NFL Asks Money to Perform the Super Bowl Halftime Show: An Imagined Correspondence

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Sayre Berman
This is what Chris Martin's face must have looked like when hearing the news.

The Wall Street Journal reported earlier this week that the National Football League asked representatives of Katy Perry, Rihanna, and Coldplay how much they would pay to play next February's Super Bowl halftime show.

While the NFL generally hasn't paid its Super Bowl halftime performers in the past, it did at least cover those act's travel and production expenses. But seeing as how last year Bruno Mars and the previous Super Bowl's Beyoncé performance brought an uptick in those acts' touring revenue, the NFL figured they might as well wring every dollar asking candidates, according to the Wall Street Journal, "to contribute a portion of their post-Super Bowl tour income to the league, or if they would make some other type of financial contribution, in exchange for the halftime gig."

Here's how we imagine the NFL's correspondence with musicians went regarding this matter.


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Ten Musicians Besides James Brown Who Deserve Biopics

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Universal Pictures

The trajectory of the life of a rock 'n' roll star and the Hollywood movie go hand in hand. Our protagonist is often a tortured genius, raised from the gutter to the glitz and glamour of fame, drunk on its toxic alchemy of drink, drugs, and destructive romance. There might be a sense of a life wasted, an element of martyrdom about their end, or even better, a comeback. The excesses of stardom are nixed in favor of a simpler life where the protagonist finds comfort in walking their dog on the beach over snorting mountains of white powder.

The new James Brown biopic, Get On Up, set for release today, should provide examples of some of the above and then some. Born in a shack in Georgia, and raised for a time in a brothel, Brown exploded from the southern "chitlin circuit" scene, breaking new ground in music, performance, and badassedness. Against the turbulent backdrop of the Vietnam and civil rights era, the "Godfather of Soul" became a spokesman for black America, creating challenging, exhilarating music, frenetic live shows while sporting increasingly wild costumes and hairdos. There is of course the darker side -- substance abuse and car crash relationships -- and an element of career twilight redemption in there to boot. It's surprising that Hollywood didn't latch onto this sooner after his 2006 Christmas Day death.

Here's a list of other artists whose larger than life antics could provide fodder for Hollywood.

See also: James Brown Killed Dumb Biopics: Why the Messy Get On Up Gets It Right


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Ten Best James Brown Appearances in Movies and on TV

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D. Stevens

With Get on Up opening tonight movie audiences will be reintroduced to the hardest working man in show business, the Godfather of Soul, Mr. Dynamite, and yes, this is all the same person: Mr. James Brown.

Though early reviews of the film are solid, the fact that it's directed by the visionary behind The Help has us a little worried that the portrayal of this complex, insanely talented man might be oversimplified. But fortunately, we have YouTube where James Brown still lives.

The man was not afraid to stand before the camera and do what he did best. Here are the ten most fantastic instances in movies and television where James Brown got down.

See also: James Brown Killed Dumb Biopics: Why the Messy Get On Up Gets It Right


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Musicians Who've Taken Sides in Israel-Palestine Conflict

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Sayre Berman

To us mere plebeians, social media is often a voyeuristic peek into the glamorous idiocy of celebrity. We get to see their endless slew of selfies, obtain a first glance at whatever new thing they are trying to sell us, and we can chuckle at their all caps, poorly written rants on subpar first class travel or their odes to quinoa.

However, the terrible violence and escalating death toll in Palestine and Israel have seen some celebs taking to social networking sites seriously to offer their thoughts on the crisis -- with mixed results. Rihanna and Selena Gomez quickly deleted or altered their tweets within minutes of posting last week, despite that fact neither were particularly controversial. Pearl Jam frontman, Eddie Vedder, was branded "anti-Israel" by the Jerusalem Post after comments he made about Israeli settlements. Vedder then took to the band's website to state, "Attempting to make a plea for more peace in the world at a rock concert ... is not something I'm going to stop any time soon."

This is not a recent phenomenon. Stars who have articulated their positions on the conflict in Israel and Palestine have received as much of the ire of their fans as they have their support. Here are a few.


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Jenna Balfe Dances in Mangroves: Healing with Performance and Nature

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Courtesy Jenna Balfe

Jenna Balfe climbs through mangroves. Her strong, lean body weaves through the intricately tangled branches. This is her art, her dance, and her healing. She knows that she probably won't fall, but if she does, Balfe, a clear-thinking, creative individual, will take whatever shit situation befalls her, learn from it, and use that new knowledge to help other broken people mend.

For a few years now, Balfe has been committed to her Body Movement class. "I don't want it to be like a normal dance class," she says. And it certainly isn't. Each lesson allows regular folks, as well as those more in tune with their physicality, to explore their and each others' bodies, the space they occupy, and a natural environment. Balfe calls these free classes democratic, adding that the students are oftentimes teachers, that she's merely providing the place and some guidance. But that would downplay her very important role in this complex project, one that continues to evolve with an upcoming performance, People/Trees/Here, taking place in a Coconut Grove mangrove forest.


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Unit 1 Sessions Premieres Sweet Bronco's "Crush Crush"

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We've had privilege of introducing you last week to Ketchy Shuby's "Key Elements of Life." It was the first in a series of videos shot live as part of Unit 1 Sessions, Jacques de Beaufort's visual and audio project. At his Lake Worth art space, in collaboration with Reel Tone Recordings, he systematically gathered the area's finest talents and filmed them performing live. It's like going to a concert, but you don't have to get out of bed, no one's spilling beer on you, or panting hungrily by your side, unless you have a dog.

This second in the series is the video for Sweet Bronco's "Crush Crush." Frontman, founder, and most steady member, Chris Horgan, has been around the Broward scene nearly forever. Born and bred in the area, he started playing traditional tunes like "Home on the Range" in preschool. "Somewhere in there, we learned the alphabet," he told County Grind in a 2012 interview, "but it was mostly music."

See also: Unit 1 Sessions Presents Ketchy Shuby's "Key Elements of Life": The Only Video You Must See Today


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Ten Ugliest "O" Faces in Pop Music (NSFW)

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angela n. via Flickr

Most professional musicians who make it to the world stage are rather beautiful. It's part of the deal that they're more attractive or interesting in the face than most.

But no matter how gorgeous that mug, if they're putting even smidgen of soul into their efforts, their face is gonna show it. They often look as though they're having a rough time in the John after an unfortunate encounter with street meat or as if in the throes of true ecstasy (which feels better than it looks).

Though some might see it as a translation of "spirit" or "passion," these funny "O" faces offer the rest of us ugly fucks the chance to humanize celebrities. It just so happens that the following lookers display hysterical shred-face when wilin' out. This collection of grimaces lays out pretty much the worst best of them.

See also: Ultra 2014's 25 Best Bass Faces

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Unit 1 Sessions Presents Ketchy Shuby's "Key Elements of Life": The Only Video You Must See Today

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When I first caught Ketchy Shuby live in 2011, opening for Surfer Blood and the Spam Allstars, my eyes pulsed and my ears dilated. I remember looking around, just kind of being like, "These guys are maybe really good?!" It was a DWNTWN Concert Series on Biscayne Bay, and though the sun was shining and the crowd subdued, there was something about this band that called its sound "downtown soul." It jammed the stage full of some otherworldly energy that surprised, impressed, and funked.

At the time, frontman Jason Joshua Hernandez-Rodriguez had a ridiculously voluminous afro, but even with all that look, he seemed sort of inconspicuous until he opened his mouth and he became a superstar. The group's popularity has steadily grown since, with cool gigs at like Calle Ocho, Spin's 2013 South by Southwest showcase, and Radio-Active Records' Record Store Day.

The band recently linked up with Lake Worth artist and videographer Jacques de Beaufort to collaborate on a new video project, Unit 1 Sessions. The series records local musicians at de Beaufort's home/gallery, Unit 1. Before they met on set, the artist hadn't even heard of the band. But after experiencing them live, he admitted in an interview last week, de Beaufort is now a megafan. His mom even crushes on the singer.

See also: Unit 1 Sessions: Jacques de Beaufort's Lake Worth Gallery Gets Musical

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Possible Activities at Ted Nugent's Kamp for Kids

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Ian Witlen

It sounds like the setup for a joke. Kooky right-winger and former rock-star Ted Nugent has a summer camp he calls Kamp for Kids.

According to the organization's news release:

25 years ago multi-platinum guitar icon Ted Nugent set out on a selfless mission to get kids out of malls, off the streets, away from drugs and crime, into the woods and in touch with the natural healing powers of the wild. The goal of the Kamp is to teach a child morals and ethics, and their role as caring humans that manage and respect the wildlife around us. From this desire to help others, the "Ted Nugent Kamp For Kids" was founded.

Knowing what we do about the singer of "Cat Scratch Fever" -- the guy who called President Barack Obama a "communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel" and said of immigrants, "foreigners are scum, I don't like them, I don't want them in our country" -- here's our best guess of what kind of activities this kind-hearted man might have in store at the Nuge's Kamp for Kids.

See also: Ted Nugent on Politics: "Obama Represents Everything Bad About Humanity"


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"Nerd Culture" Art Exhibition at Tate's Comics Presented by the Thought Coalition

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facebook.com/ThoughtCoalition

When I first looked up Thought Coalition on Facebook, I wasn't sure what the group did. It almost sounded like some kind of secret, Fight Club society for the brain (Rule number 1: You do not talk about Thought Coalition). But after speaking with founder Gregory Dirr, I learned that Thought Coalition is a group of collaborating artists who exhibit together. They'll be having their "Further Adventures of the Thought Coalition" exhibition at none other than Tate's Comics' Bear and Bird Boutique + Gallery -- arguably the most beloved comic book store in the Southeast.

With a heavy focus on "nerd culture" inspired by Tate's, it's an event that's sure to bring out your inner geek while feeding your artistic soul and your actual belly. Tasty vegan snacks courtesy of Half Baked Goods will be available, and if that's not your thing, salty snacks from Tate's, free beer, and wine will do you good. Dirr explained to New Times how to plan an art show about Tate's, brought to you by the Thought Coalition.

See also: Tate's Comics Is Expanding Its Original Location


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