Essay This

Chris Brown Is Painfully Tacky, But Always Cooler Than Drake, Even When It Comes to Aaliyah

By Liz Tracy Mon., Jun. 17 2013 at 11:01 AM
Categories: Essay This

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No one can deny that Chris Brown is a dude seriously committed to tackiness. But as a Breezy apologist of sorts, we gotta say, he's always less tacky than Drake.

Yeah, Drake dresses more subtly, doesn't get stupid rowdy every time he gets side-eye at da club, and he didn't tat a pic of his ex that he beat up on his neck. But he did tattoo Aaliyah on his back, and that whole obsession is more than a teeny bit creepy.


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Celebrity Proclamations

Brad Paisley and LL Cool J's "Accidental Racist" Is Cripplingly Awkward

By David Von Bader Tue., Apr. 9 2013 at 10:36 AM
Categories: Celebrity Proclamations, Essay This, News
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rapradar.com
We have all, no doubt, suffered through an inarticulate moment or two in our lives. And while there are truly few things as frustrating as searching for the right way to put something and coming up short, it is generally better to not say anything at all until the thought is thoroughly baked. 

Unfortunately, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J have not yet mastered this concept and have collaborated to put together the track "Accidental Racist," an entirely unnecessary and unbearably awkward musical dissection of the perennially simmering racial conflicts that plague Americans -- namely due to the popularity of the Confederate flag as a banner of pride and symbol of heritage for Southerners. 

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Essay This

Billy Boloby's Last Stand? West Palm Musician Battles Crippling Disease: Part 2

By County Grind Thu., Dec. 13 2012 at 9:07 AM
Categories: Essay This
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By Billy Boloby


Always the optimist, I looked on the "bright side" - I didn't have to worry about Crohn's screwing up my performance schedule. But then I thought about all the traveling I did over the years and how much I took it for granted. I looked back on the Mute-Ants' two month-long tours. All of a sudden, all that seemed impossible. How did I ever travel the country in a van, eating food from diners and convenience stores without a care in the world? Simple answer: I didn't. The guy who did all that stuff doesn't exist anymore. 

And that was just as true for everyone else. 
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Essay This

Billy Boloby's Last Stand? West Palm Musician Battles Crippling Disease

By County Grind Wed., Dec. 12 2012 at 8:17 AM
Categories: Essay This
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I really hate battles of the bands. I mean, besides the fact that my bands never won, it's just a reminder that we're all doing this shit for selfish reasons, despite what anyone says. Yet for some reason I always ended up competing. I just wish my final performance wasn't another losing battle. Then again, it's an apt metaphor, considering it was my battle with disease that sidelined me in the first place.

On August 29, 2008, my band Pots 'N' Pans competed in a battle at the North Miami Museum of Contemporary Art. We didn't win, nor did we deserve to after my mediocre performance. For anyone not familiar, I was the frontman for several bands throughout the years: The Happy Accidents and Mute-Ants in the '90s, and Billy Boloby, the Bittercups and Pots 'N' Pans in the aughts. My shtick was being very physical, like Olivia Newton John (well, maybe not, though I did wear leotards for a couple of Mute-Ants shows, unfortunately). But at the MOCA battle, I wasn't at 100 percent physically, or even psychologically. 

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Essay This

PSY Brings Gangnam to Fort Lauderdale; Dominates YouTube and Pop Culture Worldwide

By Victor Gonzalez Wed., Dec. 5 2012 at 8:21 AM
Categories: Essay This
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"With this new album, I just wanted to make something that was purely comedic -- something that could make people laugh like crazy even in the midst of all this global economic slowdown," PSY, the "Gangnam Style" Korean YouTube phenomenon, told CNN earlier this year.

Learning how to "Gangnam Style" really is so much more fun than thinking about the looming threat of PSY's nutty North Korean neighbors defying the U.N. Security Council and testing rockets capable of incomprehensible destruction.

In the United States, where a good chunk of the country peacefully turns a blind eye to anything that isn't summarized in a Facebook status, human rights violations, poverty, and hunger play only small supporting roles in the YouTube generation's collective, augmented reality. 'Cause if it ain't on YouTube, it ain't important.


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Essay This

Is Rihanna Redefining Her Image with Seapunk SNL Performance?

By Ryan Morejon Wed., Nov. 14 2012 at 9:42 AM
Categories: Essay This
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If you know what's good for you as a musician right now, you'd be scrambling around to get Rihanna's publicist's number. This person is unapologetically expanding Rihanna's demo from an otherwise pop/house audience to include a more subversive, self-aware, (in some ways, postmodern) audience.

Ones who might gravitate more towards Squidbillies or Mr. Show with Bob and David than How I Met Your Mother. Or who might find Lisa Frank art more interesting than Andy Warhol. Folks more likely to reblog Windows 95 clip art than Sartorialist photos.

These are probably the exact things referenced in conversation by suits and heads when discussing Rihanna's Saturday Night Live performance. This is focus group vernacular -- a lexicon of samples, studies, and statistics.

"You need to get in with this audience. What are they called, hipsters? Seapunks?"
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Rihanna, Saturday Night Live, Seapunk
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Essay This

Opinion: Leave Chris Brown and Rihanna Alone Unless You're Suggesting a Couples Counselor

By Liz Tracy Wed., Oct. 17 2012 at 7:00 AM
Categories: Essay This
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Love is weird. Love is strange. There are people who will tell you confidently that love is beautiful, pure, magical, everywhere. Those people are either crazy or incredibly lucky. I hate those people sometimes, and I'm pretty sure right now that Rihanna's feeling that same way.

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- Rihanna and Chris Brown Together Is Seriously Confusing

On Monday, New Times writer Ryan Morejon shared his opinion on the Chris Brown Rihanna reunion. Although I agree with him on points -- you know, like about how it's inherently wrong for a dude to beat up a lady -- I had a different perspective on the scene overall. To simplify the differences, while Ryan felt the Crystals' "He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)" described their situation best, I think Mickey and Sylvia's "Love Is Strange" is more appropriate. I wasn't in the car when the beat down occurred. I don't know what Rihanna like feels inside. I have no idea if Brown's anger management classes worked out for him. But damn, love is strange and sometimes really ugly. 

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Chris Brown, Jay-Z, Oprah, Rihanna
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Essay This

Opinion: Rihanna and Chris Brown Back Together Is Seriously Confusing

By Ryan Morejon Tue., Oct. 16 2012 at 7:54 AM
Categories: Essay This
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Rihanna and Chris Brown appear to be back together after a bizarre, sexually-tense, passive-aggressive break-up, or hiatus rather. This information has fueled many fucked up emotions in all of us.

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- Response: Leave Chris Brown and Rihanna Alone Unless You're Suggesting a Couples Counselor

We all know how it ended, with tears, bruises, and heartache. That was exactly when my hate for Chris Brown erupted -- seriously, this guy is a piece of shit. I've read so many reactions to this situation, some complex and some just downright offensive. Not sure why people find it easy to, in a roundabout way, pin RiRi as the one at fault. That just comments deeper on where our society stands on male and female roles in relationships than anything else. 

The typical and appropriate reaction to this whole thing is: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING BACK WITH THIS ASSHOLE?" Less so: "Well, it's her choice and we should respect that." This situation reminds me of The Crystals' song "He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)," a tune that everyone should listen to when assessing Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship (moreso than the "We Found Love" video). The song, which is about singer Little Eva's experience with domestic violence, is haunting, beautiful, and sad only because of the woman's delusion of love and the violence associated with it.

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Chris Brown, Jay-Z, Rihanna, the Crystals
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Essay This

An Old Punker Weighs in on Green Day, Methuselahs of Rock n' Roll

By Abel Folgar Thu., Oct. 11 2012 at 11:16 AM
Categories: Essay This, Talking Shit, Video
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Still older than me... but what the hey, right? They have more hair...


Ahh. where do I begin, sweet reader, where do I begin? Well, let's start at the beginning like all the true and honest pieces we've shared here in the past. Let this old dino have another couple of years of local journalism... Because let's face the facts, me ankles are being nipped by the incongruent molars of youth and quite frankly, I have not the medical insurance guaranteed by my sheriffs to defray them costs.

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- 5 Ways Green Day Sold out to the Punx


So then, let's go to the beginning. When Green Day announced their triptych effort (¡Uno! was already released), I was asked weigh in with my two cents. With Matt Preira's controversial County Grind article, 5 Ways Green Day Sold out to the Punx, the youths had their say. So, I'm the ringer brought in to make Green Day cool again. At least for the "pushing forty" crowd (which I'm told accounts for thirty percent of our readership).

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Tags:

Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day, Lookout! Records, Matt Preira, Mike Dirnt, old punks, Roofless Records, Tre Cool
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Video

Chris Carrabba-Fronted Further Seems Forever Releases Video for "So Cold"; Are We Too Old or Too Young for This Song?

By Ryan Morejon Fri., Sep. 7 2012 at 1:02 PM
Categories: Essay This, Video
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The Long-Awaited Return of Dashboard Confessional's Chris Carrabba to Further Seems Forever Comes With an October Release, Penny Black

Chris Carrabba left Further Seems Forever to pursue other endeavors like the ultra-emo Dashboard Confessional and contributing songs for Tobey MaGuire movies. And after an 11-year break from his hometown act, Carrabba is back in the band with a new release Penny Black on Rise Records. Their first single off the album "So Cold" dropped today with a brand spanking new video.

The question we ask here is, what does this Carrabba-fronted Further Seems Forever mean to late 20 and early 30 somethings? "So Cold" has an adult contemporary vibe. Is that what our generation's listening to now? The thought of a FSF reunion felt fucking great for the first 10 minutes, but then one starts to wonder, "Wait, would I like FSF if I just started listening to it at this age?"
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Chris Carrabba, Dashboard Confessional, Further Seems Forever
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