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There is nothing South Florida likes (read: loves) more than contests. Be it moronically closely watched dangling chads versus dimpled keypunches, Cubans versus Ozzie Guillen's big mouth, or which douchey nightclub charges more for lackluster VIP setups, ours is a competition-driven society. More >>

​Aziz Ansari More >>

Rob Delaney More >>

​Marc Maron
The Colony Theater, Miami Beach
Thursday, March 1, 2012

Better Than: Spending an evening alone on Twitter

Marc Maron -- despite the fact that he's based in sunny Los Angeles -- projects an image that's almost the antithesis of South Florida. His comic persona is constructed around being an over-thinker, a self-sabotager, and not so much a has-been as an almost-was.

"I don't have so much of a demographic as a mental disposition," he said of his target audience during his performance last night at the Colony Theater in Miami Beach. "It's a weird hyper-sensitivity bordering on bipolarism. I'm for people who know too much useless information, who use it to make their friends uncomfortable." More >>

Facebook.com

Have these guys called you yet?

​Fair warning to my soon-to-be-announced replacement at New Times: if Surfer Blood gets a hold of your phone number, there's a good chance that you'll be on the receiving end of a prank call at some point. In fact, the West Palm Beach foursome are so dedicated to their phone gags, that their Warner Bros. follow-up to Astro Coast could be akin to Built to Spill with the Jerky Boys on guest vocals.

It's my last day working here, so here's a little inside baseball-y story about one of the many absurd phone calls I received from a wild bunch of characters. (We'll save the rasta man for another day.) I realize fully that messing with music scribes in this manner is nothing new. Chuck Eddy got a "a wastebasket of extremely wet water" dumped on him in his sleep by the Beastie Boys in 1987, so I got off pretty lucky.
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​Known sports fanatic and "leader" of the now stitched-together Smashing Pumpkins Billy Corgan has recently undertaken a new endeavor unrelated to music. No, it isn't another clothing line endorsement, but it might be just as good. Corgan has launched a new professional wrestling league labeled "Resistance Pro" (complete with an edgy backward R in the logo).

"We're going to try and bring back to Chicago the glory days," he says in an interview with Fox News.

We understand that any new business venture can prove to be taxing to the mind, so we took it upon ourselves to offer some advice to Billy that pertains to the pro wrestling arena.

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Ding dong, man. Ding dong.

​The king of novelty music, Weird Al Yankovic has had a fruitful and lucrative career, yet very few will claim him as their favorite artist. His parody work is amazingly perfect. In many cases, it's his spoof of the original that launches the song he's ripping on to classic status. "Like a Surgeon," "Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch," "Phony Calls," and all his Jacko-based jams -- anytime Weird Al makes his version of a song, that's when you truly know: That song is an international superhit.

We'll get to see Al perform all his hits and nonhits on October 1, when Comedy Central premieres "Weird Al" Yankovic Live! -- The Alpocalypse Tour. Like his role UHF, our favorite zany underdog will rule the air. Thank you for wising up, Comedy Central -- we're getting tired of groaning at Jeff Dunham and his dorky puppets. We can pretty much guarantee that Alpocalypse will be devoid of redneck jokes or Carlos Mencia-style stolen jokes. What we will get is tons of hilarious music, wholesome ridiculous wackiness and -- in typical Al fashion -- an accordion medley of today's biggest hits.

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Wikipedia.com

Excuse me is this - FLOIVIN HOVIN-LAYYYY-DEEEEEEEEE?!!!

​After 45 gregarious years, Jerry Lewis bowing out of the telethon game is like Michael Jordan leaving the NBA or Steve Carrell leaving The Office or David Lee Roth leaving Van Halen. Sure, the show will go on, and someone will replace him, but his face and supersilly -- sometimes supercilious -- demeanor are synonymous with the show and MDA awareness.

Under Jerry's wing, the telethon has raised about $1.6 billion for the Muscular Dystrophy Associations of America. It's a mammoth undertaking, going on air for up to 21 1/2 hours at a time; we don't know if Jerry takes power naps, B12 shots, or just doesn't sleep at all. We do know that without him, it isn't going to be the same. The man can dart from zany hilarity to dead serious like no other.

In celebration of Légionnaire Lewis' fine work, let's relive ten of the show's finest musical moments.
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