Ten Most Annoying Drunk Dudes You Meet at a Bar

Categories: Talking Shit

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Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

8. Chester the Molester
Don't sit too close to Chester the Molester because he'll eventually grope you in the most indecent manner. His advances are always way too forward and never welcomed. He'll think he's smooth when he "accidentally" brushes your left breast while reaching for a beer at the bar. He thinks nothing of telling you how nice your ass looks in them jeans or how skilled he is at "going down" (tongue gesture included, of course).

This man has no filter, and the more he drinks, the more audacious he becomes with his sexual accosting. Don't worry; he'll eventually get slapped (or charged) by the end of the night.

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Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

7. The Smug Name-Dropper
This is the guy who knows all the Huizengas on a first-name basis, or so he says. He has only two degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon because he once partied with Mickey Rourke on South Beach. He had coffee with Sofia Vergara once, and he'll tell you she's really not that hot in real life. Dennis Rodman and him are boys.

How does an electrician have so many big-name contacts? Beats the hell out of us. His modus operandi is to lure in gals with his supposed Rolodex of big shots. Oh, you're an aspiring model; guess who once did work on John Casablancas' house? You got it: Mr. Name-Dropper. Don't believe a word that comes out of this delusional dimwit's mouth.


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