​Let's get down to it. The music cruise concert ShipRocked is bringing a fully rock-heavy, headbanging lineup to the tropics this November.

The four-day voyage sets sail from Fort Lauderdale on November 27 and will feature Godsmack, Five Finger Death Punch, P.O.D., Sevendust, Filter, Fuel, Black Stone Cherry, Lit, Geoff Tate (Queensrÿche), Gilby Clarke (ex-Guns N' Roses), and In This Moment. They're calling it the "ultimate" of the rock cruises. Suppose it remains to be seen if this fourth-annual high-seas rock fest will be the ultimate one of its sort.
 

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Ian Witlen

Jonas Stein on the mic with Turbo Fruits playing last year's preshow at Grand Central.

​Bruise Cruise organizers Michelle Cable and Turbo Fruits' Jonas Stein suggest bringing a few essentials on the boat this year. 1. a Speedo, 2. sunglasses, 3. a fanny pack ("Even though it sounds unhip, it was actually our saving grace," Cable advises.), 4. vitamins, 5. formal wear, and 6. An open mind.

"You've got to be down for anything," she said. "People just got cheesy and let their guilty pleasures come out. Dancing to Top 40 hits, letting their hair down, and not caring about how they look in their bathing suit anymore." That's right, even grungy rock guys will feel comfortable in their banana hammocks.


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photo by Ian Witlen

a scene from the recent Holy Ship! cruise

​Over the past couple weeks, South Florida benefited from the music-cruise scene when top acts from the annual Jam Cruise and inaugural Weezer Cruise played land-locked kickoff and post-ship shows. It's been an unexpected positive of the booming themed cruise explosion, which has attracted entirely new audiences to cruising and proved a fun way for artists to make some money in the in-flux industry. More >>

Photo by Ian Witlen

​Holy Ship!
With Fatboy Slim, Skrillex, Buraka Som Sistema, Diplo, A-Trak, Dillon Francis, Rusko, Brodinski, Egyptrixx, Dave Nada
MSC PoesiaJanuary 6-9, 2012

Check out a slideshow from the cruise here.

Better than: All my pre-Holy Ship! expectations -- this was pretty special...

Arriving at Port Everglades on Friday afternoon for embarkation and only the most very churlish could not have felt a sense of event excitement. Maybe there was still a sense of kinetic from the previous night's feel-good Mad Decent pre-party -- which featured somewhat of a coming-of-age performance from Dillon Francis, a brutal DJ Craze set and a stripped down Diplo-lead Major Lazer party. Alternatively it's just the combination of a sense of the unknown and pure expectation of seeing an impressive array of key electronic artists, private island parties and the beauty of the Bahamas.

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Photo by Ian Witlen

​ Sometimes we wonder how photographer Ian Witlen gets out of bed in the morning with the rough assignments we give him. This shot, and plenty of others from this past weekend's Holy Ship! cruise seem to suggest that he's constantly in the middle of a total bummer. I mean, the boat crashed into the land and angered a bunch of reef-loving divers.


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Photo by Ian Witlen

Five tugboats work to pull the Holy Ship! out of some holy shit in the Bahamas on Saturday.

​The inaugural Holy Ship! cruise, which sailed this past weekend from Fort Lauderdale to the Bahamas with a huge cast of electronic music artists and fans in tow, hit a serious snag on Saturday morning. Like, the MSC Poesia literally snagged land, and things got shaky for a while for Skrillex, Fatboy Slim, Diplo, and the rest of the crew. Note: This is the same boat that is scheduled to take a whole bunch of Deadheads back out to sea today on the 10th annual Jam Cruise, which is sold out.

New Times photographer Ian Witlen says the commotion started at about 7 a.m. on Saturday when the boat was scheduled to dock at Port Lucaya in the Bahamas. "I was fast asleep," he says. "When it happened, it was like 'boom!' A huge bang. Grinding and rattling and everything started shaking. I had a half plate of food on my side table that flew off onto the floor. I heard the people in the room next to me freaking out and screaming, 'Oh my god, we're going down, where's the life vests? We're gonna die!'"

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​Montreal-born DJ and producer A-Trak is perhaps most recently known as one half of Duck Sauce, the disco-house production crew he has formed with Armand Van Helden. Clubbers will instantly recognize their smash singles "Barbara Streisand" and "Big Bad Wolf." But A-Trak also boasts a serious background as a turntablist. And in 2003, he served as Kanye West's personal tour DJ, and has contributed scratches to West's albums Late Registration and Graduation.  More >>

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​Event producer and DJ Gary Richards is in the throes of a busy time. He was sought out by Trent Reznor to put on a string of events across the world to celebrate his latest film composition project, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and he his the mastermind behind the HARD electronic music festivals. The HARD series hits the high seas January 6-9 for the inaugural Holy Ship! festival.

The ship in question is the 2,550-passenger MSC Poesia and the event is a three-night electronic dance party taking place on the floating party vessel. The cruise departs from Fort Lauderdale and makes a stop at a private island in the Bahamas for a beach party. The whole event features artists such as Fatboy Slim, Diplo, Skrillex, Rusko, Steve Aoki and Laidback Luke among many others.

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​Anyone who has witnessed the Pied Piper of R&B afloat in the "Step in the Name of Love" video hoped that this day would eventually come: R. Kelly is hosting the Love Letter Cruise in October 2012. Embarking October 1-5 from Miami aboard the comfortable Carnival Destiny, this is a bold new step for sea-faring entertainment. Talk about trapped on the Lido Deck.

Ever since "the finer things in life" became part of the Kelly image, this guy probably could've done more to attach his name to various products -- chocolates, seat covers, jewelry, and heaven knows what sort of luxury "adult" items -- but as we've seen with other musicians, the cruise has become the ultimate in mutual appreciation between artist and fans. It's certainly better received than any Black & White Party on land could ever hope to be.


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