Turbo Fruits' Jonas Stein Talks Bruise Cruise and New Album

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Ian Witlen

You couldn't pick a better venue to watch Nashville's scuzzy and jangly punk rockers Turbo Fruits perform than Lake Worth haunt Propaganda. It's as if frontman Jonas Stein's dirty, debauched pop ditties were destined to be played on that stage. If you haven't witnessed Turbo Fruits' boozy, frantic, instant-backyard-party-type performances, this is a show that should be marked on your calendar, son.

Stein is a mesmeric frontman who can do some T-Rex-sized riffage while three feet in the air, striking a split leap. (We wonder how many pairs of skinny jeans Stein goes through in a year.) Stein has been plugging away with Turbo Fruits since he started the group in 2006 as a side project to his main gig as part of the frenzied garage-rock, post-riot grrrl licks of Be Your Own Pet.

See also: Lazer Puzzy Is Starting "the Year with a Bang"

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Skum, the Band "No One Really Heard," Reunites for Documentary

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Skum back in the day.

Skum was always more hype than band. Starting out in Williamsburg, VA, in the 1980s they were better at promoting themselves than playing their instruments. They did everything in their power, including calling the cops to shut down their shows, to make certain they weren't exposed as only knowing how to play three songs.

After relocating to Miami, in a cruel twist of irony, Hurricane Andrew destroyed all their equipment and master tapes, so that the album they actually did record would never see the light of day. Decades later, a box of tapes were found, inspiring Skum to make a movie about their story called Skum Rocks. The last scene of this documentary will be filmed Friday night at Baroos Beachside Bar in Indiaalatnic where Skum will reunite with an actual live show for the first time since 1990 (assuming nobody calls the cops on them).

New Times spoke with Skum frontman Hart Baur and guitarist John Eaton about Skum's not so illustrious past and their more illustrious present, where if accomplishing nothing else, Skum has become the only band to ever record in both Sun Studio and Abbey Road in the same calendar year.

See also: Alice Cooper Assures That He Is "Still the Oldest Vampire Here"

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Is Beyoncé's Mystery Producer Boots Jordy Asher?

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Boots' Soundcloud

Earlier this week, Buzzfeed attempted to uncover who some new guy on the music scene named Boots is. He coproduced and wrote a bunch of songs on Queen Bey's new superduper surprise visual album Beyoncé that dropped out of nowhere the other day.

If you're a longtime South Florida music lover, you might've started to uncover from Buzzfeed's clues that Boots is likely Jordy Asher, the Broward County-bred, scuzzy frontman of such local defunct favorites as Stonefox, Blond Fuzz, and Young Circles who garnered national attention for his band Blonds.

Going off one pic in particular -- reportedly Tweeted by a member of Beyoncé's creative team -- mds (designed memory) states "celebrating with my dear friend BOOTS who wrote 4 songs and co produced 80% of the album," the proof is in the pudding. It's our man Asher, or one of his pals, or he photobombed this picture.

See also: Young Circles' Jordy Asher on Burying "StoneFuzz," Rapping, & Leaving Genres Behind

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Cats Officially Own Christmas

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facebook.com/ChristmasCatsTV

If there were a genus of mammals that should be most grateful for the internet, it's the felis, which includes the domestic cat. And not just the most flawless of kitties have benefited from the World Wide Web. Nope. Differently abled and homeless felines have found as much, if not more, fame on the internets as the furriest and cuddliest. For example, we all know Grumpy Cat. He's a dwarf. So is Lil Bub. Then there's Oskar the Blind Cat, who is, well, you know, unable to see.

Maybe it all stared with Lolcats, and maybe we still want a li'l Lolcat sometimes. But as the web evolved and our tastes changed, we just want CATS. And turns out, in 2013, they're seriously all we want for Christmas too.

This holiday season, these mewing beasts have reached the height of visibility. Did you see Christmas Cats TV? A grandma-type (who seemed to have boned Elvis and Johnny Cash), an elf guy -- comedian Andrew Rappo -- and tons of kitties were live-streamed as they celebrated Christmas a few weeks early. Then there's Grumpy Cat on everything. GC even got together with a slew of other internet pussies to make a Friskies commercial. But that's not all.

See also: Q&A: Internet Sensation Lil Bub Spills the Cat Food on Her Love of Rush and Bjork

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Ten Things We'd Like to See in New Chapters of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet

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Thirty-three chapters of the epic "hip hopera" Trapped in the Closet are evidently not enough. The song that never ends, written and performed by R. Kelly, where he sings every character's dialogue and action in E major, endures with new chapters coming in 2014, according to IFC.

To celebrate, the cable network showed all 33 chapters last Saturday. Rewatching it in its entirety, I have absolute faith that R. Kelly will continue on the divine path of awesomeness and awfulness that has made Trapped in the Closet such a masterpiece. Just in case Kells forgot what made Trapped such a classic, here is a checklist of ten things we would like to see in the new chapters.

See also: R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Goes to Broadway

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Boy George's Basel 2013 Bash at Mansion Miami: A Photo Recap

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George Martinez

When Miami heard that the legend, the fashion (and karma) chameleon, and now comeback kid, Boy George, would be coming to play a DJ and an acoustic set during Art Basel Miami Beach week, every mouth was yapping about it from Hialeah to Wilton Manors.

There's no one quite like Boy George. In the '80s, he was one hot mama-looking lad. In the '90s, he knew all that there was to know about The Crying Game, and he transformed into performance guru Leigh Bowery for his musical Taboo. And yes, he ended up in the slammer for a bit in the aughts. But these days, he's touring again with manager and DJ Marc Vedo (they have a residency at Amnesia Ibiza) and he very recently released, This Is What I Do, because this is what George does, ladies and gents.

For Basel 2013, he and Vedo ruled the dance floor at South Beach's Mansion. It was a magnificent way to wrap up a week of insanity. Here's a photo recap of the night.

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MOCA and Vanity Fair Party: Tracey Emin Draws Kevin Spacey and Huge Art Crowd

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Yes, we cut in front of the paparazzi to take a shot of Kevin Spacey posing with Tracey Emin. And what?

The black walls inside the Museum of Contemporary Art, North Miami are glowing and buzzing with Tracey Emin's work. Lines like "People Like You Need to Fuck People Like Me" and "My Cunt Is Wet with Fear" become iconic when emanating flattering light from delicate neon tubes.

We met Jay Thomas, an attendee at the opening of "Angel Without You" who wasn't familiar with Emin's work. He observed that the interior "looked like a bar," and that "this is what the inside of Twitter looks like."

After briefly meeting her, we can assume that the British art star would contest this crass assessment. But if you take a look at what's hanging on the walls, he's not totally off. Neon does often signify something's for sale, and there was a sexy bar vibe at MOCA last night that's not typical for a museum. Also, re: the Twitter comment, the neon-sculpted phrases were intimate and seemingly scribbled -- some poetic, some about anal sex. (Hey, why not?). And there were those works showing a pretty bird or -- in true Tweeter fashion -- a woman's uncrossed legs, revealing a glowing crotch.

Like the Internet, there was nothing boring about the show and everything emotional. But unlike the Internet, it felt warm, personal, and memorable.

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Sierra Mizrahi Hosts "An Afrikan Affair" Drag Ball Tonight in Hollywood

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Photo by Morgan Coleman

Sierra Mizrahi, AKA James, got her second name in the ballroom scene amid drag queens, men dressed like moms and club girls, and artists of the vogueing sort. "I knew that I wanted to be in women's clothing. I knew that I wanted to do drag," Mizrahi says. Slight and dark-skinned, Mizrahi is smart and confident, with an easy, soft laugh. Her phone is ringing off the hook, and she answers once to speak in Creole.

Although she's been in the ballroom scene for nine years, tonight is her first time planning and throwing a ball solo. "An Afrikan Affair" is taking over the Hollywood Jaycees Hall with what Mizrahi calls "an alternative fashion show." Mizrahi, like most others, was introduced to ball culture through the film Paris Is Burning. A month later, while living in Fort Lauderdale, she went to a club and encountered enthusiastic chants. It was her first ball. Though most have to be voted into a "house" and deal with an initiation process, she was immediately inducted into the House of Blahnik.

See also: Photo Recap of Face 2 Face's an African Affair at Hollywood Jaycees


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Astari Nite Releases "Pyramids" Video at Vagabond This Friday (PHOTOS)

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Antonio Angelo

Miami darkwave foursome Astari Nite is back in the spotlight with their upcoming screening of the video for "Pyramids." The sexy shoot features ballerina Julie Callea Sease doing an interpretive dance to their synthy sound and Mychael Ghost's dreamy vocals. Ghost describes her as "kind of like the girl in my thoughts, the person I never got over." As she pirouettes to the tune, nearby, a party ensues. The whole shebang was shot at Wynwood's Armory Studios, and there's a lot to look at, with plenty kinky going on.

"You know it's pretty strange," Ghost relays, "when Ileana (Monet, director, Blind Beast) came to me with the skeletal frame of 'Pyramids,' it was then when I knew our music was heading toward a direction that I always wanted it to be. So making a video for this track was a metamorphosis in its own right. It was a way for us to say and accept what we are to become."


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Day of the Dead Celebration Demonstrates the "Art of Community" in Fort Lauderdale

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Ian Witlen

The Florida Day of the Dead Celebration is definitely something to gawk at, but for all the right reasons. Located in downtown Fort Lauderdale, the motto for the fourth annual event is "memory for the dead, party for the living."

And quite a party it is. The Dia de los Muertos Family Day starts at 2 p.m. at the Museum of Art Fort Lauderdale, while a procession of freaky painted folks gather at Huizenga Park at 6 p.m. These beautiful skull-faced revelers follow founder and owner of the Puppet Network Jim Hammond to Stache. There are skulls to paint, mariachi bands playing, Mexican ofrenda altars to honor ancestors, crafts to buy, and so much more. Like so, so much more, it's ridiculous; like arial performers insane. This year they're introducing luchadores to the ring and Dance Macabro, a Gothic fundraiser.

We spoke with event producers Hammond, Iron Forge Press' Chuck Loose, and Tortuga Tile Works' LuRu Rudawsky about their Saturday, November 2, extravaganza.

See also: Photos from 2012's South Florida Day of the Dead Celebration at FAT Village


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