Twin Peaks restaurant is closer to truth in advertisement... don't expect Audrey Horne twisting anything in her mouth here, but expect a lot of wood chopped with those lumber-gal outfits.

See also:
- Breastaurants Will Be Hitting Up Hallandale and Weston in the Coming Months UPDATED

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AF

Maybe if it said "ENGLISH ONLY, PLEASE"

Regardless of what rumors you've heard, or the excessive and rather inane coverage we give inconsequential humans like the Kardashians, the Wests (and their upcoming hybrid model) and the Biebers of the world; your Broward/Palm Beach New Times has always thought of its readership first and foremost. We strive to provide a voice and a line of interest for the local reader who deserves better than our mainstream counterparts. While we can't cover everything, at times, we try to make amends.

See also:
- Clarity in Neo-Nazi Stabbings at Ritz
- The Forgetters - The Talent Farm, Pembroke Pines - January 7

Imagine the eye-opener suffered by this County Grind correspondent this past Monday while on route to the Forgetters show in west Pembroke Pines, when he realized that the sonic needs and necessities of the White Power community here in Broward County had been ignored for so long?! Especially those armed with a pen, a buttload of ignorant hatred, and with a taste for delicious pan con lechón, cascos de guayaba con queso crema, and fritas.

And to think! These constituents of ours are forced by ethnic expansion to shop at Sedano's! That's right, the image above was taken inside the men's room of the Pines Boulevard store. We'd like to set the record straight, and do so with music.

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Before Kanye, there was Ray J. And the internet has the footage to prove it!

Rap music and pornography go together like love and marriage, which, in turn, go together like a horse and carriage.

Try playing 90 percent of hip-hop for your parents and, almost immediately, the genre's persistent obsession with the world of quiver-inducing carnal delights will either gravely offend them or make them blush. Play it for your grandparents and it will fucking kill them.

Rappers sing so much about sex (oral, anal, vaginal, group, expensive, etc.) that you would think the industry uses the BBC section of porn tubes to search for talent. But in actuality, it's usually MCs turning into adult actors rather than the other way around. Here are County Grind's Top Ten rap celebs moonlighting as smut stars. More »

Our interview was supposed to be scheduled with David Brockie, the mastermind behind long-running theatrical rock outfit GWAR. But when we called the number given to us by the band's manager, the phone rang one and half measures before we heard the booming voice of a used car salesman moonlighting as a carny.

"Hi! This is Oderus Urungus, from the National Breast Cancer Society!" 
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Yo, we can't hate on Lady Gaga for gaining a few pounds recently and looking normal. So how could we diss on her nipple slip yesterday while doing a titty shoot with Donatella Versace and Terry Richardson? We can't! Girl, let it all hang out. More »

Kenny Millions is F*cked-Up!

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Interview with Robb Bank$
Robb Bank$, Best Hip-Hop Artist, New Times Broward Palm Beach
Spaceghostpurrp interview on Miami New Times

Robb Bank$ may be barely out of boyhood, but he has the deep and alluring voice of a man. It sucks the listener in on his new track "Like That," a collaboration with fellow South Floridian Spaceghostpurrp who both produced and is featured on the song. Bank$' clean flow grounds SGP's hauntingly spooky beats. With their rhymes, both play with the verbal tempo, creating a many layered, greatly listenable song.

This isn't the first time they've worked together. Remember "Look Like Basquiat"? It was good, but this is better.

Off of Bank$ upcoming Year of the Savage, "Like That" was uploaded to YouTube on Friday and already it has more than 12,000 views. Not bad for a guy just out of high school. Sure, yeah, he's partnered with the head of the Raider Klan, one of the most deliciously rough yet conceptual crews in hip-hop today, but still, we're proud of our Broward boy. Listen to "Like That" here.

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