SuicideGirls Came to Fort Lauderdale and Showed Some Boob (NSFW)

Categories: NSFW?

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Alex Markow

"Do you want to see some titties?"

With a rebel yell, the SuicideGirls let everyone know, this is not your grandma's burlesque troupe. Most of the ladies we know who engage in the tasteful strip are quick to point out the French art of tease's higher level of class and creativity.

The Blackheart Burlesque troupe is certainly creative, and holy shit can they dance, but they make no bones about the fact that they're hocking a soft porn site. They don't give a shit about being demure. They just want to make sure you upload your pics with #DatAss.

See also: Slideshow of Suicide Girls at Culture Room in Fort Lauderdale

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First Florida Burlesque Festival Starts Tomorrow at Cinema Paradiso

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This state's very first Florida Burlesque Festival will take place this weekend at Fort Lauderdale's eccentric hot-spot Cinema Paradiso. Before you start thinking it's just another cheap peep show adorned with pasties and glitter, executive producer Bambi LaFleur is quick to dispel any misconceptions.

"As many people in Florida don't know," she began in her breathy voice," around the world and in the U.S., there are strong communities that have burlesque fests. It doesn't seem right that we don't celebrate it here. I wanted to bring it back for that reason," she continued, laughingly adding: "Most people think it's the movie [2010's Burlesque]. It's not the movie! The movie has nothing to do what burlesque really is."

In fact, the fest has a local and personal slant. It's dedicated to late pinup model and photographer Bunny Yeager, a friend of LaFleur's who passed away this May.

See also: Bunny Yeager to Attend Her Sexy Pinup Show in Palm Beach


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EXXXotica 2013: Porn Stars Joanna Angel, Cherokee Dass, and Gaia Talk Kinks (NSFW VIDEO)

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What do you get when you put a bunch of porn stars, their loyal fans, clicking cameras, and slick dildos into the Broward County Convention Center? A lot of exposed boobs, wildly pumping hormones, and pretty great interviews.

While EXXXotica raged around us, we got some alone time with a couple of the most fantastic porn gals of the expo. There was the fantastically-endowed Cherokee Dass who showed us the body part that's brought her fame. We talked to Joanna Angel about gang bangs. Then there was Gaia, perhaps one of the most earnestly filthy chicks we've ever encountered who told us about, well, you're going to have to hear it for yourself.

What follows is a video that will inform you of the inner sensual lives of these beautiful and each very different porn goddesses that all have one very particular thing in common.

See also:
- Photos: Exxxotica 2013 at Broward County Convention Center (NSFW)
- Ten Best Stripper Dance Moves of Exxxotica 2013 in Animated GIFs (NSFW)
- EXXXotica 2013: A Germaphobe's First Porn Expo

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Ten Best Stripper Dance Moves of Exxxotica 2013 in Animated GIFs (NSFW)

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Ian Witlen
Exxxotica 2013 seduced Fort Lauderdale like a stripper doing handstands; and the business of the art of sex washed over Broward County in a veritable table shower of adult entertainment.

Indeed, the porn convention shook, bounced, and twirled around the pole till every last dollar in our pocket was stuffed in the collective g-string of the industry.

And we saw more half naked acrobats than a backroom at the circus. Here are the top 10 stripper moves of Exxxotica in animated GIFs.

See also:
- Photos: Exxxotica 2013 at Broward County Convention Center (NSFW)
- EXXXotica 2013: A Germaphobe's First Porn Expo

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EXXXotica 2013: A Germaphobe's First Porn Expo

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@abelf77 (Instagram)
Lovely locals from Solid Gold
Chapter One: An Innocuous Plea to Get You on My Side (Even Though I Have Nothing to Offer, Like the People I Will Be in Immediate Contact with Might)

I am neither saint nor devil. I am not here nor there. I don't exist in the classical sense, yet I am part of your peripherals. I am nothing and everything. I am Herman Hesse's Abraxas; Earth Mother, troglodyte and demon deity. My predictions on football (read: soccer) are top notch, bar none and all-encompassing truths. I know a thing or two.

I also know that light switches need to be clicked up and down at least three times before we are sure they are properly turned off. Maybe I have some compulsions, maybe I don't. Whatever I got, works for me.

I've had the small journalistic fortune to be awarded certain jobs by my sheriffs that stem completely out of my norm. As much as I'd like to liken myself to Stephen King's "Gunslinger" in the Dark Tower series or to Zane (Xanathos) in Pierce Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality opus, I'm but a shadow cast in late August.

Bottom line is, I'm the last guy you'd like involved in the midst of violent gonad purges. Aside from ostensibly pretentious musings of the high order concerning pornography; know this my sweet readers, all three of you: I have nothing against this multi-million enterprise.

See also:
- Photos: Exxxotica 2013 at Broward County Convention Center (NSFW)
- Ten Best Stripper Dance Moves of Exxxotica 2013 in Animated GIFs (NSFW)

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Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Talk About Intimacy, Hairy Pits, and Freedom (NSFW)

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Liz Tracy
Continued from Part 1:
"Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Reveal More Than Bare Asses"

A 29-year old ginger with a low ponytail, Chris, came in from Washington State, where he and his wife help organize Vita Nuda, another naturist organization. Annette, as it turns out, is a 21-year old student from Westin who grew up getting naked with the family. She was at this Spring Bash with her brother and twin sister, their seventh bash. "It's not a big deal in our family," she said matter-of-factly, "I'd say we're very liberal... I guess." And we all laughed.

Chris clarified that whole point in coming here isn't about getting undressed in front of people, but rather it allows you to do the things you can't do at home naked, "It's not so much about being in public, it's about being able to do other things." They can play volleyball (again...), swim, and watch a band. We then discussed the uselessness of bathing suits.


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Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Reveal More Than Bare Asses (NSFW)

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Liz Tracy
The drive out to Sunsport Gardens, a family naturist resort near Wellington, was an exercise in endurance. Finally off the Turnpike, one thunderstorm later, and somewhere near the Everglades, I passed a sign for a gun show, drove by a Starbucks and Jamba Juice. You know, swamp necessities. Not long after what seemed to be the last Publix on the Earth, I made a right turn onto a well-kept dirt road that led to the place where naked people play.

Loxahatchee Groves is, surprisingly, quite lovely. Where you'd think trailer parks squatted on gnarled plots of land, there are mostly plant nurseries and ranch-style homes with groomed but voluptuous greenery. The area is also about a million miles away from wherever it is that you live. After what felt like three hours, but was realistically two miles, I reached their gate, monitored by surveillance cameras. Behind it, I was the weirdo in a bathing suit with hangups trying to score a conversation with younger nudists here for the annual Florida Young Naturists' Spring Bash.

See also
- Young Nudists at Sunsport Gardens Naturist Resort Talk About Intimacy, Hairy Pits, and Freedom (NSFW)


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Top 10 Reasons to Get Totally Nude at the Florida Young Naturists' Naked Spring Bash (NSFW)

Categories: NSFW?
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"The freedom of being nude in nature and in the elements brings one a child-like feeling." This is the guiding principle behind the Florida Young Naturists, a West Palm Beach-based network of young people who coordinate festivals and gatherings with the goal of promoting freedom and body acceptance across all races, religions, and sexual orientations.

The events take place in Florida, but you don't have to be a resident to attend -- you don't even have to get fully nude to revel in the pure, invigorating splendor that comes with dressing the way nature really intended.

That's why, even if the last time anyone saw you stripped down to your skivvies in a non-sexual situation was during your seventh grade physical, we're giving you 10 solid reasons why attending this weekend's fifth annual FYN Naked Spring Bash is a really great idea.  

See also

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Breastaurant Playlist: Songs About Boobies

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Yum! No substitutions please!

Breastaurants are not new. Marrying the appeal of breasts with suds and grilled meats dates back to the dawn of man. Organized versions of this traditional method of consumption can probably be traced back to the early '80s and the introduction of the Hooters franchise. And while that franchise has largely shunned the remarkably awesome tackiness of its past, two relatively younger franchises will be opening in our backyard soon to pick up the slack.

Described as a Scottish version of Hooters, the Tilted Kilt promises traditional Scottish fare like mozzarella sticks and nachos, anachronisms that will surely be ignored by the reflected lighting on supple female flesh. The spicy chipotle chicken at the other newcomer, the Twin Peaks restaurant is closer to truth in advertisement... don't expect Audrey Horne twisting anything in her mouth here, but expect a lot of wood chopped with those lumber-gal outfits.

See also:
- Breastaurants Will Be Hitting Up Hallandale and Weston in the Coming Months UPDATED

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Hate Music and Pan con Lechón-Eating, Pembroke Pines Neo-Nazis

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AF
Maybe if it said "ENGLISH ONLY, PLEASE"

Regardless of what rumors you've heard, or the excessive and rather inane coverage we give inconsequential humans like the Kardashians, the Wests (and their upcoming hybrid model) and the Biebers of the world; your Broward/Palm Beach New Times has always thought of its readership first and foremost. We strive to provide a voice and a line of interest for the local reader who deserves better than our mainstream counterparts. While we can't cover everything, at times, we try to make amends.

See also:
- Clarity in Neo-Nazi Stabbings at Ritz
- The Forgetters - The Talent Farm, Pembroke Pines - January 7

Imagine the eye-opener suffered by this County Grind correspondent this past Monday while on route to the Forgetters show in west Pembroke Pines, when he realized that the sonic needs and necessities of the White Power community here in Broward County had been ignored for so long?! Especially those armed with a pen, a buttload of ignorant hatred, and with a taste for delicious pan con lechón, cascos de guayaba con queso crema, and fritas.

And to think! These constituents of ours are forced by ethnic expansion to shop at Sedano's! That's right, the image above was taken inside the men's room of the Pines Boulevard store. We'd like to set the record straight, and do so with music.

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