Top Ten Not-So-Jolly Holiday Tunes

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Oh, the joyous season! A time when we gather with friends and family, snuggle on the couch with full bellies. Chestnuts roast, and we watch A Charlie Brown Christmas or the Wizard of Oz. Andy Williams sums it up best with his 1962 classic: "It's the most wonderful time of the year." 

Yes, indeed it is wondrous for many, but not all. So many of us have shed tears in our eggnog, haven't we? This time of happiness can be extra lonely/frustrating/alienating for those of us without a family/significant other/job. Not everyone experiences the rush of holiday cheer. Some of us want to throw eggs at Christmas carolers, or at mini vans with those obnoxious reindeer antlers.

With that in mind, let's wallow in self-pity together and listen to the ultimate not-so-jolly holiday songs. Check out our list of the 10 most unhappy holiday songs after the jump. 



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Perfect Election Day Playlist to Pump You Up While Waiting in a Gargantuan Line to Vote Florida-Style

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And the winner is... You! Cause you've got this mix to get ya through your day. 

Good morning, Americans! It's time again to exercise your civic duties. Time to argue with your brethren about Mittens this and Hussein that. Time to demand recounts and wait eight hours in line to cast your ballot.

See also 
- Fresh Out of the Deck: Romney's Mixtape for Obama

We know how important our votes are in Florida. If we didn't, we wouldn't be stealing our neighbor's yard signs, or ranting till the sun came up on Facebook, placing road blocks in poor neighborhoods, or waiting in line eight hours... 

A lot is riding on this election, so it's easy to feel nervous or stressed or totally overwhelmed by the outcome. But fear not, for music will tame that angst-y, savage, political beast within. March boldly into the voting booth and do your part. We'll do this rest with this high-velocity, balls-to-the-wall, Election Day playlist that's sure to get the red and white blood cells pumping through your blue veins.
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Fresh Out of the Deck: Mitt Romney's Mixtape for Barack Obama

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I'm not pointing, I'm about to hit play on this bitch!

Boy is this race getting heated! We, of course, refrain from overt political commentary within these pages because the New Times, and County Grind more precisely, aim to maintain an air of decorum and bipartisan neutrality. It's your vote, we do not want to sway your decision-making process with cutesy blogs about the candidates.

See also:
Fresh Out of the Deck: Obama's Mixtape for Romney

- 10 Songs Dedicated to Barack Obama

Nope, impartiality is the rule around this office. However, since we did get cheeky and report parts of the mixtape that Obama made for Romney, we waited with baited breath for Romney's camp to reciprocate. We're happy to see the candidates engage in a clean campaign that echoes the golden days of the American Tape Traders Network. Who knew these cats were so old school?


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Fresh Out of the Deck: Obama's Mixtape for Romney

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My Walkman is tight holmes, tight!

Here at County Grind we thought it wise to refrain from overt political leniencies during these electoral times. And we know how some of you think, that we're too flung one way or the other, and according to some elderly gentlemen outside of our favorite cafecito window, we're "un periodiquito izquierdizta".

Uhm, oooooookay.

See also:
-Presidential Debate 2012: Lynn University Students Pool Party and Talk Birth Control, Sexual Tension, and Binders of Women (VIDEO)
-Presidential Debate 2012: Pauly Shore on Encino Man and Touré on Romney as a Musical Genre (VIDEO)
-PHOTOS: Final 2012 Presidential Debate at Lynn University Slideshow

However, since we only care about music (and maybe your clicks), we can take a jovial look into these past debates and share with you the recently dubbed mixed-tape that President Obama made for Romney. It's true! Obama's already known for his eclectic sense of music that borders on dashiki folk pop, and as Commander in Chief, probably gets juicier music gigs that we lowly scribes could only dream of. So here's a sample of what's "in the mail" for presidential hopeful Mitt Romney.

We'll of course post his retort once he dusts his hi-fi and gets to selecting.


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Fiercest National Coming Out Day Playlist Ever

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It's been a pretty decent past few years for the gay community. You guys got silver fox Anderson Cooper for sursies and young buck Frank Ocean too. Don't ask don't tell was overturned and you can get married, sort of, in like 16 states. Sure, shooting for 50, but you gotta start somewhere. And for those of you ready to come out that closet, today, National Coming Out Day, is the time and where ever you are is the place.

We put together ten of the fiercest pop tunes about or related to coming out to get you in the mood to spill the gay beans.


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Cycling Soundtrack for Biketopia, Massive Bicycle Awareness Bash at America's Backyard

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When Shelly Duell moved to Florida from Woodstock, New York, she didn't spend much time cycling. But with a little help from friends, she says, "I started riding more around the city for fun." It was then that she found out about bike polo and Critical Mass and got SoFla bike fever. 

An employee of the Revolution/America's Backyard complex, she decided to get all ends of the community together for Biketopia. Duell notes it's to celebrate the love for biking together as one large group." This Sunday, the tricounty area's cyclists will gather for all sorts of bike games, food, drinking, and live music. "Some groups are collecting donated bikes and bike parts," Duell adds, "like the Promise Foundation, which gives bikes to and teaches kids about safety and children with autism and MS how to ride bikes." 

We asked Duell what her Biketopia playlist would sound like, and she brought out the Pretty Lights and Bassnectar. Click on for the list of musical acts participating at Biketopia and for Duell's cycling soundtrack. 


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Ten Worst, Most Morbid Songs to Listen to While Riding Your Bicycle

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Ivan Santiago
Not sure if you all saw last week, but Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union rode out Miami's Critical Mass. The popular ride is usually like a mile long (or so it seems), but the addition of these two fancypants cyclists proves that South Florida is 100 percent bike-tastic, and D-Wade is totally the coolest Heat player (get on a bike, Udonis!).

Broward County is booming with bike events too. There are biweekly bike polo games, pub crawls, a Critical Mass, and even an upcoming bicycle awareness party, Biketopia, at America's Backyard.

All this biking and not enough lanes for cyclists leads one to think morbid thoughts at times while on two wheels. Sometimes the soundtrack to your biking can increase these terrible thoughts and anxieties. To help you avoid those moments, we compiled a list of songs you should probably never listen to when on the seat of a bike.

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Rick Ross King of Diamonds Release Party Very Unofficial Pre-Game Mixtape

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See also:
Rick Ross Meets Rick Ross at Pembroke Pines Best Buy (Video)

DIY Make Your Own Rick Ross Beard
Rick Ross' God Forgives, I Don't Release Party on August 4; Things to Consider Before Making It Rain at King of Diamonds

We've had an overwhelmingly Bawse-centric week here at County Grind. First we posted what can be summed up as a God Forgives I Don't Record Release Party Survival Guide. Next, we made our own Bawse beards. Then we went over to the Pembroke Pines Best Buy and even met Rick Ross while pretending to be Rick Ross.

What's next? Well, the actual release party at King of Diamonds, of course! One of our survival guide pre-party suggestions involved conjuring up a mixtape, or iPod playlist, if you must, of real hood ass tunes to get your blood pumping on the way to "da" club.

We're gonna take care of that one for you here, make life easier as you scrounge around under the couch looking for dollars to throw around at KoD. Here is a Pre-KoD Bawse Record Release Party Mixtape, presented to you by Country Grind.
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Oklahoma City Songs Versus Miami Songs: A 2012 NBA Finals Mixtape

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Winners. 
With Miami Heat obsessives anxiously gearing up for game five of the NBA Finals at American Airlines arena, the equally excited fans here at County Grind thought it wise to provide you with a soundtrack for what promises to be a very nerve-racking 48-minutes of game time. Hopefully during which, LeBron, Wade, Chalmers, and the gang will show us a thing or two about how to play really good basketball. 

This 10-song mixtape gives respect to the music of both Oklahoma City and Miami, featuring five artists from each city. While the series is currently tipped in Miami's favor at 3-1, the Heat still need to defend on their home turf or risk the chance of having to close the Finals in Oklahoma City. This will truly be a contest for the ages. Good thing you've got the appropriate background music right here.



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A Miami Heat Fan Trials and Tribulations Mixtape, Just In Time For Game Six

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Editor's Note to the rest of the NBA: Our coach is hotter than your coach.  

Last Tuesday night, this reporter had the good fortune and equally agonizing experience of attending the Miami Heat playoff game versus the Boston Celtics. Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals was a tremendous roller coaster ride. Watching Lebron James and company get out of the gate with instant fervor, and hearing the uproar of the crowd as Chris Bosh made his return after missing nine games with a lower abdominal strain, was tremendously uplifting.

Those momentary feelings of joy and delight were fleeting, soon replaced by emotions of frustration and distress as we watched the seasoned Celtics veterans chip away at the Heat's lead and ultimately capitalize on timely breaks to steal this victory from the Heat on our home floor.

On the ride home, listening to sports talk radio (yes folks, sometimes music critics listen to sports talk, it's true,) we couldn't believe the level of negativity and pessimism that callers were emitting. It seemed as if the town has already given up on the Big Three. The radio show host was even assenting with the callers, almost calling for the head of coach Eric Spoelstra, because of questionable decisions regarding Bosh's playing time (a very impressive 14 minutes, where he scored nine points and grabbed seven rebounds). 

It's no wonder Heat fans come under such a barrage from the rest of the NBA fans! Our point is, yes, the Heat are down, but they are definitely not out. Bosh will certainly play a larger role in Game 6. Additionally, we have faith that Dwayne Wade will break from his first half slump.

So with rally caps on, we put together this here listicle as part of a cathartic process, hoping to deal with Heat fans' chagrin over the three straight losses and, with any luck, give them a brightener sense of optimism for the next TWO games that lie ahead (actually, six more wins that lie ahead right, Heat fans. RIGHT?!) More »

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