18 Signs Your Band Might Suck

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Nickelback knows how to suck in style.

It's been about a year now since you've been plugging away with your garage rock band, sweating in a non-air-conditioned warehouse space, and losing sleep over late-night practices. Mostly it's resulted only in your showing up late for your retail gig at Urban Outfitters. All this time, and you and your group of guys or gals have yet to reap the benefits of all that hard work. What gives? Is there something wrong with your sound? Maybe you just need a bassist with more oomph? Or is it that audiences just don't get what you are going for?

These are all valid questions, but which one is the reason you haven't blown up yet? How many more gigs can you perform for audiences of two or three? It's getting frustrating for sure, but no worries -- County Grind is always here to help. We got together with a few local notable musicians and crafted this nifty checklist to help you find out if it's just that your band sucks.


18. If you have deafening distortion on all your songs and you don't own or use a fuzz box, it may be time to hang it up.

17. If your lead singer lists Creed's Scott Stapp and Nickelback's Chad Kroeger as major influences on your social media sites, signs are not good.

16. If your kick drum is held together by duct tape, it may be time to call it quits.

15. If your PA picks up the local NPR radio station, we'd say it's probable you are wasting your time.

14. If your band has only ever been paid in free drink tickets, chances are high you are not on the right track.

13. If your frontman wears JNCo jean shorts (or any jean shorts, for that matter) onstage, you may need to rethink matters.

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5 comments
ChrisR
ChrisR

How about you jerks at new times stop trashing bands. For some godawful reason people actually take stock in what you idiots have to say. You are actually TOLD to trash bands in order to piss people off to get 'more clicks.' How about addressing the issue of how sometime in the past year South Florida's local scene truly disappeared. Band's like Lavola that used to fill a place like Propaganda (before it turned into bro central) used to fill the place, but before they relocated to Orlando they only drew a quarter of the size crowds they used to. The Goddamn Hustle barely play as well. Maybe it's because so many of the bands that New Times would toot as the best things since the invention of the wheel over saturated themselves and people got sick of them. And then there's the non indie bands down here that New Times would trash because they weren't indie rock bands. There is also our lack of venues that will allow original bands or only allow bands they like or friends bands play.

ChrisR
ChrisR

How about you jerks at new times stop trashing bands. For some godawful reason people actually take stock in what you idiots have to say. You are actually TOLD to trash bands in order to piss people off to get 'more clicks.' How about addressing the issue of how sometime in the past year South Florida's local scene truly disappeared. Band's like Lavola that used to fill a place like Propaganda (before it turned into bro central) used to fill the place, but before they relocated to Orlando they only drew a quarter of the size crowds they used to. The Goddamn Hustle barely play as well. Maybe it's because so many of the bands that New Times would toot as the best things since the invention of the wheel over saturated themselves and people got sick of them. And then there's the non indie bands down here that New Times would trash because they weren't indie rock bands. There is also our lack of venues that will allow original bands or only allow bands they like or friends bands play.

Shawn Weaver
Shawn Weaver

How can you tell you need to hire a new music critic...when nobody reads it...

Jonathan Whittaker
Jonathan Whittaker

All the bands are either numetal (1998 is over guys), cover bands, or dad rock. It doesn't help that there's also not a lot of great venues that showcase original acts. It's no wonder everyone down here listens to hip hop and we have no real rock radio station. It's sad, really.

ChrisR
ChrisR

What's dad rock? Like AC/DC, Rush and Springsteen? Seems like whatever bands are left down here are too gimmicky. No one writes palatable song anymore, just background music

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