Rap Shirts for White People Are Painfully Accurate

startedfromthetop.png

Whoa! Check it out! The internet did something funny again! Oh, internet. You're too much. The latest soon-to-be-viral phenomenon addresses a serious issue that many aren't sensitive to in our day and age -- that it's hard out here for a white person. So damned hard. And for those porcelain-fleshed, plaid-shorts-wearing beings so inclined to grasp onto any bit of culture and pretend it's their own, it's even harder.

Despite being in the highly diversified South Florida, we still have our fair share of white-boy bros who don't exclusively rap out to Macklemore and Eminem. They treat all rappers with the same feigned understanding. For those freckled fellows who shout "THIS IS MY SHIIIIIIIT!" upon hearing a song about coming up from the streets, Rap Shirts for White People is for you!

Yes, these are exactly what they sound like. They take famous rap lines and make them a little more relatable for all the crackers out there. What a good deed, amirite? Let's take a look at some of our favorites and read a few of our own.


tumblr_n5s976sbnv1tambt5o1_500.png
Tumblr: #RapShirtsForWhitePeople

Mmmmm girl. We love the way you handle large sums of money. When we get you by ourselves, you know what's going down. Girl, imma pitch you my idea for drinkable yogurt. Girl, imma show you my designs for foldable hangers. Call me a visionary, you should back my startup.

tumblr_n547vkA1Lm1tambt5o1_500.png
Tumblr: #RapShirtsForWhitePeople

And we love bread, bread, that's our fuckin' problem. But gluten is like, so bad for you. Like, it makes you fat. Not phat, but like, fat. Not cute. Have you heard of the Coke Cleanse? It's when you only drink watered-down cocaine. No carbs! You might OD, but you'll look like, sooooooo good.

tumblr_n57rrqUX5T1tambt5o1_500.png
Tumblr: #RapShirtsForWhitePeople

To be fair, Drake, who sang, "started from the bottom/now we here" didn't really start from the bottom. He started as Canada's favorite sensitive, wheelchair-bound cutie on Degrassi. He mostly raps about #heartbreak, and we can only assume white guys weep over his lyrics in their parked Toyota Priuses. Cheer up, guys. We bet the Mad Men season finale will be really good!

My Voice Nation Help
11 comments
thissitecanblowme
thissitecanblowme

This is the dumbest thing I have seen on the net for weeks.  There is nothing clever at all, and rarely any obvious attempt at humor.  Also most of the statements are simply stupid and wrong.  I hate this and whoever created it simply because it existed close enough for me to come across.

carmentramarn
carmentramarn

OMG it is obviously satire-with a tag of "Talking Shit". Get over yourselves.

downtownbrown
downtownbrown

Rap shirts for black people

 "I'm a rapper bitch, cuz I can't play hoops, but I'ma fuck you up"


"Rap, because works too hard"


"Hiphop, cuz I can bang skeezy white girls"


"Street culture. Books are for faggots"


"Tupac, Biggie, all my heroes killt by the whiteman"

Ihavetwoparents
Ihavetwoparents

Why would a white person wallow in lowly ghetto culture?

Shawn Weaver
Shawn Weaver

Attention all rockers of the solar federation...attention all rockers of the solar federation....we have assumed control..we have assumed control.....

Robin D Revak
Robin D Revak

Except this is disgusting and unrealistically implies that all white people have money and privilege which is wrong. Does a white person growing up on the streets have less "street cred" than a black person just because they happen to be white?

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Clubs

Loading...