Five Great Reasons to Party in Fort Lauderdale
Partying in Fort Lauderdale. It's like eating bread in Paris, surfing in Malibu, or being depressed in Moscow. It's just what the city was designed to best offer humanity.
Photo by epitomized1 via Wikipedia Commons
Sure, there are reasons not to party in Fort Lauderdale. You have work tomorrow, you're broke, Hector is still actively looking for you. But the reasons you should party in this city surely outweigh whatever pathetic reasons you can come up with to not get drunk in the 954.
And if you're still on the fence about the whole thing, read a few of these reasons and you'll be out and about in no time. But put on a disguise first, because Hector is pissed, dude.
5. It's not Miami
Photo by Ian Witlen
Which means you won't have to wait an hour for a $40 martini only to have a Mountain Dew shoved in your face because you're apparently too ugly for top shelf liquor. Then on your way out of the bar, Justin Bieber runs over your girlfriend with his Rolls Royce while you get a parking ticket stapled to your eardrum.
Look, Miami, you're cool and everything, but sometimes we just want to kick back with a $4 beer, surrounded by only slightly vain people.
4. No dress code
Photo by Alex Markow
Fort Lauderdale hasn't had a dress code since the Stranahan House implemented a strict no-nipple policy. There aren't too many places where you can wear sandals and a thong out without getting frostbite and a blemish on your arrest record.
This fine town frowns upon covering up. Sandals, shorts, it's all fair game around here. Nighttime is one of the few occasions when we can go outside without worrying about getting cancer. Try wearing a turtleneck out in Downtown Fort Laudy and see what happens. Eh, who are we kidding? You'll still get hit on.