Broward and Palm Beach County's 4/20 Party Guide

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Photo by Molly Bergen
Happy 4/20!

Medical marijuana may not be legal in Florida just yet, but that doesn't mean pot enthusiasts everywhere won't smoke their brains out on 4/20.

So in celebration of National Smoke-Out Day, we've provided you with some of the best herb parties going down in BroCo and Palm Beach.

Now go puff and be merry.

See also: Ten Songs That Could Be Used in Marijuana Commercials


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Tortuga Music Festival 2014's Ten Hottest Beach Bods

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Alex Markow

Our little corner of the world often gets high praise for all of the attractive people who congregate here. It's hot, we wear less, and thus we gym often. At Tortuga Music Festival, things were no different from your average beach day. We spent it ogling above-average sunbathers.

To the sounds of Ziggy Marley and Eric Church, sundresses dropped, muscle shirts were tossed aside, and the beachside became supersexy. Though the sand was swarming with toned bods, what follows are just ten of the hottest concertgoers who caught our eye.


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Five Reasons Tyler the Creator Is a Sophomoric Genius

Categories: list

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Katrina Nattress

If you're over the age of 25, you may look at Tyler the Creator and his Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All crew like some kind of skate-park rat horsemen of the cultural apocalypse. Aren't they the kids who run around talking about homophobia and dick cheese and slappin' bitches?

Well, yes and no. They do have an affinity for colorful language and touchy subject matters, but they're not doing it for no good reason. Tyler and his playful pals are kind of satirical geniuses, and if you take the time to actually listen to their lyrical content, you'll find the messages run much deeper than schoolyard nicknames and common denominators.
Don't believe us? Here are five reasons you'd be ignorant to consider Tyler an ignoramus.


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Five Musical Ways to Cope With Your Long Commute

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Mike Rice
Is most of your life spent in a vessel like this, but way crappier? Then this list is for you.

Do you fear that too much of your life is spent on the road? Do you see your own mortality in the wide, grey, dismal tone of the turnpike? Do you feel your impermanence and the fleeting nature of time in the pit of your stomach while you struggle in futile attempts to listen to some halfway decent music, finally surrendering and choosing silence instead?Then this is the article for you!

Living in Broward or Palm Beach counties mean you're spending long hours in your car. Whether to visit your bubbie, get to work, or hit up the club. We here at County Grind feel your pain -- we're called County Grind for fuck's sake! -- and we specialize in sound, so we've compiled a list of musical ways to cope with your grueling commute. You're welcome!


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Six Songs to Avoid When You're Hungover

Categories: The Hangover, list

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Taylor Hamby

When you wake up with a hangover, every light gets a little brighter, every sound gets a little louder, and every person in your bed gets a little uglier. That's why you have to tread lightly after a night on the town. There are foods you eat and food you don't eat. There are things you drink, and things you don't drink.

And as any hungover person who has unknowingly turned on their car to a radio at full blast knows, there are songs you avoid. Go ahead and put these six on the list.


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Celebrity New Year's Resolutions 2014

Categories: list

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Twitter

Here at New Times, we are infamous for glorifying the rich and famous and mocking all the stupid things they do. That being said, we decided to create a kinder list for New Year's, giving some celebs advice on which resolutions they should make this 2014. A lot of these guys need a ton of work, and we're just here to help.

So, without further ado, here is our list. See if any of your favorites made this shameful list.

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What to Buy Your Millennial for Christmas

Categories: list

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Photo by Sayre Berman
If you happen to live with or be related to a millennial, then you're probably familiar with this process. Every year, around the start of December, you'll get a text or an email, or maybe just an iPad slipped under your door. Somehow your millennial will electronically send you a list of shit they want.

It's Christmas time, which for them means only one thing: Presents! Things! New stuff to accidently drop in the toilet!

But if your millennial was too busy to get you a list this year, don't worry. I'm going to tell you what to get them.


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Ten People You'll Party With at Hard Rock Live Hollywood

Categories: list

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Sayre Berman

The Hard Rock crowd isn't all swamp-loving, Hawaiian shirt-wearing gamblers or fans of the Improv too wasted to drive home. Nope. There's a slew of sorts of people to party with out at this Hollywood casino. And the best folks to get down with, you'll likely find at the aptly titled concert venue, Hard Rock Live. It's there that comedians like Bill Maher and musical legends like Willie Nelson bring out the greatest and the weirdest South Florida has to offer.

With this list, we attempt to define the ten people you'll party with at Hard Rock Live in Hollywood.


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Ten Best 2013 Labor Day Parties in Broward and Palm Beach

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Yep, partying is hard labor... Especially if it's with the "Masta Blasta."
America may be one of the hardest working countries in the world. But in South Florida, we're known to party even harder than we even work.

So it only makes perfect sense that we celebrate Labor Day by spending our hard-earned cash on parties, music, booze, and general debauchery. After all, you deserve to reward yourself for all of those hours spent slaving away in your cubicle.

Check out the ten best Labor Day bashes going down this weekend.

See also: New Times' Concert Calendar

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Dillon Francis' Top Five Trolls of All Time

Categories: Heads Up, list

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Wikipedia defines a "troll" as "a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people... with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion."

Some trolls are less evil than others, though. Some trolls just want to lie about their identity and give you free tacos. Some trolls are just Dillon Francis.

Actually, Dillon Francis is the biggest troll in dance music. He gives not a single fuck, nor the slightest of shits. Random is his medium of choice, whether it comes to marketing schemes, music video treatments, or just being in the studio. He's made a career of being the most random guy in the game, but these are definitely his top five most creative and memorable trolls.

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