Which Miami Heat Player (or Coach) Picked the White Stripes as Their Opening Song?

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If you get to a Miami Heat game early, you're in for a confounding surprise.

After the warm-ups and stretching but before the tip-off, the arena's lights dim. It's time for the Miami Heat's starting lineup. A video on the scoreboard is accompanied by music to psych up the crowd. Usually it's from some classic-rock or hip-hop song. Last year, it was Kanye West's "All of the Lights"; the year before, Phil Collins sang "In the Air Tonight" to the arena.

This year, out of the woodwork, comes the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army." It's been ten years since the song came out, which I suppose qualifies it for classic-rock status, but NBA arenas, and Miami in particular, are not known for their love of indie rock. So someone on the team must have pushed for it. But who would do such a thing?

Join us as we do some detective work on who might have requested "Seven Nation Army" as the Miami Heat's warm-up song and who might push for the Pixies next year.

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Dave Chappelle Checks Texts Instead of Telling Jokes at Charity Event

Comedian Dave Chappelle gave a bizarre performance last night during his appearance at Zo's Summer Groove Comedy Show at Hard Rock Live in Hollywood, the yearly charity event put on by ex-Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning (and that we regrettably had a ticket giveaway for).

The former Chappelle Show star was distracted by the audience to the point that he was berating fans for recording him and not telling any jokes. At least this wasn't a night when he was planning to take back his standup endurance record from Dane Cook by performing for more than seven hours.

The antihilarity was documented on CNN's Roland S. Martin's Twitter account, where he noted, "He got texted four times during his show and actually checked them." We have Martin's hilarious tweets -- including a couple that address Chappelle interacting with him from the stage -- posted last night and some not-very-fun-to-watch video of the awkward scene.

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Beyonce's "God Bless the U.S.A." Cover Bests "Osama bin Laden is Dead"

Not the cover of Beyonce's "God Bless the U.S.A." single.
Earlier this week, we wondered which song would emerge as the patriotic anthem of choice in a world untainted by Osama bin Laden. Well, "God Bless the U.S.A." figures to be that song. But it'll be Beyonce's version -- recorded for Barack Obama's presidential campaign in 2008 -- instead of the Lee Greenwood original. Let's just say that's it's an irreplaceable rendition with swelling acoustic guitars and a synth-clap beat that'll make Lite-FM programmers giddy from sea to shining sea.

Although Piers Morgan is "premiering" the song on his show tonight at 9 p.m. on CNN, Bey's version has been floating around on YouTube for the past couple years. Stream it below.

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Charlie Crist, David Byrne Settle Campaign Song Lawsuit

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Hopefully this isn't the last time we get to use this picture.
Last May, now-former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist got legally entangled with now-former Talking Head David Byrne over using the hit "Road to Nowhere" in a campaign ad without permission. On Monday, that rift was settled, and Crist publicly apologized in a rather strange YouTube video embedded below. "The use of David Byrne's song and his voice in my campaign advertisement without his permission was wrong and should not have occurred," the pol says in the video. Apparently, Byrne's voice deserves a special shoutout in these proceedings. Jim Morrison did not receive one, though.

Anyhow, the terms of the settlement remain private, and Crist was happy with the mediation that occurred. "As I told him, I was sorry it ever happened at all," he said. "He couldn't have been more of a gentleman about it."

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Lil Wayne Owes $5.6 Million in Taxes, Teams With Mary J. Blige and Rick Ross

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How many millions has he made selling blunt cigars?
Just in case you were wondering, Lil Wayne makes a lot of money. Just think about how much he must have saved while he was in prison and not constantly purchasing lollipops. In any case, the IRS dropped a massive tax lien on Weezy last week in Miami. Let's hope that he's got a good chunk of change riding on his NCAA Men's Basketball bracket.

Coincidentally, he'll be in town for Tuesday's performance at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise along with Rick Ross, Travis Barker, Nicki Minaj, our boy Lil Twist, and more.

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Enrique Iglesias NOT Opening for Britney Spears' 2011 Tour

Enrique: I don't like it
Well that was quick. TMZ.com dropped a bombshell this morning that Enrique Iglesias' monster-sized ego is too enormous to handle second-billing to even Britney Spears. And, the joint tour announced yesterday -- including July 22 in Miami -- will not feature Iglesias anymore.

To many Americans, this is probably a little strange to hear, but dude has sold approximately 55 million albums worldwide and counting -- so give him a break for being wildly full of himself.

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Rihanna Ditches Palm Beach Charity Gig, Enrages Donald Trump

Please don't stop the music?
Looks like Donald Trump wasn't covered by Rihanna's "Umbrella" this past Saturday for a benefit show at his club on Palm Beach Island. Mere hours before she was set to perform at Trump's Mar-A-Lago Club for the Dana-Faber Cancer Institute's 20th Annual Discovery Celebration event, she called in sick.

Reported in full over at the Juice, Trump was hopping mad when he saw the seemingly healthy R&B star perform the very next evening at the NBA All-Star Game in Los Angeles with Kanye West and Drake.

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13 Songs Dedicated to the Biscayne Bay Piano

A sophisticated rendering borrowed, with love, from Miami New Times.
The news business had a field day yesterday with this grand piano that somehow ended up on a sandbar in Biscayne Bay near North Miami. While this would be a great place for Yanni to compose, with the inspiration of nature literally lapping at his toes, the origin of this instrument's placement remains a mystery so far. Noted that Miami New Times' Amanda McCorquodale has already made diligent work of upping the speculation game: "The piano is a leftover prop from a Kanye West video filming. (I'm on a boat! With a piano!)." UPDATED: Now we know it wasn't some indie filmmakers looking for cred, but apparently a 16-year-old named Nicholas Harrington trying (failing?) to woo college admissions officers.

With the piano being one of the most ubiquitous, yet unwieldy, instruments in the U.S., there are plenty of popular artists who could be responsible for this bit of public exhibition -- David Byrne and Lang Lang have already crossed our minds. But we'll take this further to identify the songs that should be played on this ever-rotting instrument. (In pretty much all cases, these are artists that would definitely be into a piano in the ocean concept for a music video.)

The rules: Must reference water, and the recording must prominently feature a piano. And yes, a bunch of Counting Crows songs got left out.

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Does a South Florida Rock Star Like High-Priced Hookers?

This is a serious question, actually. The Detroit News dropped quite a bombshell earlier today following the arrest of alleged Miami Companions madam Laurie Carr. According to a 2007 e-mail to TV execs, one of Carr's clients was "a lead singer of one of the most successful modern rock bands in recent years, was known as a customer with 'very deep pockets' who 'always paid for multiple hours every time his wife was out of town.'"

Additionally, this unnamed rocker was reportedly so freaking wasted during his most recent tryst with a pair of Miami Companions' finest that they were afraid to ride back with him from a supposed "drug house" in Miami Beach.

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