EXXXotica 2013: Porn Star Amy Brooke's Ass is Real and Other Discoveries

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Exxxotica, the porno and adult entertainment convention that's touted as the nation's largest event dedicated to love and sex, moved North to Fort Lauderdale from South Beach this year. The convention, hall full of porn stars, dildos, swingers, kinky romance novels, how-to demos, and sexual enhancement products, gives the common porn fan a chance to interact with their favorite sultry starlets and hunks.

You, dear horndog, can ask the vixens and chiseled dudes, questions like, "Is your ass real?" No joke, that's a genuine, seemingly popular question asked by fans, says 25-year-old blonde bombshell, Amy Brooke.

The adventurous adult industry upstart, who could pass as a younger Jenna Jameson with more junk-in-the-truck, doesn't fret these matters when she interacts with fans. She enjoys it, matter of fact. We imagine it takes much more than a straightforward anatomical question to make a girl who won AVN's 2011 most outrageous sex scene and was nominated for best anal sex scene in the same year, blush. The gorgeous porno star is hosting an Exxxotica after-party herself, tonight and Saturday night at Fort Lauderdale shisha-and-bottle-service den, Off the Hookah.

County Grind had a chance to chat with the actress beforehand about what music gets her in the mood, and other adult matters. The personable Brooke proved to be a genuine, down home, sweetheart, of the variety that likes it up the butt.

See also:
- Five Best Exxxotica After-Parties in Fort Lauderdale: Teen Mom, S&M, and More
- Farrah Abraham Explains, the "Backdoor" in Backdoor Teen Mom Is "More Than Anal Sex"
- EXXXotica 2013: Gianna Michaels Enjoys Music That Provokes Emotion

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Ten Worst Florida Bands of All Time

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Florida is a swamp filled with crazy people -- mostly rednecks and political refugees -- who are so far removed from the rest of civilization and its myriad, sanity-sustaining social contracts that their screws can't help but loosen more every day.

To be fair, crazy people have their place in society. Sometimes, somebody needs to get the party started, and it's usually the person in the room with the least number of metaphorical "marbles." And very often, nutzoids are responsible for some of the best tunes making their way around the Facebook reshare circuit.

However, crazy people have also been known to make really shitty music too. And because Florida has a higher-than-average percentage of whack-jobs, County Grind is sad to report that we produce an exorbitant number of bands and solo artists that make us ashamed to admit we were born here.

Roll up your sleeves and double-dose the klonopin and/or omeprazole. 'Cause we're about to list the ten worst bands from Florida of all freakin' time. We mean every last word of every single thing typed after the jump and believe what we've written with the infallible orthodox mysticism (and old-world bloodlust) of a Muslim cleric in tribal Kurdistan.

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Hate Music and Pan con Lechón-Eating, Pembroke Pines Neo-Nazis

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AF
Maybe if it said "ENGLISH ONLY, PLEASE"

Regardless of what rumors you've heard, or the excessive and rather inane coverage we give inconsequential humans like the Kardashians, the Wests (and their upcoming hybrid model) and the Biebers of the world; your Broward/Palm Beach New Times has always thought of its readership first and foremost. We strive to provide a voice and a line of interest for the local reader who deserves better than our mainstream counterparts. While we can't cover everything, at times, we try to make amends.

See also:
- Clarity in Neo-Nazi Stabbings at Ritz
- The Forgetters - The Talent Farm, Pembroke Pines - January 7

Imagine the eye-opener suffered by this County Grind correspondent this past Monday while on route to the Forgetters show in west Pembroke Pines, when he realized that the sonic needs and necessities of the White Power community here in Broward County had been ignored for so long?! Especially those armed with a pen, a buttload of ignorant hatred, and with a taste for delicious pan con lechón, cascos de guayaba con queso crema, and fritas.

And to think! These constituents of ours are forced by ethnic expansion to shop at Sedano's! That's right, the image above was taken inside the men's room of the Pines Boulevard store. We'd like to set the record straight, and do so with music.

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POLL: Nicki Minaj vs. Mariah Carey! Who Should Be the Next American Idol Judge?

Categories: Dubious Honors
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Word on the street -- a dirty, dark street, crawling with hairy-palmed mouthbreathers -- is that Mariah Carey's 'bout to stick a bitch over a mad coveted seat on American Idol. The female who needs to watch her back is none other than the baddest bitch since Da Baddest Bitch: Nicki Minaj.

The flailing pop culture institution (now in its third or fourth round of phlegm-soaked death cries) is still balancing a number of variables: Does the show need more male judges? Can Middle America hang with that many black folks on American Idol? But it does appears that, right now, Lil Wayne's favorite freaky-deaky Barbie is the frontrunner for the open slot. And Mariah is pissed!

The question we now ask you is: Who do you think should become the next judge on American Idol? Click the jump to cast your vote.
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