Aziz Ansari's 10 Best Quotes at Hard Rock Live, Hollywood, March 15

5. On stupidly cheesy wedding speeches:

"Every time I see your eyes, my heart jizzes into my soul."

4. On what a more realistic wedding speech might sound like:

"I love you, but today, part of me feels like I'm buying a Honda Accord."

3. This one speaks for itself:

"Basically, it's statistically impossible to find happiness unless we all jerk off and go to bed."

2. On not texting back:

"What, do you work at the chocolate factory from I Love Lucy?"

1. Aziz gets romantic:

"If you've held someone you love and watched three to ten hours of a critically acclaimed drama, you've experienced the peak of human happiness."

Do yourself a favor, and go see the man live.

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Location Info


Hard Rock Live

1 Seminole Way, Hollywood, FL

Category: Music

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