Top 10 South Florida Tinder Photo Clichés
Tinder is a trip, man. For those who have been afforded the opportunity to get out there and get their swipe on in multiple states, there is no question that the variety and disparity of people looking for some action between different 38-mile radii is vast.
Much like an area develops a dialect, an area's Tinder profiles too possess a unique patois -- one that speaks to the nature of the place's activities and attractions. While one might expect a place as unhinged and unchecked as South Florida to boast a veritable buffet of what-the-fuck!? on Tinder, we've found quite the opposite.
There's an inexplicable homogenization going on down here. Each swipe digs deeper into a gallery of ultimately basic horny adolescents. We want you to get laid via the internet, so here are the top 10 Tinder profile clichés to avoid perpetrating to the tri-county area. We start with the women and then move on into the men -- this is a collaborative list, with help from music editor Liz Tracy. Also, these aren't just for straight folk. Gays also take note.
5. The Birthday Dessert Surprise
Let's be honest: There really is nothing more attractive than a blurry photo of someone receiving a gigantic dessert plate splattered with a name and age in chocolate syrup. On the upside, you really do look ravishing in the glow cast by that sparkler, and now I know that you enjoy the Cheesecake Factory as much as I do!
It's Florida -- everyone has been on a fucking boat and taken the token boat pic. It's not unique. It doesn't really say anything about your interests, and we know you don't own the thing. That is, unless you do, in which case, my college loans and I want you to take us out to dinner.