Ten Most Annoying Drunk Dudes You Meet at a Bar

Categories: Talking Shit

Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

No question, we here at the County Grind like to have a good time, have some laughs, and enjoy a few libations. Doesn't everybody? But sometimes we can get a little carried away in our merriments: One drink leads to another leads to a thousand.

Ever had a night like that? Ever been the sloppy drunk at the bar? Ever been 86'd from your favorite watering hole?

Sure there are those happy-go-lucky, life-of-the-party, shitfaced folks, but most of the time, an overly inebriated person just proves a public nuisance. You want to avoid those annoying boozers at any cost, so we're here to help.

What follows is a handy guide to help determine what kind of drunk dudes to avoid at the bar. Or, more realistically, the kind of drunk you don't want to become after imbibing entirely too much alcohol.

Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

10. The 'Roid Rage Gorilla
These muscleheads go to the bar for one thing and one thing only: to punch in some guy's face. Sure, there are fleeting moments when these swoll gorilla-heads chase tail, but the chance to pound their fist into another douche's mug always takes priority.

Whether it be an off glance or an accidental bump, the 'Roid Rager's temper is always on the verge of erupting. Stay clear of these anger-mongers; they're looking for any reason to explode.

Illustrations by Serena Dominguez

9. The Sad Sap
After a few drinks, it's all doom and gloom for this miserable guy. Sit next to one of these melancholic fellows and you might succumb to his bleakness. Nothing ruins a great night out more than some downer complaining about how his ex-wife left him, how his friends hate him, how the government blows, about that time he tried to sign up for Obamacare but the website crashed, how his life has no meaning, how cheesy the music at the bar is, how he should have finished those last three college credits... And that's all in one conversation.

Keep the razor blades (and Smiths tunes) away, and escape as soon as possible.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault