Eight Things We'll Miss Most About True Blood

Categories: Film and TV


The other day, I watched the second to last episode of True Blood in my living room, and I cried. I pressed pause, I made lunch, and then I cried again.

I know. It's totally embarrassing. Shameful. And I can blame my funky hormones or total exhaustion, but the truth is, I've gotten pretty attached to the residents of Bon Temps. And now that we're only one episode away from "true love" or "true death," I'm felling some real separation anxiety.

The show is absolutely absurd, and that's just part of why I love it. I even adore the corniness of the fairy nightclub that looks like it was designed by Lisa Frank on a limited budget and how uncomfortable that makes me feel. I adore the way Talbot Angelis adds such flair to Russell Edgington's luxurious home (pouring Bill a glass, he says, "Chilled carbonated blood. It's cruelty free, all willingly donated! Note the citrusy finish. This one ate only tangerines for weeks."). Almost every little thing that looks or sounds dorky has a dimension of staight-faced satire to it. But it's never mean-spirited and it's usually sexy.

There have been certain things that didn't stick for me, like I hated Bill as Lilith. Maybe that's because I'm TV in love with Bill Compton and couldn't stand the thought of losing him or maybe it's because it was just dumb. And Maryann actually made orgies boring. But the things that make this vampiric, fantastical, sexy HBO series so engrossing aren't just the campy jokes and insane plot lines, but the way it handles two things: 1. relationships and 2. hot bods. And how those hot bods relate to each other, of course.

Though many onetime fangbangers have fallen out of infatuation with the program, I really suggest they watch this season. These past 9 shows have been handled with intelligence and care, and I'm so damned glad Hoyt came back I could pee-pee. My tissues are ready for this Sunday.

I thought we might take a trot down memory lane and explore a few things we'll likely all miss about True Blood.

8. The Clicking of Vampire Teeth
I'm fascinated by the way each vamp's teeth look a little different from each other, and yet they all make that same funny clicking sound. I'll long for the whistling noise that comes when we're transported back into sort of not that interesting vampire memories of centuries past. The way Eric just zips up into the sky with a swoosh. The squishy sound Sookie makes when she falls into the gook that is Bill-Lilith's remains.

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Urgh.... this show should have been staked 4 years ago.

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