Imagine you're Justin Bieber last night at the Heat-Pacers game.

You felt almost unrecognizable. At first, you kinda liked it. "Yeah, this is how real people experience the world," you thought. Your face, simply one of many anonymous mugs in a sea of white shirts cheering on LeBron and the boys. Go Heat! you said to yourself, smugly.

"That's cool though. Right?" you asked yourself nervously, crossing your arms. You're good, wearing a black leather bodysuit in the summertime. Sure everyone else was wearing white, but you didn't know that's how they do in the 305. You're Canadian, and not the kind that flocks South for a January sunburn.

It was totally chill that no one was looking at you. You were getting used to it, in fact. You were to there root for the Heat in your white-washed-jean-looking Miami snapback. It's aight. That's why you wore those sunglasses to a night game. They helped you blend in, deflecting attention from the cow flesh draping your chest.

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All year round, Bieber all 'bout 'dem trees.

At the very beginning of 2013, we declared that Canadian Tweety Bird heartthrob extraordinaire, Justin Bieber, was going to the year's Pothead to Watch.

And while we maintain that Le Biebz is rapidly degenerating into a perpetually tardy, perma-smelly pothead, and that his mounting, life-consuming addiction to reefer has him neck-and-neck with Lindsay Lohan in an unofficial "Who Sucks The Most?" contest, we also feel kind of bad about heating up the little dude's scene.

We can't help but feel at least partly responsible for Justin's Blunt-mobile tour bus getting stopped in Sweden for -- you guessed it -- reeking of sweet Mary Jane.

See also
- Justin Bluntin' Bieber Booed by Fans in London for Being a Tardy Pothead
- Justin Bieber vs. Lindsay Lohan: Who is The Bigger Loser?
- PHOTOS: Justin Bieber at American Airlines Arena
- Justin Bieber's Message to Anne Frank and Five Others We're Sure Drop on This European Vacation

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South Florida is no stranger to the summertime shenanigans of a quad of deranged eternal teenagers the Icelandic press once proclaimed "greater than the touch of God between your legs." But who are, rather, what is Pool Party? A prolific rock 'n' roll power combo for sure. Eighty-degree-weather-clad young men? Yes. Enigmas wrapped within the overpartied carcass of a mystery? Why not?

See also:
- Pool Party's "Teenage Weirdo" Video Heralds the Official End of Summer!
- Pool Party Tackles Social Issues With the Upcoming Teenage Weirdo Seven-Inch
- Pool Party's Creep Guirdo Demands That Ponderosa Not Name Their Next Album "Pool Party"

If anything, Pool Party has long represented the idea, theory, and execution of fun. How it managed to convince Chicago's Mooster Records to pony up hard currency to satisfy its recording whims will not be fully explained within these digital pages, but singer, Svengali, and, at times, road-rash manager Creep Guirdo did find a little time in his busy schedule to discuss the band and give us some advice.

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Sayre Berman

Actual country music, and also what the powers-that-be have named the twang-affected psuedo-rock or fiddle-touched pop music that drips out of Nashville's never-ceasing production lines each year, holds the largest fan-base in music these days. Modern country artists sell records, they sell massive amounts of tickets, and they're a hot commodity. More »

Update: Even creepier still, the #cut4Bieber hash was seeded by internet trolls months back. It was originally a hoax created to have fans cut their hair because they said Bieber had cancer. It's not certain how many images of sliced wrists are authentic. It's clear the Internet is the tool. Trolls are the enemy. 
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Bring your floaties!

It's pretty safe to assume that Pool Party garners the same fan rift Twilight fans fagged out with, that Team Edward/Team Jacob hullabaloo; you either get the South Florida-fried via Iceland sense of humor or you don't. Touted as lifting the limp flag left behind by the once mighty Queers, Pool Party have single-handedly saved Ramones'-ready pop punk from the putrid morass it had slowly gone to sleep in.

See also:
- Pool Party Tackles Social Issues With the Upcoming Teenage Weirdo Seven-Inch
- Pool Party Kicks Off Severe Party Would Tour of Florida (Video)
- No Manners: Pool Party's "Raised by Wolves" Video

You could even argue that these guys haven't even been teenagers but are beings of light created by the excess of chlorinated waters and cheap beers. You could even argue that they don't fully understand themselves like the best Scandinavian bands who sing beautifully in English but then deliver the most misguided and ESOL-needing interviews ever (The Hives, ABBA, anyone?).

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"Around the house we always had music," Justin Bieber's mother, author Pattie Mallette told us in a back room at Books and Books in Coral Gables. She'd just arrived from the Women of Faith event in Fort Lauderdale. "I would sing and play the guitar and have people over. And he would join up and bring the djembe and start playing along with us."

Mallette, who sang in the choir, danced, and acted growing up, says her and her superstar son share the arts in common. But most recently, she's entered the spotlight as an author of a mémoire Nowhere But Up: The Story of Justin Bieber's Mom. A single mom who'd had a rough childhood, she says she works to, "inspire people to get through their own journey."

Mallette admitted, "I think a lot of people don't know that I lived in a pregnancy home the whole time I had Justin."

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