Grateful Dead

As real as you

​​As of yet, there has been no verified reincarnation of Jerry Garcia on this planet. That means that he may very well still be swirling free in the cosmos, perfectly able to work magic wherever and whenever he pleases. He was pretty much the psychedelic Santa while embodied, and now we're thinking he is only more-so without the physical constraints of humanness. Indeed, the more we think about it, stoned, the more likely it seems that Jerry and Santa are looking into each other's twinkling eyes at this very moment, imagining the gifts they will bestow upon us this holiday season.

For those of you who are not blinded by the assertions of low-vibration individuals who claim that Jerry, Santa, and magic are all fictitious, and who may be curious as to what sorts other-dimensional characters you may be in the presence of this holiday season, County Grind would like to offer a brief list of indicators and pointers to help you identify some of the mysterious phenomenon you may observe, and respond appropriately. Having this guide in your shirt pocket makes you the equivalent of a psychedelic bird watcher. Though, you'll have to come up with your own 5D binoculars.

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The Stapp Family's 2010 Christmas card.

​The City of Delray Beach's holiday festivities had a surprising postgrunge potency Thursday evening as Creed lead singer took the stage to sing Irving Berlin's "White Christmas." Popularized by Bing Crosby, the 70-year-old song has been past through the hands of countless musicians since, including Elvis Presley, the Supremes, Bob Marley, the New Kids on the Block, and Lady Gaga.

"I wanted to come rock with you guys," Stapp, dressed in a jacket and cap, said in a brief introduction. Although the picture quality of the video isn't great, it's clear right away whom we're dealing with.

Backed only by an acoustic guitar, he put his own stamp on the holiday classic immediately. Whereas some of the artists in the past have chosen melisma-rich swoops on the "I'm" beginning each stanza, the singer sped up the tune a bit and delivered his notes with some punch closer to Bruce Springsteen's take on "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." 

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Beck wants robots to celebrate the holidays too.

​So it's that time of year again; tacky decorations abound, people in malls start to get that panicked look in their eyes, and every grocery store, gas station, and Starbucks blasts the same, tired old holiday songs (which is the most likely culprit for the season's elevated suicide rates). Because we love you, we compiled a list of the best alternative holiday songs. Some are thoughtful and eloquent, some are lovably tacky, but all were chosen because they embody the true spirit of the holidays. Pour yourself a Santa-sized glass of eggnog (that means... don't skimp on the bourbon!) and cuddle up close to your Yuletide computer screen; this is our holiday gift to you.
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One way to have a twisted Christmas.

​No, County Grind is not a consistent source of couture commentary, but everyone needs a clean T-shirt or a ready-made gift idea from time to time. Since this one comes courtesy of a brick-and-mortar music purveyor, we'll bite. Add that Radio-Active Records' line of T's is not emblazoned with the store's name (unlike this blog posting) and there's something borderline subversive going on here.

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​Rivaling "Christmas Party," we applaud the Walkmen's choice to revamp Lindsey Buckingham's infectious solo single "Holiday Road" -- probably best-known for its nonseasonal association with Chevy Chase. Yes, the track took off with its placement in National Lampoon's Vacation, and all of its sequels -- except Christmas Vacation, interestingly. The fellas are unsurprisingly comfortable working through the rockabilly changes for the AV Club's Holiday Undercover promo.

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​Following Vanilla Ice's ode to Halloween (and himself) featuring Insane Clown Posse's Violent J and knowing his propensity for holiday cheer, which manifests in his December 11 at Feelgoods in West Palm Beach, it's not a stretch to think he's in favor of this slightly twisted push to help the needy.

MTV reports that the Insane Clown Posse has put out a hilariously crass video hosted by Sweet Sugar Slam outlining the hardships of the holidays ("Did you know the suicide rate more than doubles this time of year? Yes, it does, bitch."), and our Juggalo offspring need "shit like extra-expensive super Wiis" and "nucular [sic] Nerf guns." Please view, and then go do your fucking charitable part.

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Even Echobelly's Sonya Madan knows you ate too much.

​In 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, made Thanksgiving a national holiday -- a day when we could pay tribute to everything we had: family, friends, a good harvest. A great deal of us will spend Turkey Day recuperating from the prior evening's hangover -- due to the unencumbering liberation one often feels when the prospect of a four-day weekend comes on -- or devoting the entire afternoon to absolute gluttony, gouging ourselves with obscene platefuls of turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and all the fixings.

New Times urges Americans not to lose sight of our founding fathers' vision and encourages a day of overindulging with loved ones. Because, is there anything more American than putting away ten pounds of fowl in one sitting? Overeating is good for the economy, folks. With this in mind, we've devised this handy list of five songs that can be an excellent step-by-step companion to coming back from holiday excess.

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We promise this list will empty your coffers.

​Thanksgiving is a time for family, reflection, a hearty meal... and gobblers. No, we're not talking turkey. We're referring to the temptations that gobble up our money on Black Friday. This year, as always, there are plenty of audible inducements to separate us from our hard-earned cash. As a public service -- we are so civically minded, after all -- we here at New Times offer our suggestions for holiday gift giving of the musical variety. First and foremost, check out the offerings at Radio-Active Records' and Sweat Records' glut of Black Friday specials.

Plus, retro is huge this year, so there's ample opportunity for those who missed out on certain artists the first time around to catch up via a box set or retrospective sampling. Below, we have compiled several titles worth tracking down.

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