Top Seven Signs You're Too Old for Warped Tour

Categories: Warped Tour

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Alex Markow

Summer is the season of music festivals, so naturally, that's when the 20-years-strong Vans Warped Tour makes its round of the nation.

Unlike the trends at popular EDM fests -- you know, flower headbands, dilated pupils, corny rave moves -- Warped Tour keeps things pretty much rock 'n' roll with moshing, blood-shot eyes, and Converse-covered feet. Warped Tour these days also has a more niche demographic than even the electronic parties but without an exact cutoff age. So it leads one to wonder: When should you stop going?

To help our dear readers discover at which point they're too old to attend, we compiled a list. If three or more of these apply, you may want to return your ticket.

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Alex Markow

7. Someone mistakes you for their mom.
Let's start with the most obvious sign. You know you're too old to be at a show when you realistically could have birthed more than half the attendees.

While you're planning your retirement fund, buying a house, or nursing, the teens at Warped are worrying about which band T to get with their $40 paycheck. Ah, youth.

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Alex Markow

6. You wonder the whole time, "Who are these bands?"
Remember when you went to Warped Tour back in high school and memorized every song sung by your favorite bands? You were so adamant about seeing each of these acts that if two of them played at the same time on different stages, it ruined your life.

Now you look at the lineup and don't know who the hell these bands are. Gone are the days of the Offspring, Dropkick Murphys, 3oh!3, Plain White T's, and A Day to Remember. Now the lineup is chock-full of mystery groups. Who should you see? Draw a name -- maybe you'll like them anyways.

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Cruzan Amphitheatre

601-7 Sansbury's Way,, West Palm Beach, FL

Category: Music

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9 comments
Steffi D'Angelo
Steffi D'Angelo

Bianca , I'm apparently WAY too old. Where did the time go? Lol

Jeremy Toste
Jeremy Toste

#1) you're interested in reading this article...

Billy Boloby
Billy Boloby

The date is wrong in the end blurb. July 16 was yesterday.

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